After my analysis of mothers and colorism last week and my earlier discussions of fathers and families, I want to step beyond analysis and commentary and speak more directly to strategies for breaking generational cycles of colorism.
This week I’m discussing the 5 important environments parents and guardians must curate and maintain in order to help stop the cycle of colorism within their families and among the larger society. Not only do parents care for these environments themselves, they also teach their children how to create and care for these environments too.
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Inner Environment
People have asked if I have, can, or will do more for children. My core belief is that I am directly helping children whenever I help the adults in those children’s lives, whether it’s parents, relatives, doctors, daycare providers, teachers, or coaches.
One of the best ways to help kids is to improve the environments they’re in, and that requires working with the adults who control those environments.
I also encourage parents not to ignore their own needs. Yes, this is yet another “oxygen mask” analogy.
How can we show kids how to love themselves if we haven’t done our own self love work? How can we teach kids to be kind and loving toward others when we aren’t willing to examine and correct our own biases and prejudices?
That said, I definitely do encourage parents to find and tap into a village. You don’t have to be limited to your own time, abilities, knowledge, etc. This can definitely be a collective effort.
Home Environment
- Choose your neighborhood based on the kinds of experiences you want your children to have.
- Decorate your home with items and images that affirm dark skin.
- Curate your media intake carefully and intentionally.
- Be intentional and consistent with the stories, lessons, values you share and reinforce with words and habits.
Extended Family Environment
- Limit interactions with colorist family members, whether they’re intentional or not.
- When you do interact, have a plan ahead of time for how you will respond to any colorist incidents. (Ex. simply walk away, ask follow up questions, call out and counteract, signal an accomplice, etc.)
- Deepen connections with supportive relatives.
School Environment
- Understand that education is wholistic, and that formal schooling is a social construct. Try to find balance.
- Get to know teachers, admin, and other staff. In particular, get to know their mission, their values, their objectives. Have conversations with them upfront about what you want in your child’s education and school experience.
- Form alliances with other parents who have similar values and objectives around inclusion, equity, justice, and diversity.
- Change schools.
Community Environment
- Joining teams, leagues, local organizations, churches, etc. that have proven inclusion and equity for dark skinned people at every level.
- Consider finding spaces that have the added mission or objective of affirming and bringing justice to dark-skinned Black people, even if it’s not a stated objective.