How to Be an Ally

how to be an ally

This was by far one of my favorite live Wednesday Workshops because I was joined by my sister, Dr. Jandel Crutchfield, to discuss colorism, privilege, and how to be an ally.

Dr. Crutchfield is an Assistant Professor in the School of Social work at the University of Texas at Arlington. She focuses on school social work and recently got awarded a Million dollar grant to help students with disabilities. Before her career switch to academia, Dr. Crutchfield worked as a licensed social worker and counselor in a variety of setting and institutions.

As sisters, growing up in the same household, and having the same mother and the same father (because people often assume we’re half sisters, itself a colorist assumption) we have lots of memories. We have done a couple of interviews before, one written interview and one video interview.

how to be an ally with dr. crutchfield holding up a black power first next to dr. webb both wearing masks due to COVID-19
Dr. Jandel Crutchfield
and Dr. Sarah L. Webb

In many of those interviews, we touch on privilege and allyship, but we wanted to specifically and explicitly address it in this workshop because of the increased attention to the need for allyship during the Black Lives Matter Movement.

We define and ask the audience to define privilege and allyship, and offer our own definitions. Dr. Crutchfield defines allyship as being willing to put your body on the line for the benefit of marginalized groups. This includes physical time, space, money, and effort. As I say, there must be some risk involved, otherwise it’s merely performative allyship.

For the rest of this discussion, I point you to the podcast or YouTube video below. There conversation there was way more interesting than I can transcribe here.

Homework: Identify an area of privilege you have, and do one act of allyship today!

Affirmation: I have the power to play a positive role in someone’s life today!

Watch and Listen:

Podcast available on Spotify, Apple, and more.
Subscribe on YouTube for more videos like this!

Mirror Work for Colorism Healing

mirror work wednesday writing workshop

This week’s workshop on “mirror work” is a continuation of my interest in mirrors, which started during graduate school while I was writing my dissertation.

It recalls a previous workshop in which I recited Lucille Clifton’s poem, “What the Mirror Said.”

It echoes the neuroscience theories of V. S. Ramachandran and mirror boxes used in mirror therapy for amputee patients experiencing phantom limb pain.

And, of course, it mirrors (haha) the Snow White reference: “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall,” which is quite related to the legacy of colorism and white supremacy.

Whether mirrors are used as extended metaphors in a poem or whether they are literal mirrors applied in medical work, they are great tools for healing!

To kick of the workshop portion, I use a “Mirror Work” exercise I learned from Lisa Nichols. The universe sent Lisa’s video to me at the exact moment I was getting up off my couch to prep for this workshop. (Given what was going on in my personal life that day, though, I know it was sent to me as more than just inspiration for the workshop.)

After that exercise, we then use the “In My Mirror” worksheet I created as part of the Kaleidoscope workbook. Although this worksheet was created with kids in mind, I have used it with several adults who get just as much out of the activity.

Homework: Practice your own mirror work, either with a journal as Lisa Nichols describes or with the worksheets I provide.

Affirmation: I see you.

Watch and Listen:

Podcast available on Spotify, iTunes, and more
Subscribe on YouTube to see more videos.

Re-Vision: Revising Attitudes About Colorism

revising attitudes about colorism

Re-Vision means seeing a second time.

Having a new vision.

Or when composing, going back to reorganize, add, cut out, restructure, alter the language.

Or simply to make changes.

In this Wednesday Workshop, I talk about applying these concepts of revision and apply them to colorism healing with the 3 P’s:

  • Probe
  • Pivot
  • Proceed

Probing Previous Attitudes About Colorism

While probing, we ask questions like:

  • How have I perceived myself in the past, particularly my complexion, hair, eyes, nose, etc.?
  • How did I develop those attitudes and perceptions?
  • What about my beliefs and attitudes about others? How did I get there?

Pivoting

The pivot isn’t always a 180 degree reversal in the opposite direction. Like a compass with a full range of points, you can explore an array of perspectives. It’s not a binary, but a spectrum. Journal prompts for the pivot point:

  • When was a time your perspective on beauty, skin color, hair texture, etc., flipped or was challenged or altered in some way?
  • If you could respond now, what would you say?
  • If you could revise earlier messages, what would the new and improved messages be?

Proceeding

Proceeding requires perseverance and vigilance. If we aren’ actively rowing, then we’re drifting. Questions to ponder in this phase:

  • What’s one way you can continue on your own path of colorism healing?
  • What about continuing your individual activism/advocacy against colorism?
  • What potential hurdles or obstacles might you encounter as you proceed? What personal or communal resources will you use to overcome them?

New Attitudes About Colorism

People can change. Whether you’re working to change your own attitudes or you’re hoping to influence the attitudes of family, friends, or others, commit to this process, and you will see changes!

Homework: Do your one task to proceed. OR Pick up at whatever stage you’re in.

Affirmation: You have the power to change your reality!

Watch and Listen:

Podcast available on Spotify, iTunes, and more
Subscribe on YouTube to see more videos.

Poetic Healing

poetic healing

I built on the previous workshop on metaphors and focused more this time on the healing aspects of writing for this live Wednesday Workshop, particularly poetic writing, especially since this was also streamed during National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo).

I believe we can use writing as a central tool in our spiritual work, mental work, to build confidence, self-awareness, self-esteem, socio-political consciousness, and so much more.

Poetry can be a polarizing subject. I know from my years of teaching writing. There’s lots of confusion and mystery and myth around it, even minor traumas for some. People either love it or hate or they’re completely apathetic. In this workshop, however, I focused on poetry for it’s spiritual and political utility, quoting Audre Lorde (which I featured in the Colorism Poems anthology):

“Poetry is not a luxury. It is a vital necessity of our existence. It forms the quality of the light within which we predicate our hopes and dreams toward survival and change, first made into language, then into idea, then into more tangible action.”

Audre Lorde, “Poetry is Not a Luxury”

Poetry is not escapism, for me as I approach it here. It is a tool we use in the world to help us create our world.

I used Lucille Clifton’s poem “What the Mirror Said” as the model text. After reading it, try the following writing prompt:

  1. Think of a difficult situation you’ve experienced, past or present, deep or not.
  2. Think of yourself in that situation and brainstorm possible metaphors for who you are/were in that situation. Who or what are you in that difficult situation?
  3. Choose a metaphor and stick with it. Extend it into a poem.

My Example:

You’re a notebook woman. You’ve got reams of potential, so much to say. You are the author of your own life. They try to shut you, close you, rip out your insides, tear you down your spine, burn your substance to ashes. But you a notebook, woman, and there will always be another page.

After you give the prompt a try, send me a message and let me know how it goes!

Homework: Give another try at using poetry to reflect on difficult situations.

Affirmation: You are somebody. You are worthy. You are valuable.

Sincerely, Sarah.

Watch & Listen:

Subscribe on YouTube to see more videos.

The Power of Metaphors

power of metaphors

The original live stream aired in April, which is National Poetry Month (and National Poetry Writing Month, NaPoWriMo). So I shifted my focus from the previous two weeks of practical grammar lessons to a more poetic focus on the power of metaphors.

Metaphor is essentially just referring to one thing as something else that is comparable. Some common examples from everyday speech are wave of emotions, get off your high horse, bag of tricks, and I hit rock bottom. In fact, even people who claim to not be “good at poetry” or poetic people, actually use metaphors all the time. Metaphor is deeply engrained in our everyday language.

The Power of Metaphors and Colorism

As such, metaphors greatly influence how and what we think about things, including people. That’s the connection to colorism. Metaphors, how we describe and talk about things, reflect and influence our attitudes and beliefs and feelings about those things. A classic example of this is how we describe things at are dark, brown, or black. That’s why I love using my passion for language and writing to address the issue of colorism.

Writing Prompt: Describe what you see. Pick a person, place, or thing and describe it in three ways: as objectively as you can, as if you are in love with it, and as if you are afraid or suspicious.

Homework: Pay attention to how you’re using language and consider what effect it might have.

Affirmation: You are creative. You have the power to create.

Watch and Listen:

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Gratitude Statements and Grammar Lessons

gratitude statements

In my second LIVE Wednesday Writing Workshop (streamed on Facebook and Instagram), I responded to viewer requests to discuss semicolons and dashes. But I delivered that grammar lesson via a session on gratitude. We wrote gratitude statements as a way to practice using semicolons and appositives.

This second live writing workshopped build off the first in which we wrote affirmations as a way to practice writing grammatically correct sentences.

These workshops were also both based on activities in the Kaleidoscope workbook, which was originally created for elementary school children, but I adapted it just fine for the adults of varying ages who tuned in and participated in these live writing workshop sessions.

It has been a deeply rooted philosophy of mine since I started teaching high school English courses that we can more readily build self-esteem and improve literacy if we combine those two initiatives into the same experience. This is one of the things I believe in most and that is a central pillar of my pedagogy even today as a university professor.

Gratitude Statements During a Pandemic?

This session was especially important because it was early in the COVID-19 quarantine, stay at home, social distancing orders. We had to really be more proactive than normal about focusing on what we’re grateful for.

Within all of the positivity, spiritual, self-help content I constantly immerse myself in, I learned that it is often when we are the least motivated to think positively, that positive thinking makes the biggest difference in our mood, behavior, and life!

So during this time when it was so easy to get bogged down with fear and negative thinking and grief, this workshop was much needed.

Homework: If you haven’t already, start a Gratitude Journal! You can fill it with infinite phrases that begin with:

  • I am grateful for ___.
  • I am grateful that ___.
  • I am grateful to ___.
  • I am thankful for ___.

Affirmation: You are worthy of good things.

Watch & Listen:

Podcast available on Spotify, iTunes, and more
Subscribe on YouTube to see more videos.

About the Body- 5 Favorite Self Care Practices

self care practices for the body

Self care covers a range of areas. Although my usual focus is on the inner work, in this post, I focus on the body and what I enjoy the most in caring for mine.

5. Moisturizing

A major part of Colorism Healing is loving the skin we’re in. And hair, too.

One practical way I like to love my skin and hair is to find pleasure in moisturizing them.

There’s a lot in the pampering and cosmetics industry that I don’t spend money on, but I am happy to splurge on lotions, oils, conditioners, and prescriptions (since I have seborrheic dermatitis). This has become especially important since I moved to the colder, dryer, windier climate of the Midwest, which is tough on skin.

But moisturizing is also significant for the the physical touch required to apply the moisturizer. That’s were the tenderness comes in. Making the time to caress my own skin with a loving hand is healing. It sends positive energy and implicit messages to my body that she is loved, cared for, seen, and significant.

4. Aroma Therapy

For me, aroma therapy is anything that smells great. I often use the above practice of moisturizing as a favorite form of aroma therapy by buying scented oils and lotions. But it definitely goes beyond the Bath and Body Works Black Cherry Merlot body cream.

I use candles every day at home and wall plugins at work. In the past, I’ve periodically used wax melts, diffusers, incense, air fresheners, Febreze, carpet powder… I like when things smell good.

And it’s not just about the pleasure of pleasant smells. Certain fragrances can also help us sleep, relax, concentrate, reduce anxiety, etc. As a form of bodily self care, aroma therapy helps bring me back to the present moment, make me mindful of my body, add a small spark of joy to me day, and often makes me smile.

3. Hydration

The one healthy dieting practice I have been able to consistently stick with is drinking lots of water. That’s about 90% of what I drink, and most days it’s 100%. It helps that I simply like the taste and feel of (most) room temperature tap water. It’s good for my health and finances and cuts down on plastic bottle waste. When I moved to Illinois, my kitchen water tasted horrible, so I did have to invest in a filter.

I started by drinking a (reusable) bottle of water right after waking up and right before going to bed. I then added water to every meal, even if I also drink non-water during that meal.

