Where Are They Now? is a series I started this year to reconnect with former contestants of the international Colorism Healing Writing Contest. In this “episode” we have Sienna Morgan! It truly warms my heart to have this extended conversation with Sienna. She is such a GEM (and also a Gemini!!!). I feel truly blessed to have her as part of the CH Fam.
What are some memories, lessons, or favorite moments of your participation in previous contests?
My first time participating in the Colorism Healing Writing Contest was in 2018. Receiving the results was such a revelatory and historic moment for the renowned author that I shall become! Before this event, authorship was not on my radar. I will never forget the breath-taking feeling that I had while reading your email. There was a list of names in alphabetical order according to last names. I scrolled and scrolled and ironically, I missed my own name the first time. I remember you saying that 2018 had the most Editor’s Pick recipients, with probably over 20 people. I read over the names with such enthusiasm for the other authors. I hadn’t yet realized that I received the email because my piece was chosen. At first, I did a double-take. Then there was my name, “Sienna Morgan”, so beautiful, bold, and novel [in the sense of new, unusual, and pioneering]. This morsel of a moment has simmered deep within my soul and continues to be the thing that fills my paper and word documents with poems, stories, and other literary art that nourishes my small community of readers and writers. My 2018 Editor’s Pick poem, “Mama, Can I Go Outside”, is the first piece of mine to be published, and particularly in print. Being able to hold my printed name is as if looking into the face of a thing that I have birthed. This looks like me because it is me. My story, expression, feelings, and understanding [on the topic of colorism]. My embryonic entrance into the world of literature, and how I shall record who I am and how I think. I am so proud of myself and so thankful for the opportunity to relay this. I thank you, Dr. Webb, for giving me this divine memory.
The second best thing to happen to me came from the Colorism Healing Writing Contest of 2020. Each contest’s results bring great fortune. Last year, I met a fellow North Carolinian author by the name of Shainah M. Andrews. If you all that are reading this are unfamiliar with her, you might want to become privy to the talent that this name holds! All I have to say is wowww! We haven’t met each other in person yet, but we have made each other’s comment sections and DM’s a haven for fangirling over one another’s immense gifts, sisterhood, and sharing opportunities. Digital communities and connections are equally important as physical ones and have served as a safe guiding sail into one’s personal life as the drift of 2020 formed an archipelago in our once pangeaic way of interacting with humanity. What a friend I have found in her, and I am thankful.
What made you want to participate in the past?
Truthfully, I am the artist that writes from inspiration, with no other purpose than recording God-given moments. I then go back and edit those drafts with tact if it happens to be on-topic with submission prompts that I come across. Before 2018, I did not know the word or system of colorism, though I have experienced colorism, ineffably. That’s the thing—we can easily call racism the spade that it is. Colorism, not so easy. Particularly in the Black community, we don’t label things, certainly not the things we do/say to each other. “Oh that’s just your sister talking”, or some other excusatory statement is offered when a family member slights you. You take the jokes, you take the comments, you take the punches, and keep moving. We have made this internalized form of racism so “light-hearted” and subtle that it’s harder to address. I wrote my 2018 Editor’s Pick poem, “Mama, Can I Go Outside”, in the latter part of 2017 with no intention of sending it anywhere. In January 2018, I began to randomly look for publications to submit to. Divinely, I found Colorism Healing. I read through what you look for and it was a light-bulb moment for me. “Wow. Skin comments have a name?” was the question that I thought to myself. It struck me that I had recently written something along the lines of colorism. The whole idea behind “Mama, Can I Go Outside”, is the optimistic and healing monologue uttered unto my Black [fictitious] energetic child who loves the outdoors. We’ve all heard “come inside before you get dark/darker”. This doesn’t seem “big” but is the exact use of language that subtly perpetuates colorism amongst families. Like, what’s wrong with dark skin? I submitted it because I felt that I had a unique take on the topic. I am thankful for this poem to be housed by CH!
What made you want to be a judge this year?
To imagine back in January of 2018 that a platform would allow a voiceless girl her chance to finally speak. To imagine three years later, in January of 2021, while I am still honing my tone, that the same platform would position the now woman to give another soul their chance to finally be heard. While I’m not the type to be labeled as a dreamer, I am most definitely a moment-seeker and a memory-gatherer. As a young poet, it is an honor to know that I might have a hand in someone’s introduction to becoming an author. This is truly a full-circle experience. This also gives me more than enough practice time to comb through and analyze my life to find more colorist scenarios that need to be spoken about. Watch out CHWC 2022! 😅
What new developments have happened since we last spoke with you on the 2018 live book launch?
