by Crystal Armstrong
You’re three the first time you hear it
Whispered, like they think you can’t hear if they’re quiet
smart, smart, smart
When you’re in kindergarten
You get shuffled around like a show pony
Showing the board and the state you can read- chapter books!
Isn’t she
smart,smart, smart?
You watch your friends playing
And when you ask if you can go play with them
You get told no, why don’t you go read?
Soon they force you into a new program
They don’t ask if you want to go
You don’t have friends there
And so it goes
Everyone but you is
pale, pale, pale
When the Spanish teacher comes you already know
What she says
They force you into another program
in grade six
Everyone else is still
pale, pale, pale
You finally see girls who look like you
But they won’t talk because you’re
smart, smart, smart
High school is one AP after another
You find theater and you aren’t good at it
Not right away
They don’t whisper
smart, smart, smart
Just yell “Where’s the paint?”
When you leave a year early
They all say
smart,smart,smart
But you remember the girls who looked like you
They all whispered
bitch,bitch, bitch
And no one asks why you leave
You choose a state school
Because its cheap
And that’s
smart, smart, smart
After five semesters in a humanity
Listening to them wonder where they went wrong
Why the decision you made wasn’t
smart, smart,smart
You’re ready to pick up a knife
When you leave
The statistic one in six echos in your head
And you hear them whisper
Oh no, where’d she go wrong
She was so
smart, smart, smart
You can still hear the girls that look like you
bitch, bitch, bitch
You hear the past tense
You wish they’d have just let you be
Let you learn
Let you stand next to the girls who looked like you
You’ll take it, what they gave to you
When they whisper
So ashamed of their mistake
In thinking the brown girl could be
smart, smart, smart
You think you’re finally
happy, happy, happy
Because you’re
free, free, free
*2014 Colorism Poetry Contest Division 3 Honorable Mention
About the Poet: Crystal is 20 and is currently pursuing a degree in anthropology. Her free time consists mostly of writing freelance and teaching theater.
Crystal Armstrong | Casey Sanchez | Twitter: @casey2y5 | caseysanchez.wordpress.com