Eventually, I just stopped craving sodas and juices.

I still drink coffee, tea, and hot chocolate as a treat when I’m at Starbucks or other cafes. And I occasionally go for non-water at special occasions and gatherings, but even that’s rare.

2. Sleep/Rest

You’re probably not surprised to see this on the list. This is a big one for me because I’m anemic (and probably have other bad habits or medical traits that contribute to fatigue).

I used to beat myself up about how much I slept and my long afternoon naps. I was slipping into self-loathing because I saw myself as lazy. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t “motivated” to do more (more work and more of other things but especially more work).

Then I got blood work done and was diagnosed with severe anemia. So it’s been iron pills and foods with high iron content ever since.

Regardless of the anemia, I have learned to accept my need for sleep, whatever the underlying reason. Partly because I became aware of the importance of sleep. It’s like the lead domino when it comes to wellbeing and productivity. I even learned from a doc on TikTok that you’ll die from lack of sleep sooner than you would from a lack of food. (Ikr)

But I’ve also just learned to accept how my body feels and not judge how I’m feeling or fight against it. My new perspective, when I wish to be working instead of sleeping, is that getting sleep when I’m sleepy will allow me to do more and better work later.

1. Movement!

I specifically did not use the word exercise. I love exercise, especially running, but bodily self care is about all types of movement.

Dance is by far my favorite form of movement. I’ve had a reputation for dancing for years now. Like that year in college when random strangers told me they’d heard I was a good dancer. I’m not a So You Think You Can Dance “good” dancer, but I do got rhythm, though 😉

I also have to focus on movement because my vocation as a writer and educator is most often sedentary work. Therefore, I try to be aware of how long I’ve been sitting so I can stand, walk, stretch, or dance approximately every hour. Sometimes I set timers or time limits for bouts of work, but usually I just practice being aware of my body and whether or not it feels like moving (which sometimes coincides with my own waning will power to work).

As I get older, the law of inertia becomes more and more evident: bodies in motion tend to stay in motion … bodies at rest tend to stay at rest ….

One of the main reasons I’m prioritizing movement now is so that I have healthy mobility later.

BONUS Self Care: Dietary Decisions

This did not make the top 5 because I’m far less consistent and disciplined with my dietary habits, but it’s an honorable mention because I still aspire to healthier habits in this area of my life. It’s hard for me because I have not discovered the joys of cooking, so I go for foods that require no cooking or minimal prep. When I do use the stove or oven, I prefer meals with the fewest steps and ingredients.

WRITING PROMPT:

What are you favorite self care practices for the body? Why do you enjoy them? Are there any practices you are looking to include in your daily routines?

Listen and Watch:

Podcast available on Spotify, iTunes, and more
Subscribe to the YouTube Channel to see more videos.

Journaling and Introspection- WWW.002

journaling and introspection

This week’s episode of The Word Wise Webb is inspired by a recent situation in my personal life. I believe I need to understand the lessons that difficult situations are meant to teach me. To do this, I turned to the tried and true practice of journaling.

Writing Tip: Journaling

Journaling is a form of writing that is meant for your eyes only. Rather that striving to communicate with others, journaling is a practice of communicating with yourself. Though you may think to yourself all the time, there are lots of reasons to also write to yourself, even if only periodically.

Writing is a useful tool for thinking because our “working memory” (how much content we can actually keep in our head all at once) is limited. Writing compensates for the limits of working memory by recording thoughts so we can refer to them again later.

Writing also helps to make our thoughts and feelings concrete. The act of articulating my experiences, thoughts, and feelings on paper brings more to my conscious awareness. I often find that as I continue writing, more information comes out. I start to remember additional details. I begin reaching conclusions and articulating truths that feel like epiphanies. Putting all my thoughts and feelings out on the page in front of me helps me see a bigger picture, make connections, and gain clarity on my condition.

I also think about journaling as a form of self-therapy. Just like talking to someone else about your struggles can often help, even just as catharsis or release, journaling can have a similar effect. And it’s convenient, free, and always available (often not the case with talking to other people).

If you’re considering giving journal a try (or another try), it might help to not pressure yourself to do it consistently or regularly. While I try to journal daily or more, there’s no reason you can’t just use journaling as needed. Journaling can be used like a flashlight–an enlightening tool that you pull out when you’re trying to find your way through the dark.

The Weekly Word: Introspection

Since you can easily look up standard definitions of the weekly words, I want to proceed by providing my own explanations and discussions of the Weekly Words.

I’ve identified myself as an introspective person from the moment I learned the definition at some point in my younger years. I think of introspection as:

The act of studying yourself, particularly your behavior, feelings, attitudes, and thoughts/way of thinking. Looking inward.

SLW

I practice introspection when trying to understand what a difficult situation might teach me about myself.

Journaling is a great pathway to introspection.

Listen and Watch

Podcast available on Spotify, iTunes, and more
Subscribe to the YouTube channel to see more videos.

You Find What You’re Looking For

You find what you’re actually looking for.

Many of us, myself included, would complain that we just can’t seem to find what we’re looking for.

After a recent reminder of “You find what you’re looking for,” it occurred to me that if you say you’re looking for opportunities but you just can’t find any, then maybe it’s because you’re not actually looking for opportunities like you think you are.

Perhaps what you’re actually looking for is excuses, rejection, the thrill of the chase, or an entirely different category of opportunities.

I hear my inner skeptic asking: But why would anyone be looking for rejection?

What I’ve learned through lots of exposure to psychological principals is that we often look for and accept what we think we deserve. Not what we say we deserve, but what we actually believe we deserve when no one is looking. Or what we believe is actually achievable or available or realistic, etc.

If the thing we’re searching for continues to elude us, it’s worth reevaluating whether we’re actually looking for what we think we’re looking for. It’s worth asking if we truly believe we are worthy and deserving of said thing. It’s worth asking if we’re just pretending to search for something because it’s what someone else said we should seek.

What are you looking for?

Sincerely,

Sarah

30 Writing Prompts on Colorism

Since I’m a writer, and a writing professor, and I host the Colorism Healing Writing Contest, I thought I’d offer some writing inspiration for those interested in the contest or simply exploring the topic for themselves. I’ve created 30 writing prompts to get you through a month-ish of writing.

Watch, Listen, or Read More Below

Whether or not you choose to share your writing or enter the contest, I believe these writing exercises can be productive by merely engaging with them.

I’ve been leading several in-person writing workshops lately. Seeing the effect of engaging in reflective writing as a tool for contemplating colorism inspired me to offer this practice to my comrades near and far. Online community, this is for you!

Please enjoy these 30 prompts to help you explore colorism! Let me know which ones you like best.

List of Writing Prompts:

1- If my skin could speak for itself . . .

2- I remember . . .

3- Respond to the song “Four Women” by Nina Simone:

“Four Women” Lyrics

My skin is black
My arms are long
My hair is woolly
My back is strong
Strong enough to take the pain
inflicted again and again
What do they call me
My name is AUNT SARAH
My name is Aunt Sarah

My skin is yellow
My hair is long
Between two worlds
I do belong
My father was rich and white
He forced my mother late one night
What do they call me
My name is SAFFRONIA
My name is Saffronia

My skin is tan
My hair is fine
My hips invite you
my mouth like wine
Whose little girl am I?
Anyone who has money to buy
What do they call me
My name is SWEET THING
My name is Sweet Thing

My skin is brown
my manner is tough
I’ll kill the first mother I see
my life has been too rough
I’m awfully bitter these days
because my parents were slaves
What do they call me
My name is PEACHES

4- Many black magazines during the early & mid 1900s featured bleaching cream ads like this one. Write a “Letter to the Editor” of one of these magazines responding to the presence of this ad.

5- Consider all of your features. Colorism often influences our attitudes about hair texture, eye color, and the size and shape of noses and lips.

6- Respond to the following quote by Malcolm X: “It’s imagery. They use their ability to create images, and then they use these images that they’ve created to mislead the people. Those who oppress know that you can’t make a person hate the root without making them hate the tree. And since we all originated in Africa, you can’t make us hate Africa without making us hate ourselves. And they did this very skillfully. And what was the result? They ended up with 22 million Black people here in America who hated everything about us that was African. We hated the African characteristics. We hated our hair. We hated our nose, the shape of our nose, and the shape of our lips, the color of our skin.”

7- Dear past/future self . . .

8- What _____ taught me about complexion . . . (or hair or facial features)

9- PROBLEM: Colorism. SOLUTION: ? ? ?

10- Write an analysis of this magazine cover. What messages are implied by this combination of words and images? Why is the fact that this cover was published in 1966 a significant detail? What was happening in the U.S. or the world at this time? What does it mean that this cover was published by Ebony magazine?

11- Respond to the song “Cloud 9” by Donnie:

“Cloud 9” Lyrics

We live from the head down and not the feet up
And I’m adorned with the crown that’s making this up
And I’m fine…fine…under Cloud 9
Yes I wear the lamb’s wool, the feet of burned brass
And the wool defies gravity like the nature of a gas
And I’m fine…fine…under Cloud 9

Twist my cloud and it rains
And when it rains, oh it pours
And the energy will absorb
Power for the metaphysical one

Happy to be nappy, I’m black and I’m proud
That I have been chosen to wear the conscious cloud
And I’m fine…fine…under Cloud 9
I be a chameleon and wear it bone straight
But it’s so much stronger when it’s in its natural state
And I’m fine…fine…under Cloud 9

We live from the head down and not the feet up
And I’m adorned with the crown that’s making this up
And I’m fine…fine, I’m so fine…under Cloud 9

Twist my cloud and it rains
And when it rains, oh it pours
Twist it and it rains
And when it rains, oh it pours
Twist my cloud and it rains
When it rains, oh it pours
Twist my cloud and it rains
Twist it…twist it, twist it
Twist it, a-hey…a-hey…yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah…yeah
Twist my cloud and it rains
Twist it and it rains

Don’t you let…them tell you
Tell you…you ca-a-an’t
You…ca-a-an’t

Don’t you…let them
Tell you…that you
You’re ugly
Or you’re not…
Who you’re not…
You don’t…fit in
But be proud of your Cloud, yeah
Be proud of your Cloud

12- Use the poem “Contrast” by Marielle R. Medina to inspire your own piece of writing about how two people experience the world differently based on how they look.

13- Dear . . . Write a letter to someone from your past who played an important role in your experiences with colorism, whether an ally or an antagonist or a complicated mix of both.

14- Art History Contemplation: Describe what you see in the painting “Free Women of Color With their Children and Servants” by Agostino Brunias c. late 1700s. What historical reality is it depicting? Why do historical artifacts like this one matter when addressing colorism? How do you think this aspect of history influences present day issues of colorism?

15- Where is my privilege? Yes, it exists. We ALL have it. Some more than others. No matter your skin tone, reflect on the ways your complexion and/or other aspects of your physical appearance, ethnicity, or cultural background benefit you.

16- Respond to this quote by Bill Duke (creator of Dark Girls): “What it comes down to is pain that is deeply held by children, and they don’t discuss it because they feel they’re going to be ridiculed by discussing it. So, we’re giving a voice to that discussion. The reason we think that dialogue is important is because it’s the beginning of healing. If you hold things and you don’t discuss it, it does bad things to the human body, psyche, everything.” Write About: pain you’ve experienced as a child, pain you witness in other children, the fear of speaking about colorism, the demand for silence around colorism, breaking the silence around colorism.

17- Write a response to the following research studies:

Matthew S. Harrison & Kecia M. Thomas (2009): “The findings suggest that skin tone plays a considerable role in the favorability of a Black applicant; indicating that skin color is more salient and regarded more highly than one’s educational background and prior work experience.”