Wow! So many developments! 2020 and early 2021 were grand times for my writing. Besides publishing my second and third pieces with CH, I have work that has found homes with Harness Magazine, Cocoa Butter and Hair Grease, The Herb Habitue/The Garden Blog, Fruit of May, The Black Explorer Magazine, Black Girls Create, The Black Light Project, Querencia Lit Mag, Sipping Sunshine, and Pretty Black Thoughts.
In March of 2021, I was able to branch out into Spoken Word Poetry!! 😅🎬🎥 How completely out-of-the-box and unordinary for me to do lol! Lights, camera, Anxiety! No really, it was a great experience. This is my first performance of this nature and it turned out amazing! You can view this performance here: Black Artists Initiative: Jamil and Sienna. I sincerely value your support and feedback. The segment captures my performance piece (“Beholder: A Love Note to My People”) and an Artist Interview. This was my first time working with a full-on production company. Shout out to The Black Light Project and Fadeawayz Productions of Greenville and Charlotte, North Carolina! And let me tell you, there were a lot of bloopers! I was surprised at how jocosely I was able to laugh at myself, despite my initial nervousness and hesitancy. Can you expect more of me on camera? 🥴 With a great move of God, yes you can! 🤣
Tell us about your book.
I do not have a full-length project that you can expect from me yet, but we’re claiming it! Let me be honest for a moment. The best thing about being an author is being a contributing author. I love to collaborate, and in doing so, I feel that this is when I produce the best work. Writing with or for others brings out the intention in me. I am fully able to be myself while not boxing myself into a form, style, or genre. It is thrilling to work with publications that have set in stone missions. This is a positive contrast to my own brand and my role as a sower of words. The most heartfelt thing is to receive feedback stating how my recollection of events has touched a single heart. You can continue to look forward to more publications welcoming my pen.
What else do you have planned for the near future?
I am still in the beginning stages of my craft. I am constantly thinking of ideas and content to produce that will beautifully mold who I am as a creator. In addition to continuing to submit to other publications, I want to get more into the monetization side of being an author. I can envision some form of merch with my name on it! I have already created my author logo and have gotten that printed on a single shirt just for myself at the moment. I did get great feedback from my supportive community. Your name is the sole thing that is your ownership from birth to death. Proverbs 22:1 – A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold. I am coming to terms with loving my name, and believing that it deserves to have space in any room that I authorize. It is so good to know that my name is out there in the world and people can associate it with life-giving things! I want to keep it that way. You can look forward to my name appearing everywhere that it is destined to be!
What would you say to aspiring writers or people who are thinking about writing a book?
I want to step out on a limb here and speak to the unsure writer. I am speaking to myself as well. You know that you have something to say. You’re prolific with your pen, and it shows every time you dare to articulate and share what is in your heart. But you haven’t found the methodology that you feel you can best create with. I want to tell you if the task of writing a structured book scares you—those mighty chapters that fill the pages and proceeds from a plot that you feel you do not possess—you are not limited to what you can create. Keep having an appearance in anthologies that fit your interests, far and wide. Keep experimenting. Keep holding your words dear, for they are the closest and most present thing that connects you to God. When you find the form that you confidently feel like you can take on, I and so many others will be right there to support you.
What are some words of encouragement you have around the issue of colorism?
As you say, Dr. Webb, “healing from colorism is individual and collective, personal and systemic.” Get ready for storytime! *For all intents and purposes of not tarnishing some else’s name and brand, I won’t disclose that information. Anyhow, in October or November of 2020, I had a piece on colorism to be accepted by a publication. Their feedback was so initially positive. My reward was supposed to have been prize money and a physical contributor’s copy. This meant a lot to me because up until this point, I had never been paid for a contribution. I will say that February of 2021 was the final editing time. As things were being finalized, this particular editor was not giving grammatical suggestions or minor edits to make my piece pop and come across clearly. The initial acceptance became masked by invalidation and misadvice. Pretty much, I was advised to rewrite my experience with their narrative. The suggestions were so far from the theme that I intended to be inferred. It no longer felt like my story. The editor began to pick apart and belittle my well-thought-out concept. My content was turned on its head! It was a take on colorism that I’ve never seen articulated, so I thought I’d acknowledge it. With each email exchange, I began to feel so small. So defensive, and for every good reason! Instances like this can make you hesitant to share your experiences. It heightens my anger when people try to tell me what I mean, even though I’m a “say what you mean, mean what you say” type of person. I had to inform the editor that I can only write truthfully about the way that I perceive a subject. I also stated that if I could not explore and call out colorism, I wouldn’t have been chosen to be a judge for an international writing contest that revolves around colorism!💣🎯 I will never stifle my voice or asphyxiate my creativity, just to be publicized. Needless to say, the editor and I parted ways. This particular piece still sits in my arsenal [updated at my whim] as a weaponry epistle detailing my personal and systematic method of how I currently and will always address colorism in my everyday life. You might see it soon ✨☄ I share this to iterate that never let anyone be the gatekeeper of your story. It doesn’t have to be accepted, but it should always be spoken. Feedback is subjective and secondary to your truth. So if you see a way that you can heal from colorism or any negative experience in your life, but it’s untested, “unfounded”, or unexplored, be innovative and make it your experiment. It’s okay if your findings are only apparent to you. You just may be the next Alice Walker or Marcus Garvey. Langston Hughes or Wanda Coleman.
