Subbi
By: Charlotte Namakula, 1st Place Youth Poetry Division
Out in the countryside of Kayindu, Uganda
Under my grandmother’s mango tree,
I feel my mother’s warm breath on my neck.
She weaves her legacy into my scalp
Pulling and twisting my hair into yarn
her red fingernails, sting my head.
She coils threads of yarn in my hair,
pulling until my face contorts in pain.
My mother’s fingers speak the language of
generations of African mothers.
Warm tears fall down my cheeks
She hums and sings
Subbi, Subbi Subbi mwana wange
tonamera berre
lwolimera berre
Lwedigenda naye.
Her voice roots itself in strands of my hair,
attaches myths of Ugandan Myths and poems
Maroon Sunrises,
Songs of birds under mango trees.
My mother spins self-love
and gratitude and wonder
into strands of twisted yarn on my head.
We both know
This will be the last time
I will feel her fingers comb through my dark hair
I feel her sweet papaya breath on my neck:
this will be the last time I hear her call me Subbi.
Before I fly 8000 miles
into a Chicago January
where everything is white,
where Shivering, Subbi also becomes whitened
and is now called Charlotte.
her stepmother untwists Ugandan braids,
And for four hours,
strands of her mother’s legacy
attached to black yarn
fall
on the pink tiles of the bathroom.
Her stepmother slathers on relaxers
to destroy the curls and coils of her hair;
They kill the ebizikkes and sebuttos
And silence the song birds.
The scent of mango and papaya is washed away by Dark & Lovely.
Relaxers, Relaxers, RELAX.
but Charlotte can not relax.
Because her skin is too dark and could never be fair & lovely
after school on Monday,
through the snow of Racine and 78th street
Charlotte shamefully walks to Walgreens
then hides herself in her step-mother’s bathroom
and rubs bleach on her skin
Subbi, Subbi Subbi mwana wange
tonamera berre
lwolimera berre
Lwedigenda nawe,
About the Poet: Charlotte Namakula is a Niles West High School graduate who has always been fascinated with language, grammar, and how to convey emotions with words. Charlotte will be attending the University of Iowa in the fall and majoring in creative writing so she can grow as a writer.