Kimberly Kahn and Paul Davies (2010): “confirmed that high stereotypical (HS) Black targets (i.e., those with darker skin, broader noses and fuller lips) elicited stronger implicit bias in split-second “shoot/don’t shoot” situations than low stereotypical (LS) Black targets or White targets. The implications for policing are discussed.”

Viglione, J., Hannon, L., & DeFina, R. (2011): found that in North Carolina between 1995 and 2009, light skinned black women received more lenient prison sentences and served less time in jail.

Hannon, L., DeFina, R., & Bruch, S (2013): reported that very dark-skinned black girls are 3x more likely to be suspended from school than very light-skinned black girls, and for boys and girls alike, darker skin correlates with higher suspension rates.

18- Whether it’s sunny or rainy, GO OUT and FEEL NATURE on your SKIN. Then Write About: Joy. Peace. Love. Happiness. Confidence. Passion. Awe.

19- Know that it is okay to talk about and write about: Hurt. Sadness. Pain. Anger. Mourning. Loss. Fear. Loneliness. Shame. You are not “weak” because you feel these things. You are simply HUMAN. Facing these emotions and addressing them directly is actually a sign of STRENGTH, COURAGE, and BRAVERY, not a sign of weakness.

20- Accept and Honor the Process. My analogy for the healing process is a SPIRAL STAIRCASE. It can seem like we’re going in circles. But each time we come back around we are able to view our situation from a higher plane, a higher state of consciousness. And healing requires effort and persistence, right? Rarely is it ever achieved in a single leap. Also, it’s okay to rest, take breaks, slow down, pace yourself, or even sprint if you have a boost. So, yeah. Write about your healing process. Accept and honor wherever you are, wherever you’ve been, wherever you intend to go. (p.s. embrace the writing process too!)

21- Celebrate Growth and Progress! Write an ODE to your GROWTH.

22- What’s your hair story?

23- I’ve never said this to anyone before, but . . .

24- How have I been part of the problem and/or the solution?

25- Keep Writing: Take the last line or sentence (or any line/phrase) from something you’ve previously written, and make it the first line of a new piece of writing.

26- ReVision: Take an existing piece of your writing and cut 30% of it. (p.s. I know that’s scary! But you can save the original draft just in case 😉

27- SHARE! Let someone else read your writing. Ask for feedback about the content or the craft. Or not.

28- PERFORM! Read your writing OUT LOUD to yourself or to others. See how it feels. See what you learn about your writing.

29- What would you say to yourself about colorism if you only had 30 seconds?

30- SUBMIT YOUR WRITING to the 2018 Colorism Healing Writing Contest! You might decide that entering a contest is not for you. However, if you’re hesitating out of fear or shyness or self-doubt, I challenge you to practice a little courage today. Be brave. Take a risk. You will survive. And practicing the skill of courage is the best way to thrive!

(Another) Colorism Healing Sister Interview

In this latest video from the Colorism Healing YouTube channel, I paid a visit to the University of Mississippi’s Tupelo campus to interview my older sister, Dr. Jandel Crutchfield, about colorism as it relates to family, motherhood and parenting, social work, and education.

“…really using your light skin privilege, your voice, to be able to do what research can’t necessarily do. But what you can do in a family may touch a lot more people than research can.” —Dr. Jandel Crutchfield

What are your sibling experiences with colorism?? Share in the comments below.

An Open Letter to Gabby Douglas

Dear Gabby,

When I was a young girl, I wanted to be just like you! Yes, I’m about a decade older than you, but seeing you win gold and make history at the London Olympics in 2012 brought me back to my childhood days of obsession with the Magnificent 7 (Dominque Dawes in particular). You possessed talents I could only pretend to have (embarrassingly enough, as my older sister will attest). The fact that at such a young age you overcame racism, loneliness, and separation from your family on top of the intense training required of gold medalists made you one of my all-time personal heroes.

I anticipated your 2016 return to the Olympics in Rio and watched with pride, excitement, and joy as you performed and stood atop the medal stand a gold medalist once again. Your presence on the world stage is a valuable mirror for so many young girls, including my younger girl self, who too rarely see themselves reflected as champions, brilliant and beautiful.

That is why I am heartbroken and angry that you have to experience such hatred and negativity from other people. Gabby, I want you to know that their hatred is not about you. Though it’s directed at you for the moment, it actually has nothing to do with you. Because your position as a world-class gymnast at the Olympics makes you highly visible to the public eye, you are an easy target for public scrutiny. But again, that scrutiny in no way reveals any truths about you, Gabby Douglas.

The people pushing hurtful things in your direction are trapped in an old, destructive tradition of hostility toward black girls and black women who dare to leap and fly into their own destinies rather than fearfully cower in the decrepit boxes society has labeled for them. Society fights ruthlessly to control and dictate your existence. So when you don’t place your right hand where they believe it should go, or when you don’t smile when they think you should be smiling, or when your appearance contradicts their idea of what’s attractive and acceptable, they unleash a verbal lashing meant to beat your spirit into submission.

And I will be honest here, since I think you deserve nothing less: Although all black girls are susceptible to racist attacks, not every black girl will be advised to get a nose job or be ostracized because of her hair or be perceived as grumpy and “jealous” (some of us are all to familiar with that label). Colorism is often an unacknowledged aspect of how we treat women of color, but one has to wonder why other black athletes haven’t received the kind of hurtful criticism you’ve had to endure, why some fans just love Simone Biles and Laurie Hernandez but can’t feel enthusiastic about you. The cruel rejection of nose, hair, lips, and other racialized features predates social media, predates the modern Olympics and the sport of gymnastics. This tradition of degrading the natural features of certain black women is so embedded in our society that many black people, as you have seen, also partake in the antagonism. Because if they can’t be free then neither can you.

I am not writing this letter to give you the empty, dismissive, and clichéd advice to “just love yourself and don’t worry about what others think!” I would not give you that advice if you were being physically attacked, and I don’t think it’s particularly useful for the sort of spiritual attacks you’ve experienced. If you were being physically bullied, I’d encourage you to build up your strength, to develop your fighting skills, to up your street smarts, to arm yourself, to surround yourself with people who’ve got your back. You can do this in spiritual warfare as well. It may take time to develop these resources, and even when you do there will still be battles that leave you in tears, scarred and bruised. But I believe you will be victorious. After all, you’ve already demonstrated your resourcefulness, tenacity, determination, and resilience as a legendary Olympic gymnast.

Gabby, I don’t know if this letter will mean anything to you. I know that criticism is often stickier than praise. And anyway, who am I to you? Nonetheless, I leave you with this: You are gorgeous! Your features are stunning. Your hair is pretty. You’re one of my favorite gymnasts of all time! You make me extremely proud. You are valuable and worthy beyond gymnastics just because you exist. You are a shining representation of greatness, not just for your country but the entire world.

Sincerely, Sarah.

Show Me How to Be Courageous: Angela’s Legacy

The struggle would be difficult, but there was already a hint of victory. In the heavy silence of the jail, I discovered that if I concentrated hard enough, I could hear echoes of slogans being chanted on the other side of the walls. ‘Free Angela Davis.’ ‘Free All Political Prisoners.’ -Angela Davis: An Autobiography, 1974

April 5 is the debut of the documentary film Free Angela and All Political Prisoners.

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty excited that the world can once again be inspired by Angela Davis’s courageous story.

Those who were alive in the 70’s may have forgotten. Those of us who weren’t alive at the time may have have never known.

Indeed, we’ve done a poor job of retelling Angela’s story in our ongoing distribution of American history.

She rarely gets more than a blip in a montage, as if merely showing her face, fro, and fist is enough to convey the gist of her legendary life.

Too many of us, however, aren’t clear about the story beyond these images.

For me, of course, the most resonant theme in her story is courage.

Outside in the open, entangled in my grief and anger was also fear. A plain and simple fear so overwhelming, and so elemental that the only thing I could compare it to was that sense of engulfment I used to feel as a child when I was left alone in the dark. . . . Images of attack kept flashing into my mind, but they were not abstract–they were clear pictures of machine guns breaking out of the darkness, surrounding Helen and me, unleashing fire . . . -AD

Though most of us will never be one of America’s most wanted, Angela’s story can teach us all how to be courageous.

In fact, there’d be no documentary, no story to tell, had Angela not lived courageously in her everyday life, long before the criminal charges or the ensuing manhunt and trial.

One thing I hope Free Angela reveals is that while Angela Davis’s imprisonment and trial is perhaps the more sensational and infamous part of her story, all along, every day of her life, then and now, Angela is a role model for having the courage to think, speak, act, and be revolutionary.

The Courage to Think

I’ve seen the fear in my students . . . the fear of pursuing an education, the fear that it’s not meant for them, not part of their inheritance.

Then there’s the fear of the responsibility that comes with learning.

The fear of what truths may be uncovered if we allow ourselves to follow a thought process through its entire cycle.

As a student and professor of philosophy, Angela Davis embraced the power of thinking . . . of not only learning the thoughts of others, but in having new and original thoughts of one’s own.

She not only had the courage to hold and mold deep thoughts in her mind, she also had the courage to spread them.

The Courage to Speak

We keep silent for fear of exposing our true thoughts.

We keep silent because others have told us we should, told us to keep our thoughts to ourselves.

We’re wordless because we think our words are worthless.

Angela’s example shows us that our words are sometimes the greatest gift we can give to the world, and that we should say what needs to be said even as others try to silence us.

She shows us that words can save souls, save lives, and stoke revolutionary fires.

The Courage to Act

Nothing in the world made me angrier than inaction, than silence. The refusal or inability to do something, say something when a thing needed doing or saying, was unbearable. The watchers, the head shakers, the back turners made my skin prickle. -AD

Organizing, voting, rallying, marching, visiting, feeding, housing, leading . . .

Some of the greatest words are action verbs.

The beautiful thing about Angela is that she lived among the people, not segregated within her words or intellectual world.

She was a physical presence in the struggle for freedom and justice for all.

She gave her life:

For me revolution was never an interim ‘thing to do’ before settling down; it was no fashionable club with newly minted jargon, or new kind of social life–made thrilling by risk and confrontation, made glamorous by costume. Revolution is a serious thing, the most serious thing about a revolutionary’s life. When one commits oneself to the struggle, it must be for a lifetime. -AD

The Courage to Be

Angela thought, spoke, and acted while being a black women in a world that says blacks can’t think, that women shouldn’t speak, and that any actions by either group to take control of their lives is an automatic threat to society.

She was proud to be black, and she was empowered in her womanhood even in a society that overtly tried to suppress black pride and women’s empowerment.

That’s revolutionary.

By merely being herself, Angela Davis shows us how to be courageous.

Colorism Quotes

zora neale hurston viola davis malcolm x oprah alice walker colorism quotes and more curated by sarah webb of colorism healing

Why compile a list of colorism quotes? The official answer is that a collection of quotations helps fulfill the CH mission to raise awareness and provide a hub of information and resources about colorism.

Other equally valid and true reasons: People like quotes! Because sometimes I just don’t know what to write. Sometimes I get tired of my own voice and just want to soak up what others have said. Sometimes I feel like people aren’t hearing me, but they might be able to hear someone else.

Full disclosure: This is by no means a comprehensive list of quotes. I selected quotations that I tend to agree with and that are by people much more famous than me. Not because these are the only words that matter, but simply because I had to find some way to limit the scope of this thing and because people like reading what famous people have to say.