That brings me to my second point. Dr. Webb, you have said that what we perceive to be racial inequality is better explained through the lens of colorism than racism. There is a post on your Instagram page that states Healthcare is a surprising area of life where one may be affected by colorism. I want to take a moment and speak to the audience and readers who might be dealing with a diagnosed psychiatric disorder. I know that you’re tired, scared, and unsure. I know that it feels like no one understands your condition, white or black. I know that you’re just trying to roll with everything because that’s your only response mechanism. I know, I know I know. I know that people often explicitly associate “attitude” with Blackness. When in reality, this may be a sign of psychosis, agitation, antisocial behavior, or a break with reality, that needs to be medically addressed and has nothing to do with your skin color or ethnic background. It’s vexing, I know. I know there is a major disparity in available and received treatment. I know your own people don’t even show you grace because they believe “It’s a white man’s disease”. I wrote a poem on this [in the 2020 CHWC anthology] titled “Color In Mind” and one of my lines states that “It just feels so weird being black and feeling blue. It’s like the color is not reserved for me.” I want you to know that your Black is no different than anyone else’s—even if yours is tinged with Indigo. Thank you for still being here.
In addition to this, I want to say that we often talk about holding spaces for Black marginalized voices, stories, and women. Black men and women with psychiatric conditions are further marginalized and demonized, leading to ableism, another subsection, within an already disempowered group. If you’re someone who isn’t knowledgeable about particular disorders, it is ok to express initial hesitancy when someone shares their truth. It is not ok to alienate, isolate, or speak for or against, humans living a reality that is not yours. This group is also looking for the same community, story-telling space, and safety that you want for your identities. It is responsible for you to educate yourself on the injustices, prejudices, and disparities that affect the ones you love and choose to have relationships with.
Why should others participate in the writing contest this year?
“Colorism Healing” in all of its aspects, promotes community, racial solidarity, and teaches ways to be empathetic when listening to or reading a story that is different from your own. I’m most fond of the educational facet of CH! Your weekly live sessions, “Thursday Thought” emails, and daily thought-provoking posts, provide a treasure trove of new info to explore, and makes me glad to be a part of the Colorism Healing community classroom! I think that is the best thing about the contest. Though there are tiers, neither reward is diminishing. The contest favors writers at any stage of their career. Whether writing is a hobby for you, or if writing is the thing that aids you in providing shelter for yourself and your family, you have an equal chance! It doesn’t feel like a contest. You have to embrace the pupil spirit. It’s a thing of “how can I best tell my story, and how can I learn from and be inspired by someone else’s?” Editor’s Pick is no different from first place. I beg to differ that Editor’s pick is just as, if not more, prestigious than first place. Every preceding judge has been of great value in the process of curating previous anthologies. But to me, knowing that my story touched the heart of someone of your [Dr. Webb] stature, title, and academic and lived experience with colorism, make a small town and small dreams young woman like myself, aware that I can say something that can reach any kind of person. That is the mindset that has been most helpful to me upon entering the contest, especially as a returning contributor!
I am also going to add that if you have submitted to Colorism Healing in the past and your submission was not picked up, SUBMIT AGAIN. If you stick around long enough, you will find that the literary world and humans are very fickle and subjective. What’s a scandal one day is trash the next. You will face biases and prejudices everywhere that you go, and the literary world is not excluded. There are different judges each year for the CHWC, and I know your words are bound for healing and touching someone in their time. Never stop submitting your content to various publications, and remember what I said earlier that Feedback is subjective and secondary to your truth. There is no right or wrong way to tell your story. An editor will help you to tell your story in a grammatically correct way. The removal of your authenticity and true voice should never be exchanged for publication.