Last week (and several years ago!) I unpacked the notion that colorism is “just a preference.” This week is all about how we can unlearn skin tone bias aka skin tone preference bka colorism. I’ll be sharing some of the mindsets and activities that have helped me and my clients see significant transformations in how we move through the world.
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Start noticing your thoughts and behaviors
A more passive way of doing this is to simply practice mindfulness throughout your day. Set the intention that you’re going to notice your thoughts, reactions, and feelings toward people. The feeling part is more important than people might realize. As you start to become more self-aware in this regard, start to ask yourself: Hmmm, I wonder what that was about. See if over time you start to notice a pattern. If so, ask yourself again: Hm, why is that? I consider this the passive way because you’re waiting to see what happens going forward, if anything.
There are a few of more proactive approaches. One of the simple ways to start noticing your patterns of thinking, feeling, or behaving toward yourself or others of different skin tones is to review your past. In a journal (yall know I love these!) scroll through your memories, look at old photos, old social media posts, skim old movies or TV shows, consider your exes, your family history etc. Take note of how you were thinking, feeling, behaving during those times. And again, ask yourself: Hm, I wonder what that was about. Notice any patterns?
A second method is to do your own quasi experiments. Look at photos of people with different skin tones and see how you respond to each one. Go out in public, ideally in a diverse location, and people watch. Observe how you feel, what you think, how you react as people approach, pass, etc.
A third proactive way to test yourself is to actually take the Harvard Implicit Association Test!
This can start to get very uncomfortable. That’s okay. That’s actually a good thing. Lean into it. Sit with it. Let it work on you. If you notice colorist patterns, discomfort is actually a healthy response.
Don’t underestimate the importance of this phase. Mental health researchers and practitioners have noted how merely becoming consciously aware of your thought patterns and behavioral patterns is the first step to freeing yourself from them. Don’t try to skip this step!
Identify sources of negative and positive input
I mentioned this in my Healing Habits post, and I’ll elaborate here.
I learned as a child, some basic laws of physics: You get out what you put in. Stereotypes in, stereotypes out. Antiblackness in, antiblackness out. Colorism in, colorism out. You feel me?
Identifying sources of negative input is similar to finding a the source of a leak, or trying to identify a foul odor in your home. None of the strategies I recommend next will be effective until you start identifying and ultimately eliminating the sources of colorist narratives.
On the other hand, identifying current or potential sources of positive input and increasing your exposure to them is a strategy that will boost the effectiveness of other strategies that I recommend.
The one key to this strategy that people underestimate is the quantity of input and the quantity of time it could take to see significant progress. I always say that we’re swimming up stream, swimming against the tide, running into the wind when we’re trying to deprogram harmful cultural narratives. If it feels effortless, it’s probably not very effective.
This is more than enough to hold you over until next week when I share some of the more novel tools and tactics you can use!
Reflection & Action
It’s straightforward: Follow the steps in this blog post!
Affirmation
I notice my thoughts, feelings, and behavior patterns, but I do not have to identify with them. I can choose different thoughts and behaviors, and I can affect my own emotional state. I commit to the process of unlearning skin tone bias for however long it takes.