If you’re looking for a speaker or facilitator for your next colorism event, learn about Dr. Sarah Webb’s colorism keynotes and workshops.

dr. sarah webb speaking at a podium holding a microphone with one arm extended during during her keynote speech for women's history month at the university of the pacific 2023. she's wearing a black turtleneck, multicolored skirt, and bold jewelry

Colorism Quotes by People More Famous Than Me

Tatyana Ali, Quotes from HelloBeautiful, 2014

“It doesn’t just exist in Hollywood. I think it exists in society and to be quite honest, I don’t know how much it exists in the larger society, but it definitely exists in the Black community. There are obvious historical reasons for that. The closer we were to White, the more freedom we thought we could have or the more acceptability. Beauty was defined as White and the farther away you get from that White-blond-hair-blue-eye definition of beauty, the uglier you are. The closer you get to it, the more beautiful you are and that’s what we’ve been doing amongst ourselves for a very long time.

“Look, I can’t pass a paper bag test. I’m definitely darker than a paper bag and I have ‘good hair’ and that’s just me being in a different category and a different light. I know that me and my sisters were separated by our cousins by older relatives who would make these weird comments and then not mention the beauty of the other child that’s sitting right there and playing the same game.

“There’s a separation that’s made among sisters and we end up looking at each other funny, not realizing and thinking ‘she has it so good’ and the other one thinks, ‘I feel like an outcast, she has it so good’ and not realizing that we’re both missing out on each other. My experience in Hollywood is different. When Chris Rock did Good Hair, I was like ‘Why didn’t he talk to me? He didn’t get the full story.’ He didn’t get the full story because, for example, it’s about identity, it’s about belonging.

“It’s not just, in addition to what’s beautiful and what’s not. It’s also what’s acceptable. ‘Where do I fit?’ ‘Who do you think I am based on what I look like?’ For me, when I was younger, I remember my mom, because of my hair, my mom would braid my hair at night before auditions in small braids to make my hair thicker so that there wouldn’t be a question of ‘Oh, is she Black enough?’

“What’s harmful about it is the idea of separation and the idea of not belonging and not being loved and each one of us feels it in a different way because no matter what’s being said about all of us, whether lighter is better or darker is better or being able to twist your hair is better than having straight hair. We all experience pain because of it. The bottom line is we’re all being measured by a standard of beauty that has nothing to do with who we are and where we come from.”

India Arie, Colorism Quotes from Songversation: I Am Light: My Thoughts on the Skin Bleaching Allegations, 2015

“It’s all based on Eurocentric beauty ideals: For example;  Straight, blonde hair, blue eyes, aquiline nose, thin limbs, lighter skin…. for many this is just considered ‘beauty.’ Why?  Because eurocentric aesthetics are seen as the standard, and therefore are more palatable and desirable by the world as a whole.  The entertainment industries are no exception, they SELL this desire to the world.  MOST  publications lighten darker people,  because lighter skin and hair reflect more light and are more eye catching, magazines are after all a business. BUT! For example:  Where ARE the cameras that make brown skin look amazing? Oprah has them I can tell you that! LoL!  But in general, lights and cameras are ALWAYS  tuned for lighter complexions.  This is what institutionalized racism looks like. So, for musicians and actresses in the public eye, you are not just  selling your talent, you are actually selling yourself.  YOU become a product.  The less your product fits into conventional beauty ideals, the less MARKETABLE, and therefore, less safe of an investment you are.”

David Banner, Quotes from “An Intimate Conversation With David Banner On The State Of Black Love & Marriage” on xoNecole, 2015

“This song is for [all] Black women, but it’s especially for the dark-skinned black women,” says Banner. “If you look at our culture, our women don’t feel protected. They don’t feel wanted. You look at most of who so-called people of success cater to—nine times out of 10 it may not be a Black woman at all. And if it is, it’s definitely not ones that look like our cousins or our great-grandmothers. And I said man, if nobody in the world says that they love them and that they respect them and that they want them, it’ll be me.”

Tom Burrell, Colorism Quotes from “Uglified: Why are Black and Beautiful Still Contradictions?” in Brainwashed: Challenging the Myth of Black Inferiority, 2010

“The further we are from the European standard, the lower we find ourselves on the beauty scale….

“We are better if we are lighter. We want our children to be pretty because we know beauty will grant them an easier life in a color-coded society. Most of us don’t want to be reminded of our past, our ancestors, and where we come from. Many of us boast of having a little Indian, Irish, Italian—any additional blood in our lineage boosts our value. We find ourselves using a sliding racial scale, somewhere between black and white, with lighter or whiter always, always defined as better….

“For most of our history in the New World, we openly coveted light skin and straight hair. Today, the pinnacles of black female beauty remain almost white-looking. It is disturbingly telling that the long weave seems to be a prerequisite for black singers, actors, and models. Hip Hop videos feature light-skinned black, Latino, or Asian women—to the exclusion of darker-skinned black dancers….

“The ‘color-struck’ class war played out in black families, neighborhoods, social clubs, churches, colleges, fraternal organizations, and nearly every conceivable part of our culture. As the stigma progressed, class stratification within the black community became based, to a large degree, on the presence or absence of black features. It is a profound irony that the attractiveness rating was enhanced by the whiteness of hair, skin color, and facial features.

“Sadly, that rating system continues today….

“We can ‘go along to get along’ with dominant society’s dictates or we can start the analytical process by weighing the costs and benefits of our thoughts and actions….

“Centuries of propaganda created the perceptual aesthetic deficit. We will need powerful weapons to dis-enslave and reprogram how we see ourselves. To wage a winnable war, both internally and externally, we will need the proper ammunition.”

Ta-Nehisi Coates, Colorism Quote from “Dark Girls” in The Atlantic, 2011

“For me it’s a matter of what I thought when I was a kid. There’s an anecdote in the book where I foolishly tell one of my mother’s friends “I like light-skin girls.” My mother, who is lighter than me, read me the riot act in such a way that it sticks with me to this day.

Michaela Angela Davis, Quote from Who is Black in America Panel on Starting Point with Soledad O’Brien, 2012

“Acting Like it doesn’t exist doesn’t heal. . . . America as a family, this is our taboo issue that brings up so much. It triggers a lot of black girl pain. It triggers a lot of secrets. It triggers a lot of bias. It triggers a lot of emotional things. And like any family, when we go into our history and say this horrible thing created this characteristic, people don’t want to look at it. But this is the road to healing, right. This is the only way we’re going to feel whole: is we talk about where we’re fractured.

“This is it. Having this conversation, this is the solution.”

Viola Davis, Colorism Quotes from “Viola Davis Defies Hollywood Stereotypes as She Keeps It Real,” The Wrap, 2015

“That being said, when you do see a woman of color onscreen, the paper-bag test is still very much alive and kicking. That’s the whole racial aspect of colorism: If you are darker than a paper bag, then you are not sexy, you are not a woman, you shouldn’t be in the realm of anything that men should desire. And in the history of television and even in film, I’ve never seen a character like Annalise Keating played by someone who looks like me. My age, my hue, my sex. She is a woman who absolutely culminates the full spectrum of humanity our askew sexuality, our askew maternal instincts. She’s all of that, and she’s a dark-skin black woman. Some people who watch TV have acknowledged that and understand that. But I encourage you to search your memory and think of anyone who’s done this. It just hasn’t happened. I hear these stories from friends of mine who are dark-skin actresses who are always being seen as crack addicts and prostitutes.”

Bill Duke, Colorism Quotes from “Bill Duke Talks Dark Girls And Colorism” on WOLDCNews, 2012

“What we’re finding more and more is that sometimes it’s not a conscious effort to hurt anybody. But what it comes down to is pain that is deeply held by children, and they don’t discuss it because they feel they’re going to be ridiculed by discussing it. So, we’re giving a voice to that discussion.

“The reason we think that dialogue is important is because it’s the beginning of healing. If you hold things and you don’t discuss it, it does bad things to the human body, psyche, everything.

“All women are dark girls, because whatever standard is set, you’re never going to meet it. And as soon as you get close, they say ‘Oops! We’ve changed it. But we love you so much, we’re gonna help you get to the new standard. Here’s some new products.

“How you were born is fine. Whoever says that it’s not is one of two things: a liar or a business person. It’s that simple.”

Zora Neale Hurston, Colorism Quotes from “My People! My People!” in Dust Tracks on a Road, 1942

zora neale hurston quotes about colorism

“I found the Negro, and always the blackest Negro, being made the butt of all jokes, particularly black women. …

“If it was so honorable and glorious to be black, why was it the yellow-skinned people among us had so much prestige? Even a child in the first grade could see that this was so from what happened in the classroom and on school programs. The light-skinned children were always the angels, fairies and queens of school play. The lighter the girl, the more money and prestige she was apt to marry. So on into high school years, I was asking myself questions.”

Trellie Jeffers, as quoted by Alice Walker in In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens, 1983

“What then can be the destiny of a people that pampers and cherishes the blood of the white slaveholder who maimed and degraded their female ancestor? What can be the future of a class of descendants of slaves that implicitly gives slaveholders greater honor than the African women they enslaved? What can be the end of a class that pretends to honor blackness while secretly despising working class black-skinned women whose faces reveal no trace of white blood?”

Karen M. Julkes, RollingOut.com Interview, 2015

“Actually, my inspiration [for becoming a makeup artist] initially came from a place of insecurity. I was teased as a young girl about being dark-skinned and I had a speech impediment. As a teen, I began to play in makeup to feel pretty. I never felt pretty like the other girls, so makeup allowed me to mask the real me. But as I matured, I realized that me being unattractive was very much so a lie. So instead of makeup being a coverup, it became a way for me to be creative. And then in my late 20s, I realized I could use this as way to build up other women that may have dealt with the same challenges as myself. I wanted to make them feel beautiful but talk to them and encourage them to love themselves beyond the makeup!”

Kendrick Lamar, Quotes from Twitter, 2013

“Not Light ‘Vs’ Dark tho. More about ‘BALANCE’ ..Givn every shade of woman life, not just what da industry thinks is ‘Hott’ 4 camera.”

“When u put the term light ‘Vs’ dark continues it as a BATTLE. My point 4 poetic was to spark the idea of making it an EQUAL.”

Naturi Naughton, Quotes VladTV Interview, 2015

“I think there’s always this cycle that happens when you’re a black woman in Hollywood … it can be frustrating because you start to feel like you’re just a fad. Like, now the dark skin, beautiful, brown, chocolate sisters are in. And we’re praising Lupita and all that, which is beautiful, but she was beautiful five years ago. I was the same way three years ago. But it depends on the time. They’ll say, ‘You know what? We’re looking for a black woman but we want something ethnically ambiguous’ is what I have heard. Or, you know, they’re looking for a specific look. And it’s hard because you start to feel like, well wait a minute, what’s wrong with my features, my complexion, my body type? And I just try to tell other black women, not just in Hollywood, just in general, you don’t have to compromise or change yourself to try to fit into whatever mold is popular. That is frustrating. And I’m not even going to lie, it’s emotional. I go through moments when I’m like ‘I can’t take it.’ But at the same time, you know, I’m working, and I’m in a position where I’m able to be a black woman that’s toted as beautiful, and my lips, my features, my body. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

Lupita Nyong’o, Colorism Quotes from Essence Black Women in Hollywood Speech, 2014

“I remember a time when I too felt unbeautiful. . . . I got teased and taunted about my night-shaded skin. And my one prayer to God, the miracle worker, was that I would wake up lighter-skinned. . . . And when I was a teenager my self-hate grew worse, as you can imagine happens with adolescence. …around me the preference for light skin prevailed. To the beholders that I thought mattered, I was still unbeautiful. …

“My mother reminded me often that she thought that I was beautiful, but that was no consolation: She’s my mother, of course she’s supposed to think I am beautiful. …

“And then Alek Wek came on the international scene. A celebrated model, she was dark as night, she was on all of the runways and in every magazine and everyone was talking about how beautiful she was. … a flower couldn’t help but bloom inside of me. When I saw Alek I inadvertently saw a reflection of myself that I could not deny. Now, I had a spring in my step because I felt more seen, more appreciated by the far away gatekeepers of beauty. . . . I could never have guessed that my first job out of school would be so powerful in and of itself and that it would propel me to be such an image of hope in the same way that the women of The Color Purple were to me. …

“And so I hope that my presence on your screens and in the magazines may lead you, young girl, on a similar journey. That you will feel the validation of your external beauty but also get to the deeper business of being beautiful inside. There is no shade in that beauty.”

Soledad O’Brien, Colorism Quotes from Essence Black in America Hangout, 2012

ESSENCE: “How do you think colorism is playing out in 2012?”

O’BRIEN: “It just is. The same way it’s always played out, which is people value certain skin tones differently. It’s inherently apparent. I thought one of the most disturbing things in the documentary was to see a seven year old who really is clearly getting those messages. She’s seven, and she fully understands the messages that are sent to her, and that’s very problematic. I think colorism exists today like it did years ago and generations ago.

“Back to twitter, a lot of the conversations, there was one sort of stream: “Well, Soledad, if you would stop raising this it would go away, and it’s your fault that we keep having these discussions about race and colorism and discrimination.”

“I don’t think that’s the case. I think we are going to confront tough issues and tough conversations that maybe other people don’t want to have.”

ESSENCE: “How do we start to heal? How do we get the seven year olds to start thinking differently and feel acceptable in their skin tone?”

O’BRIEN: “I think the only thing that’s a solution is conversation. I think the only thing that is a solution is pointing out here is a trap you’re falling into that has been set for you, that has been set over history. And let’s go back and take a look at what’s happening in front of you so that you don’t fall into this trap.”

Keke Palmer, Quotes About Colorism from Hollywood Confidential Panel in Los Angeles, 2013

“When I was like 5 years old I used to pray to have light skin because I would always hear how pretty that little light skin girl was, or I would hear I was pretty to be dark skin. It wasn’t until I was 13 that I really learned to appreciate my skin color and know that I was beautiful.”

Kelly Rowland, Quotes About Colorism from Interview on CNikky.com, 2013

“You know what, I had great women in my life to help me overcome that. I remember I went through a period where I didn’t embrace my ‘chocolatiness.’ I don’t know if that’s a word, but I didn’t embrace my chocolate lifestyle. Just being a chocolate, lovely brown skin girl and being proud of that. I remember Tina Knowles, Bey’s mom, and I remember being out in the sun and I was trying to shield myself from the sun and she said, ‘Are you crazy?’ She said ‘You are absolutely gorgeous’ and she just told me how beautiful I was and how rare chocolate is and how gorgeous the skin is, all of this stuff. And I was just like ‘Yeah!’ Like a light went off and so between her and my mother and me sitting out in the sun a little more, just to be a little more chocolate.”

Gabourey Sidibe, Quotes About Colorism from her blog post for Entertainment Weekly, 2015

“Also, yes. I, a plus sized, dark-skinned woman, had a love scene on primetime television. I had the most fun ever filming that scene even though I was nervous. But I felt sexy and beautiful and I felt like I was doing a good job. I’m very proud of the work we all did to make that scene a great opening for the episode. I keep hearing that people are ‘hating’ on it. I’m not sure how anyone could hate on love but that’s okay. You may have your memes. Honestly, I’m at work too busy to check Twitter anyway. #Booked. Hope you enjoy next week’s show!”

Geneva S. Thomas, Quotes About Colorism from ‘Blood, Sweat, and Heels’ Star: ‘I Celebrate my Dark Skin’, Essence.com, 2014

“But to throw shade at our shades (pun intended), is a nadir far too tragic for anyone to make a punch-line.

“After I got past all of my feelings about the comment, I called my father to thank him for how he and my mother worked tirelessly to create an environment that wasn’t merely about acceptance, but a standard, and the expectation that our dark skin was to be unapologetically celebrated. It was an effortless confidence level I carried about as a youth. So much so that even that one time, when my ballet instructor decided it was a good idea to tell 6-year-old me I was pretty for a dark skinned girl, it was the heartiest of chuckles I gave that she couldn’t fathom. . . .

“I’m not so caught up in my own dark-skin party to think all dark skinned Black girls grow up with the kind of love my family gave me. We all know colorism has been an internal issue in our community dating back to slavery; that thing we just don’t talk about, but exercise. Is colorism here to stay? Will it continue to be okay for us to go there with each other?

“Let’s do more than hope not. Let’s make it our business to teach little Black girls that whatever shade they may be, they are to be celebrated.”

Gabrielle Union, Colorism Quote from Ebony Magazine, October 2012

“Your deep Mahogany skin may not resemble that of the others in your family, but it’s just as gorgeous, and you’re just as worthy … One day you’ll appreciate how much your brown skin shines in the moonlight, glistens in the sun and ages ever so slowly.”

Alice Walker, Colorism Quotes from In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens, 1983, excerpts from “If the present looks like the past, what does the future look like?”

book cover for in search of our mother's gardens by alice walker colorism quotes

“We were speaking of the hostility many black black women feel toward light-skinned black women, and you said, ‘Well, I’m light. It’s not my fault. And I’m not going to apologize for it.’ I said apology for one’s color is not what anyone is asking. What black black women would be interested in, I think, is a consciously heightened awareness on the part of light black women that they are capable, and often quite unconsciously, of inflicting pain upon them; and that unless the question of Colorism–in my definition, prejudicial or preferential treatment of same-race people based solely on their color–is addressed in our communities and definitely in our black ‘sisterhoods’ we cannot, as a people, progress. For colorism, like colonialism, sexism, and racism, impedes us. …

“Still, I think there is probably as much difference between the life of a black black woman and a ‘high yellow’ black woman as between a ‘high yellow’ woman and a white woman. And I am worried, constantly, about the hatred the black black woman encounters within black society. To me, the black black woman is our essential mother–the blacker she is the more us she is–and to see the hatred that is turned on her is enough to make me despair, almost entirely, of our future as a people.

“Ironically, much of what I’ve learned about color I’ve learned because I have a mixed-race child. Because she is lighter-skinned, straighter haired than I, her life–in this racist, colorist society–is infinitely easier. And so I understand the subtle programming I, my mother, and my grandmother before me fell victim to. Escape the pain, the ridicule, escape the jokes, the lack of attention, respect, dates, even a job, any way you can. And if you can’t escape, help your children escape. Don’t let them suffer as you have done. And yet, what have we been escaping to? Freedom used to be the only answer to that question. But for some of our parents it is as if freedom and whiteness were the same destination, and that presents a problem for any person of color who does not wish to disappear. …

“… However, the word ‘beautiful’ itself was never used to describe black women in those days. They might be called ‘handsome’ in a pinch. ‘Her skin is black but she is sure nuff pretty,’ someone might have thought, but not sung. Stevie Wonder’s lyrics, though in our time backward in this one instance (‘but’ rather than ‘and’), would have been considered revolutionary in the fifties and early sixties. ‘Beautiful’ was for the white women and black women who look like you. Medium browns like me might evoke ‘good-looking’ or ‘fine.’ A necessary act of liberation within myself was to acknowledge the beauty of black black women, but I was always aware I was swimming against the tide. …

“— I remembered —-, who was asked by the light-skinned girls in our dormitory to move somewhere else, because she was so dark; the men who came to call on them found her blackness ‘inharmonious.’ …

“This essay is for you. … A sister I do not wish to lose to the entreaties of parents or grandparents standing behind you whispering “lighten up’ or ‘darken up’ the race. Nor do I, a dark woman, intend to give you up. When we walk down a street together and those who hate their black mothers admire only you (really your skin color and hair) we will not let this divide us…

“One reason the novels of nineteenth-century black authors abound with white-skinned women characters is that most readers of novels in the nineteenth century were white people: white people who then, as, more often than not, now, could identify human feeling, humanness, only if it came in a white or near-white body. And although black men could be depicted as literally black and still be considered men (since dark is masculine to the Euro-American mind), the black-skinned woman, being dark and female, must perforce be whitened, since ‘fairness’ was and is the standard of Euro-American femininity.

“We must cleave to reality, to what we know, we feel, we think of life. Trusting our own experience our own lives; embracing both the dark self and the light.

“It is our ‘familial’ relations with each other in America that we need to scrutinize. And it is the whole family, rather than the dark or the light, that must be affirmed.”

Jesse Williams, Quote about Colorism from Drum Award Acceptance Speech, 2015

“European beauty standards have given me a better seat at the table and a bigger microphone than my darker brothers and sisters my entire life. That’s not me. I didn’t have anything to do with that. Because I understand the history of white supremacy and the construction of Black civilization, I had to, really had to give these presentations in my living room in my house if I wanted to play sports. That wasn’t me. That’s parenthood.”

Oprah Winfrey, Colorism quote from Henry Louis Gates Jr. in Finding Oprah’s Roots, 2007

“I remember being there, and I instantly knew that Miss Miller did not like me because of the color of my skin. I was too dark and I was a nappy-headed colored child, and Miss Miller would say it. And my half-sister Pat was five years younger than me and she was light skinned and my mother was staying there because Miss Miller loved my half-sister. And I was put out on the porch to sleep. There was a little vestibule, like a porch area where you came in and left your shoes before you went into the house and so that’s where I slept. I wasn’t even allowed in the house to sleep. It makes me sad to think about it. And it was because I was brown skinned and it didn’t compute for me because my mother was brown skinned, too. But I realized she was okay because she had Pat.”

Malcolm X, Quotes About Colorism and Internalized Oppression from “Not Just an American Problem, but a World Problem,” Feb 16, 1965

“It’s imagery. They use their ability to create images, and then they use these images that they’ve created to mislead the people.

“You have to understand it. Until 1959 the image of the African continent was created by the enemies of Africa. As these Europeans dominated the continent of Africa, it was they who created the image of Africa that was projected abroad. And they projected Africa and the people of Africa in a negative image, a hateful image. They made us think that Africa was a land of jungles, a land of animals, a land of cannibals and savages. It was a hateful image.

“And because they were so successful in projecting this negative image of Africa, those of us here in the West of African ancestry, the Afro-American, we looked upon Africa as a hateful place. We looked upon the African as a hateful person. And if you referred to us as an African it was like putting us as a servant, or playing house, or talking about us in the way we didn’t want to be talked.

“Those who oppress know that you can’t make a person hate the root without making them hate the tree. You can’t hate your own and not end up hating yourself. And since we all originated in Africa, you can’t make us hate Africa without making us hate ourselves. And they did this very skillfully. And what was the result?

“They ended up with 22 million Black people here in America who hated everything about us that was African. We hated the African characteristics. We hated our hair. We hated our nose, the shape of our nose, and the shape of our lips, the color of our skin. Yes we did. And it was you who taught us to hate ourselves simply by shrewdly maneuvering us into hating the land of our forefathers and the people on that continent. As long as we hated those people, we hated ourselves. As long as we hated what we thought they looked like, we hated what we actually looked like.

“When you teach a man to hate his lips, the lips that God gave him, the shape of the nose that God gave him, the texture of the hair that God gave him, the color of the skin that God gave him, you’ve committed the worst crime that a race of people can commit. And this is the crime that you’ve committed.

“Our color became a chain, a psychological chain. Our blood — African blood — became a psychological chain, a prison, because we were ashamed of it. We felt trapped because our skin was black. We felt trapped because we had African blood in our veins.

“This is how you imprisoned us. Not just bringing us over here and making us slaves. But the image that you created of our motherland and the image that you created of our people on that continent was a trap, was a prison, was a chain, was the worst form of slavery that has ever been invented by a so-called civilized race and a civilized nation since the beginning of the world.

“You still see the result of it among our people in this country today.”

Brave Love is Beautiful

“I wrote these words for everyone who struggles in their youth.” –Lauryn Hill, Miseducation

For me (and I suppose for some of you too) true love is an act of intense courage.

This first occurred to me in high school when one of my classmates called me brave for wearing my naturally textured hair. I simply let my hair grow the way it naturally grows from my scalp, as it always has since birth. And for that, I was considered… brave. Even as recently as this year, people still refer to my choice of personal style as an act of bravery.

While it seems to defy gravity, my hair in its natural state (and especially when I cut it really short) also defies the norms of this society—a society filled with fairytale princesses like Rapunzel who are called to let down their golden hair, time and time again. Even I remember literally praying for long, straight hair that stretched down my back when I was a little girl.

Yet despite the constant propaganda of long-haired beauty and my former girlhood fantasies of long flowy hair, I came to love my natural black hair. When I cut it “all off,” I was shocked by how good it looked and how good it felt, both to my hands and to my spirit.

But, no matter how much we like what we see in the mirror, we are constantly confronted with the reality that the world does not reflect us.

Anyone who dares defy social norms is bound to suffer social punishment. So we must ask ourselves every day whether or not it’s worth the trouble.

Is my very short, natural hair worth the puzzled looks, stares, smirks, speculations about my sexuality, mistakes regarding my gender (“Mommy, is that a girl or a boy?” or “Yes, Sir… I’m sorry, ma’am”), interrogations (“Why don’t you let your hair grow out?” or “You sure you want it that short, like a MAN? Why you wanna do that???”), rejection, guffaws, the risk of not looking the part for the job, being dismissed as militant, being told your hair (the way it naturally grows from your scalp) is just a misguided political statement (it seems as if black girls and black women make a political statement every time we wake up, just by existing in a world that doesn’t seem to care whether or not we do), or just being overlooked, ignored, invisible.

In addition to natural hair, my personal style, especially throughout high school and college, often consisted of eclectic combinations of clothes. Skirts over jeans. Dresses over pants. Mix-matched prints. Mix-matched earrings. Loud colors. Layers of second hand pieces. I remember days when I’d pause at the door, my hand hovering over the knob, and I’d have to choose. Do I want to do this? Do I want to go out into the world in this conspicuous, quirky expression of myself? Is it worth having derogatory statements thrown at me from a third-story balcony? (That really happened, btw, but of course the offenders were literally hiding behind a curtain the whole time.)

And then there was colorism. This issue may seem most acute when we are young. I struggled with this mostly alone and in silence my entire youth. I did not find the courage to speak about my experiences and observations until I was in my mid-twenties. We are often told, in subtle and not so subtle ways, to suppress our voices and truths so others won’t have to feel uncomfortable, so others can remain the center of attention, and in order to protect others from pain, blame, or guilt.

You may be very aware of how society and many individuals in it go the extra mile to instill in us that we are ugly, unworthy of human respect and dignity, and less valuable than others. They try to bring us down with what they do and don’t do, say and don’t say.

It wasn’t just what other people of all races said to me or about me that was prejudiced and hurtful (with a major stank face: “Ew! You’re so black!” or “I like your sister better than you because she’s white and you’re black,” both real statements made by a black girl and white girl respectively). It was also the moments when they did not say anything about me that hurt me and exposed their prejudice. You know, when the colorstruck woman (related to you or not) dramatically praises and goes on and on about the lighter skinned sister, cousin, friend, or neighbor and is conspicuously mute, obviously silent about the darker skinned girl(s) present? Yeah, that happens all the time…

And we’re certainly not supposed to notice, call out, or try to change patterns in the media that over represent lighter skinned black women in certain kinds of roles. Because if we do, we’re just hating and being petty. So as a dark skinned girl you’re supposed to just passively and silently accept the status quo, cus “that’s just how it is.”

But brave love compels us to speak our truths and stand up for the causes we believe in no matter how others might respond. Brave love means knowing and believing in our beauty and brilliance no matter how many girls call us ugly, no matter how many guys laugh at us, no matter how invisible we seem in movies and television, and no matter how many times we’re outright attacked or outright ignored.

I know at my core how hard it is to face negation and hostility every day, how scary, frustrating, and wearisome it is. But that’s how I know that deciding to love yourself anyway is often not so easy. It’s a choice we have to make every day. It’s a choice that requires a significant store of strength and courage.

Every day we have to answer for ourselves, yes it’s worth it, or no it’s not. After several years of this and having just turned the corner of 30, I can look back and say: Yes, it was all worth it. And it still is.

“Whenever we submit our will to someone else’s opinion, a part of us dies.” –Lauryn Hill, Unplugged

You see, the most important thing to remember about courage is that it’s the only route to freedom. And freedom is fun, even though the process of winning that freedom isn’t usually fun or easy.

We humans are constantly tussling with the chains of other people’s opinions, expectations, and rules. It takes a bunch of mettle to break that metal—especially for us as girls and women constantly pressured to fit inside a ridiculously tiny box of lady-like behavior and physical attractiveness. Out of fear, many of us go to great lengths to fit inside that small container, usually cutting off significant parts of ourselves so that we take up less space.

“I get out. I get out of all your boxes. I’ll get out. You can’t hold me in these chains. I’ll get out.” –Lauryn Hill, Unplugged

So I empathize with the girl who really wants to experiment with short hair, but is too afraid or anxious about it. Or the young woman who wants to try a brightly colored print, but doesn’t dare stand out in that way. Or the girl who doesn’t want to wear heals, but believes she has to in order to become a woman. Or the young woman who’s nervous about standing up to the guys or girls trying to tear her down. I see you, and I see myself in you. Everything I do now as an adult is for you (and for that younger version of myself that travels through time to check on me every so often).

As a black teenage girl, I was blessed to have something which I’m afraid this generation of young girls doesn’t particularly have—popular images that show them alternative ways of being. I was fortunate to grow up in the “neo-soul” era. People compared me to India Arie before I even knew who she was! Erykah Badu quickly became my idol. Angie stone and Jill Scott graced TV screens, airwaves, and magazine pages all the time, back then. And even though they came before the neo-soul era, I really can’t say enough about Zhane! (It’s a Groove Thang!) I benefitted tremendously from having the “neo-soul” wave swell during my adolescence; and though that wave eventually crashed, its effects had already been deeply planted in my psyche and spirit. I often tell folks that a VHS of Lauryn Hill’s MTV2 Unplugged recording helped get me through my senior year of high school. I’d watch/listen every morning before leaving the house. She spoke to me like no one and nothing else at the time.

Today it seems these types of women are completely marginalized in the media. Even so, I’m encouraged because I continue to witness the bravery of young girls and young women who dare to be themselves in a society that relentlessly disavows their minds, spirits, bodies, and identities. I witness them loving themselves but also loving and supporting each other! That’s the double helix of Brave Love: loving yourself as you are and loving others as they are, knowing that igniting another fire doesn’t extinguish your own.

For every few people who tried to diss me, there was at least one other person (besides me) who thought my style was dope, and maybe more who just never told me. And I realized that courage is contagious. Every time a person chooses to walk in courage, they broaden the path for others to follow (or depart from) just like the women of neo-soul did for me.

I’ve been blogging since 2011, and I’m sure this is the most personal piece I’ve written so far. People often talk about self-love like “I woke up like this.” But for me true love is an act of intense courage. On some level, I wanted to share this because of the women who call me brave, strong, confident, etc. I think it’s important to remember that bravery is not an inherent quality. It’s a choice that we must make every moment of every day. And mostly I just want to acknowledge that it’s often a difficult choice.

Courage is like a muscle. The more we use it, the stronger our courage becomes. When we pass up the smaller, everyday opportunities to be courageous, we let our courage atrophy and find ourselves lacking courage just when we need it most. I believe all of the small, daily acts of courage prepare us for even greater moments.

For the young girls and young women still trying to figure out if expressing their uniqueness is worth the hassle of possible ridicule and rejection, I encourage you to try on a little Brave Love. You might be surprised at how great it looks on you.

Is Colorism Affecting your Relationship?

black and white photo of a dark skinned black couple standing shoulder to shoulder and reaching over their chests to hold hands while smiling and looking at their hands. they are both wearing white button down shirts. colorism affecting relationship

Not long ago, a theology student in Atlanta emailed to ask my opinion on how colorism affects couples and how pastors could help couples dealing with colorism. Though I’ve previously written about colorism in relationships, this email and a recent conversation with a friend prompted me to revisit the topic from a slightly different angle.

Watch the Colorism and Relationships Playlist or Scroll to Continue Reading

We usually discuss how colorism influences people’s decisions on who to date or marry, but we rarely hear discussions about how colorism continues to affect relationships beyond the initial decision to be or not to be with someone.

If colorism is an issue for a couple, here are five ways it might negatively impact their relationship, followed by suggestions for what individuals or couples can do about it.

1. If a partner is insecure about his or her own skin color, this can lead to jealousy, distrust, neediness, and hypersensitivity.

The insecure partner might constantly worry whether or not they’ll be replaced by someone lighter or darker. According to psychology and relationship experts, insecurity in general causes people to need constant attention, affirmation, and reassurance. This neediness often becomes a burden or obligation for the other partner to constantly prove their love and commitment.

Even when the other partner gives all the reassurances they possibly can, an insecure person might continue to question or doubt the sincerity of their partner’s show of affection. An insecure partner might also frequently misinterpret words and actions of their partner as insults or criticism. The tension created as a result of personal insecurity usually creates problems where problems would not exist otherwise.

2. People who are insecure about their own skin color or their partner’s skin color might also be controlling or abusive.

The commonly depicted case involves a man trying to control, belittle, or abuse a light skinned woman either to “cut her down to size” or “show her who’s boss” or to keep her from cheating with other men (since the belief is that she could have any man she wanted).

Although this is a common story to tell, I want to emphasize that insecurity can lead to abuse no matter what complexion each partner has. I’m sure we all know that both men and women of every race and color may be perpetrators and/or victims of physical and psychological abuse. And, of course, the complicated issues that lead to abusive relationships cannot be boiled down to colorism alone. However, colorism could be a factor.

One case I know of involved a husband controlling his wife’s appearance, specifically not letting her wear certain colors (bright colors) because he thought they clashed with her very dark complexion. Even more common, perhaps, is controlling a partner’s choice in hairstyles, not letting female partners “go natural” or  insisting that they wear extensions if their natural hair is “too kinky.” Women in these circumstances experience high levels of fear, anxiety, and shame in trying to meet their partner’s standards for physical appearance.

3. Colorism might be an external force on relationships in the form of resistance or rejection from friends or family.

Unfortunately, some families are still color-struck, even now, insisting that family members “better the race” or “stay true to the race” by only seeking partners within a narrow range of skin shades. In many cases, couples have to deal not only with rejection of a partner, but rejection of their children also if the children don’t turn out to be the desired shade of the family.

Relationships are already difficult due to their own internal conflicts. The added stress and anxiety of rejection, criticism, and mean-spiritedness from one’s own family or a partner’s family could perhaps draw a couple closer or drive a wedge between them.

4. Colorism may lead to anxiety about having children.

Many people base their mating decisions, at least in part, on how their offspring might look. I’ve heard several women bluntly say they’d like to have children with a light skin man, white man, Hispanic man, etc. so that they’d have “pretty babies.” I’ve heard men make similar comments about babies, though men in general might be less direct about their desire for children with particular physical attributes.

Genetics may be a science, but there’s no way to guarantee what a child will look like (at least not by ordinary means). In a color-struck relationship where one partner is dark and the other partner is light, one or both partners (and usually their family and friends) will spend the entire pregnancy guessing, speculating, hoping, wishing, praying that the baby will have a certain complexion, hair texture, eye color, and facial features.

In some cultures, the woman, no matter her complexion, is blamed and ostracized as having a “dirty womb” if the baby has dark skin and kinky hair. Women in these circumstances have increased anxiety about what their children will look like. Sometimes a color-struck parent may display favoritism or even abuse a particular child because of that child’s skin color.

Not all relationships involve children, but when they are involved, colorism creates an additional set of complicated issues on top of the typical challenges of rearing children.

dark skinned black couple smiling at the camera. man standing behind woman and holding her waist. he's wearing and orange shirt. she's wearing a yellow shirt. colorism in relationships

5. Colorism often means that people are infatuated with stereotypes, fetishes, or ideals rather than truly being in love with a unique individual.

This was at the heart of my response to the theology student in Atlanta. Essentially, people might become infatuated with someone’s skin tone rather than falling in love with the person. If skin color is just as or more important than other qualities, then there’s a problem. Skin color can and does change.

There’s also always someone lighter or darker who more exactly matches the idealized skin tone in a partner’s mind. Therefore, couples should be careful not to enter into relationships primarily because of skin color.

The other aspect of this, which I spoke to a friend about, is that many people choose partners of a certain skin color because they believe in reductive and misleading stereotypes about skin color. Dark skinned guys are more manly. Light skinned women are classier. Or whatever.

First, these stereotypes are essentially racist and steeped in centuries of white supremacist rhetoric and practices. Second, stereotypes of any kind are a really shallow foundation for a relationship. Is it possible to have a healthy relationship when one or both partners is infatuated with a stereotype instead of an individual with his or her own personality and unique set of characteristics?

Ways to Address Colorism in Relationships

My comment to the Atlanta theologian was that couples should deal with their personal insecurities and learn to appreciate, respect, and love each other as unique individuals. Here’s a more concrete list of steps that couples can take to address colorism, if and when it’s a problem in their relationship.

  • The first step to healing is awareness and acceptance. Take time to reflect and have a dialogue with your partner to determine if colorism is a source of any troubles. Sometimes all it takes is recognizing when and where colorism exists to start seeing improvements, but it requires confronting the issue, courageously.
  • —————–
  • Work on building individual self-esteem. There are many ways to go about this. Some simple things you can do everyday starting now include collecting and surrounding yourself with positive affirmations and reading self-help books like Ten Days to Self-Esteem.
  • —————–
  • For further development of personal self-esteem, try counseling or therapy. Sometimes we need a neutral person to talk to and help us gain some objectivity about ourselves and our circumstances.
  • —————–
  • Focus on the uniqueness and individuality of your partner. Maybe you realize you placed much more importance on your partner’s physical features than anything else, or that you’d gotten caught up in myths and stereotypes about skin color. It’s never too late to let those things go and develop a deeper appreciation for your partner beyond skin color and stereotypes.
  • —————–
  • Try couples therapy. In addition to working on each of yourselves, seeking help from a professional as a couple could be very effective.

Of course these suggestions work best when both partners really want the relationship to work and to last. And, again, relationship problems are usually too complicated to trace back to colorism as the single cause. But perhaps by acknowledging the ways colorism may be affecting a relationship, couples can work to resolve some of their troubles.

7 Ways to Fight Colorism with Technology

There are plenty of ways to fight colorism in our everyday lives, and technology is obviously one of my favorite.

Technology, when available, is a great tool for fighting colorism because it engages your creativity, promotes media literacy, and connects you to people and information around the globe.

Here are 7 ways you can use technology in your daily life to help heal colorism.

1. Research your family history.

Researching your family history is a way to deal with personal struggles related to colorism because it can give you a better sense of self. By reconnecting with your roots, you gain perspective on where you came from, where you are, and who you’ve come to be up to this point.

If relatives join together to research their history, it can foster healing, growth, and bonding for the family. If your family has a wide spectrum of skin tones, hair texture, and facial features, this could also explain and encourage discussion about those differences.

Ancestry.com is my personal recommendation for a great way to start researching and documenting your family tree. Many local libraries also have special genealogy sections that are free and open to the public. However, there’s nothing like sitting and listening to the older relatives impart their own knowledge about the family history.

But even the old fashioned oral histories can be recorded and shared through the use of modern technology, which is probably a good idea so that stories remain long after the storyteller is gone.

2. Start or sign petitions.

The online tool for petitions that I’m recommending is Change.org. This site comes with lots of features that allow you to search for or get notifications about causes and issues you care about. It also helps you create and spread the word about your own petitions.

Some of the more popular petitions addressing colorism have to do with casting, such as the Straight Outta Compton casting call and the casting of Zoe Saldana as Nina Simone.

However, there are many other worthy causes pertaining to colorism and other issues that you can throw your support behind with a simple “signature.”

3. Download or stream movies, shows, videos, or songs.

I choose Netflix for watching movies and some shows. When I first signed up, I searched specifically for movies made by and about people of color in all countries. I created a really long queue of such films and watched them one at a time.

I’ve also streamed television shows and movies on Amazon. I discovered it when one of my coworkers was showing her students the movie Roots on Amazon Instant Video.

I buy songs either from iTunes or Amazon. Unfortunately, there are many songs I haven’t been able to access due to country restrictions.

Also consider subscribing to YouTube channels that post thought provoking, inspiring, or relevant content.

Because we have a little less control over what airs on television or what’s featured in movie theaters, the internet is a good alternative source for media that is affirming and that tells the often untold stories.

Obviously, the internet is also filled with a lot of “bad” stuff, so you must put in a little extra effort to sift through some junk until you find some gems.

4. Share positive posts, especially about people of color.

Okay, this seems so easy, yet we don’t do it enough, probably because we allow so much junk and negativity to clutter our social media timelines that we don’t see nearly enough good stuff. I know I’ve been guilty in the past for focusing on the sad, troubling, or controversial posts on Facebook and Twitter. But we’re making changes, right?

Sharing (or retweeting) positive posts starts with populating our news feeds with more positive, productive, inspiring content to balance out the other stuff.

Follow people who post non-junk and be on the lookout for an inspiring story or motivational quote to share. If you’ve found great content suggested in tip #3, share that too.

Notice I say SHARE, not like, favorite, or even comment (although these things are good to do in addition to sharing). If we want to spread the positive stuff, then liking, favoriting, and commenting aren’t going to help as much as sharing or retweeting.

Also look out for actual photos and images of people that main stream media don’t publish often, or people who represent a type that was once invisible (and still drastically underrepresented) in main stream media. Share those.

5. Buy products.

You’re probably going to buy a book, or a T-shirt, or a doll, or jewelry, or a piece of artwork at some point, right? You can search online for retail products that affirm the heritage, skin tone, hair texture, or features that you have, or that your children have.

There’s now a line of nude colored bras for black women.

You can also search for these products to help you and your family become familiar with, comfortable with, and appreciative of people’s differences.

Many small, local, minority owned businesses have online retail options, so you’re also not limited by transportation or location.

6. Create collages.

Because main stream media does a poor job showing positive images of people of color, especially those with dark skin, we must be more proactive in surrounding ourselves and our children with such imagery. Creating collages is a great way to do this.

I made this collage with Photovisi. It’s super simple because it’s all done online and there are very few features to distract and confuse you.

collage photovisi ways to fight colorism with technology

I used a slightly more complex Collageit program to make this one. Collageit requires downloading software from the internet, which should be done with caution. But overall, I love the features!

ways to fight colorism with technology Collageit collage

I used stock photos and photos from Creative Commons to create these. Learn about other collage makers here.

7. Create Songs or Videos.

The first thing I recommend is that you create a YouTube channel. Simply sign up for a free YouTube account if you don’t already have one. This is easier to do if you already have a Gmail account.

YouTube will allow you to capture, create, edit, and share your video. You can keep the video private and only share it with people you choose, or you can make it public for anyone to see.

If you want fancier videos, there are plenty of video editing programs you can use to create the video and then upload the finished product to YouTube. Such programs can be pretty pricy, though, so I recommend using those only if you’re serious about your video making. You may also find free access to video editing software through school or another institution or organization.

These seven tech based ways to fight colorism are simple and fun places to start. Explore these strategies, and your sure to discover even more creative things you can do.

How do you use technology to spread positivity?

Eradicating Generational Hair Shaming

A Movement to Save Our Thinning Hair

and Self-Worth

By Kirleen Richardson Neely PhD, LPC-S

We have all been bombarded with the abundance of YouTube videos and blogs discussing the concept of Good hair vs. Bad hair and more recently Natural vs. Relaxed hair for African American women. It’s clear that ethnic hair still carries with it power, pain, and controversy. This topic seems to have stood the test of time largely because of its deep connection to slavery. As with many things in modern day society, most discussion has centered on being for it or against it. What has struck me about these conversations is the lack of focus on the real life consequences of these constructs and, even more important, the lack of healthy conversation about solutions.

One consequence is generational hair shaming. Little Black girls are overtly told by caregivers and subliminally through media images that their hair is nappy, bad, and unmanageable. The shaming comes in the form of popping the child on the head with the comb, often out of frustration, or making verbal comments about the child having bad hair. Well-meaning mothers and caregivers pass shaming down generation after generation not even realizing its potential for harm. However innocuous the shaming might be, it ultimately impacts self-worth and personal pride.

Another very significant but less talked about consequence is the current epidemic of hair loss among Black women. The online photos of Black celebrities with thinning edges seem to be a microcosm of what hair professionals are seeing in their chairs. To meet the media-driven dominate standard of beauty and the intercultural belief that there really is such a thing as GOOD hair, Black women have feverishly engaged in damaging hair practices such as excessive braiding, weaving, coloring, and relaxing. When genetic factors and medical disease are ruled out, these practices contribute to hair loss.

It is easy to make the connection that if you are shamed as a child about your hair, when you are a teen and able to change it, you will. The lack of financial resources for most teens forces the all-too-often trip to the girlfriend’s kitchen to have your hair done. The girlfriend’s kitchen becomes the beauty shop, but little attention is paid to proper technique or possible damage from chemicals. Many young women are ending up with significant amounts of hair loss. Hair loss is a psychologically devastating experience for any woman; but when it occurs to a young woman, it’s even more destructive. These women are robbed of their confidence and feelings of self-worth.

As a psychotherapist and mother of two girls, I became curios about how all these factors intersect. I decided to conduct a qualitative research dissertation on the psychosocial implications of hair loss and beauty standards among young African American women. The study provided me with the opportunity to interview women in a very intimate manner. My study found that the combination of hair shaming as children and media-driven images leads young women to disconnect from their natural hair. Eventually, they opt to consistently wear their hair in weaves and long braids. This excessive use is done with blatant disregard for their real hair. Some women go months without washing or grooming their natural hair. The primary reason noted for this choice is the infectious amount of attention received when they no longer had African-type hair. The cruel irony is the desire for acceptance ultimately left them with hair loss and lowered self-worth.

Solutions to address this issue will need to be multifaceted, but educating mothers and caregivers about the impact of hair shaming is a good first step. Young girls also need clear advice on how to appropriately care for their hair and the possible long-term consequences of certain hair styles. Lastly, honest conversations about the history and politics of hair should be held with girls during late elementary school. Girls at this age are on the brink of learning to style and maintain their own hair. Straightforward conversation is needed because children are often told to love and accept themselves, but are not usually given the why behind the message. We should not underestimate their ability to comprehend this issue, because true change comes from understanding.

Copyright © 2014 Dr. Neely

What it really takes to End Colorism

So, you want to know how to end colorism?

Well, if you were looking for a quick fix, I’m sorry to tell you there’s no easy answer.

The issue is as complicated as any other social problem.

But we must start somewhere.

And the fact that you’re here reading this is a good sign that we can and will make progress in our efforts to stop the cycle of colorism.

There are various strategies, practical things we can do to end colorism. I get into some of these in other blog posts.

Here I want to talk less about how to end colorism and more about what  it takes to end colorism.

Listen to Dr. Webb read this post or scroll to keep reading.

Courage and Honesty

Courage and honesty must be at the core of everything we say and do in the struggle to end colorism.

Why courage?

First, colorism is one of those “controversial” issues that many people passionately disagree about. I’m gaining critics and enemies with every word I write–not intentionally, but inevitably.

If you’re not ready or willing to deal with criticism, personal attacks, confrontation, and loss, then you won’t be effective in this fight.

It’s going to take courage to speak up in a group of friends or family and denounce an act of colorism.

Second, it takes courage to be honest.

Why honesty?

We can’t heal unless we know precisely what needs to be healed. Are we expressing insecurities about ourselves, or prejudices against others? Have we been hurt by others, or have we been hurting others? Is a particular situation a case of colorism, or merely coincidence?

If it is colorism, we have to be honest and say it is. If we are insecure, we have to be honest and say we are. If we are prejudiced, we have to be honest and admit it.

Are you ready for that?

Good! Then let’s continue.

Whole Communities

community illustration

No matter what race or color, we have all been complicit in perpetuating colorism.

Usually, when we talk about colorism in general conversations, we’re limited to the individual, interpersonal experience. Sometimes we only think of colorism as “that girl’s insecurity,” or “that girl’s low self-esteem,” or “that girl’s jealousy.” We often think of healing from colorism as “teaching girls to love themselves.”

But colorism is not just a personal problem. Colorism is a social problem. Colorism influences our society’s legal system, politics, educational system, healthcare system, crime and violence, and media.

No social problem can exist or cease to exist without community level action.

Teaching dark brown girls to love themselves is a worthy and necessary goal, but it’s often a cop-out for doing the additional, more difficult work of teaching our entire society to love dark brown girls.

Would we solve racism by merely teaching black and brown people to love themselves? Would we solve sexism by merely telling women they just need to love themselves? Would we solve homophobia by merely telling gays and lesbians to just take pride in who they are?

You can love yourself all you want and still be negatively impacted by colorism in the larger society. All the self-love in the world won’t stop a kid from getting shot and killed because of how someone else perceives him.

Now, I’m all for self-love. I really am. But too often we pretend like that alone is the answer to colorism. Perhaps we’re too afraid, too self-absorbed, or too lazy to confront the rest of the problem.

In order to really heal from colorism, we must seek to address it at the community level (just like we do with racism, sexism, or crime) and stop centralizing the problem and its solutions on individual people.

Whole Families

grandparents family

I could have lumped this into the community section, but it’s such an important and complex piece of the puzzle that it needs to be singled out.

For many people, the earliest and clearest ideas about skin color, hair texture, and features come from family members. This includes parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, aunts, and uncles.

Although a lot of people point to the media as a primary factor in colorism, I think what goes on in our families is even more important. When we consume media, we’re merely observing strangers. Although those images are powerful, discrimination within our own families is actually a lived experience that directly involves us and those we have intimate relationships with, making it that much more painful and traumatic.

The family’s role in healing colorism is twofold:

First, families must say and do as many positive things as possible to promote self-love and affirm the worth and beauty of ALL family members of EVERY SHADE.

Second, families must openly and lovingly address instances of colorism whenever they happen.

Ignoring, laughing off, or excusing an act of colorism is just as bad as committing an act of colorism. Most of us just let tough or potentially confrontational situations slip by without saying anything. But in the words of Audre Lorde: “Your silence will not protect you.” And it certainly will not help to end colorism.

Many victims of colorism within families believe they have no voice and no ally. You can be the courageous person in your family who saves your niece, nephew, cousin, daughter, son, brother, or sister by affirming them and standing up for them whenever you see colorism happening.

Individuals

In order to heal families and communities, we must heal ourselves. You know how the saying goes: “Hurt people, hurt people.”

Until we deal with our own individual issues, whether it’s prejudice or insecurity, we’re likely to continue spreading the germ of colorism. The world doesn’t need our colorism germs.

Persistent Action Over Time

I saved this one for last because if you’ve made it this far, you’re probably committed to actually working to end colorism. This will separate those who think colorism is an interesting topic for discussion from those, like you, who are ready to do something to end it.

As I said before, there are other posts that provide specific actions; but whatever actions we take in the fight against colorism, we must persist over time, probably our entire lifetimes.

When I talk to some people about colorism, they seem shocked that this is still going on. I question that reaction because we all know that problems don’t just go away on their own. What makes these people think that colorism should have just evaporated overtime all by itself?

The world needs you to help put an end to colorism.

Now that you know what it really takes, are you up for the challenge?

Fighting Colorism while Reading Magazines

fighting colorism inside essence magazine

fighting colorism with people essence magazines coversMagazines are one of humanity’s greatest creative/business  projects.

My mom used to work at a bank inside of a grocery store. As a girl, I’d grab all the house and home magazines off the shelves to pass the time until she got off work.

Then, in high school I discovered black hair magazines and Essence. I can honestly say that these magazines helped shape my ideas of the world and of myself. It began with the typical impulse to collect pictures and stories of my favorite celebrities at the time, but it soon grew into something more. I came to view magazines differently, and they served a deeper purpose than mere entertainment.

Somewhere along the way I began selecting magazines with images and messages that affirmed the woman I was becoming. I sought hair magazines that featured natural hair styles and actually started reading magazines like Essence cover to cover. I’d cut out meaningful passages and hang them on my walls, create collages of women and men with locs, and even made a photo book with magazine cutouts and the lyrics to “Black Butterfly.

I guess what I grew to understand is that we don’t have to accept whatever’s given to us. We can reject, protest, question, or repurpose it to suit our needs.

Fighting colorism demands that we are intentional and proactive with our words and actions every day. It means doing everyday things in a new way–everyday things like tweeting, watching television, listening to music, posting selfies, and reading magazines.

One of the biggest shifts we can make is in media literacy, especially among youth. With this change, we’ll start to see a difference in how the media affects our beliefs about skin color, hair, and facial features.

The benefit to using media literacy to fight colorism is that we can make a difference even if the media doesn’t change. Of course we want to continue pushing for change in the media, but we don’t have to wait for others to act. We can make progress by teaching young people not to be passive viewers, listeners, and readers.

What is Media Literacy?

According to the Media Literacy Project, “Media literacy is the ability to access, analyze, evaluate, and create media. Media literate youth and adults are better able to understand the complex messages we receive” through various forms of media. 

Media literacy gives us increased knowledge and skills to make more informed interpretations and judgments about what’s in the media. This will help us stop accepting and internalizing messages in the media that reinforce colorism.

Media literacy also gives people the knowledge and skills to find and create alternative media, which can be used to spread a different message.

Fighting Colorism while Reading Magazines

Magazines are notorious for their lack of diversity. This isn’t surprising since many magazines are part of the fashion industry, and the fashion industry is tragically monochromatic. (See here, here, and here.)

As a girl, I quickly noticed the biased pattern in magazines that favored light skin and straight hair. No one had to point it out to me. It was obvious.

But whether we like them or not, magazines are part of everyday life for many people. We see them in lobbies, waiting rooms, grocery store checkout lines, and even the backs of airline seats.

Since getting completely away from magazines is tough to do, we should start to look at them differently. We can engage with them on another level. We can be active rather than passive consumers.

So, I have compiled a few basic ideas that can help us start to look at magazines differently. Although these work for people of any age, I especially want you to share this with the children and young adults in your life.

1) Most popular magazines depict fantasy, not reality.

Why would we open a magazine if it only showed us what we already have and see every day? It’s the fact that magazines allow us to escape into the kind of life we often dream about that continues to make them so appealing.

The typical magazine is in the business of depicting fantasy, not reality; that includes everything from the immaculate kitchens in Better Homes and Gardens, to the splendid dishes in Food & Wine, or the ripped abs in Fitness Magazine.

Every image is staged before, during, and after it’s created. (Watch this.)

But what if we revealed the man behind the curtain, exposed the smoke and mirrors, and told people (especially children and teens) that images in magazines usually don’t show a person as they naturally are? What if we explained the highly involved process of what it takes to get a model or celebrity out of bed in the morning and onto the cover of a magazine? I think that’s a strategy that could reduce the influence of magazine images.

Going back to “that man behind the curtain” (Wizard of Oz reference) we see that people were ruled by the wizard. They worshiped and feared the wizard until they realized that there was no wizard. The would-be wizard was a regular person just like everybody else. And once the people learned this, they were no longer ruled by him; they no longer worshiped or feared him.

When people learn that the images in magazines are mainly illusions, those images lose some of their power. Now, this doesn’t let magazines off the hook. And it certainly won’t fix the problem of unrealistic beauty standards in the media. It just makes us less vulnerable to potentially harmful messages.

2) When we read the text, the images often fade into the background.

fighting colorism inside essence magazine I often hear the expression: “looking at a magazine.” Too many people “look at” magazines rather than read them.

If we really want to make a difference in how we’re influenced or not by magazines, we must commit to actually reading every magazine that we open, and only opening those that we intend to read.

Here are the benefits to paying more attention to reading magazines rather than just flipping through them to look at pictures:

  • improving basic reading skills (especially in children and young adults)
  • shifting focus (literally) away from the images
  • gaining useful knowledge or inspiration
  • valuing substance over shallow imagery
  • learning that what we see never reveals the whole story

Obviously, reading the entire magazine every time isn’t practical. But maybe there’s at least one article or story that sparks enough interest to read. If it’s the image of a celebrity that sparks interest, then go ahead and enjoy looking at the photo spread, but also read the interview or feature on that person.

3) Have a conversation about the magazine.

Especially if you’re reading a magazine with a young person, it’s important to encourage them to express what they think about the magazine.  You can probably come up with good questions that are most appropriate for your specific child, magazine, and situation, but here are a few to get you started.

  • Why did you choose to read this magazine?
  • Do you know anyone else who might enjoy the magazine? Why do you think they would enjoy it?
  • What was your favorite story/article? Why did you like it? What did you learn from it?
  • Do you think the editors did a good job choosing pictures for the magazine? Why or why not?
  • What kind of people are shown and not shown in this magazine? Why do you think the magazine editors decided to show these people rather than others?
  • If you could create a magazine, how would it be similar to, or different from this one?

To make it a real conversation and not a one-sided interview, be sure to share your own thoughts and allow others to ask their own questions.

4) Diversify your magazine selection and go beyond what you can buy at supermarkets.

If you’re into the idea of fighting colorism while reading magazines, you’ll have to invest in a diverse range of magazines and go beyond what’s easily accessible in local stores. I urge you to try these titles that are probably missing from the racks and shelves at your local retailers. Also, continue to discover new and different magazines on your own.

Now you tell us: Do you think magazines are useful in fighting colorism?

For a Brown Girl: who committed suicide when her rainbow wasn’t enough

“& this is for colored girls who have considered suicide / but are movin to the ends of their own rainbows”

—Ntozake Shange

In 1975 the poet Ntozake Shange published For Colored Girls who have Considered Suicide when the Rainbow is Enuf. In April 2014, the rainbow proved insufficient for one colored girl, Karyn Washington, creator of the online communities For Brown Girls and The #DarkSkinRedLips Project.

Like most of her fans, I didn’t know Karyn personally, but we exchanged a few tweets and emails about our common interests in colorism, self-love, and empowerment.

I got the news of Karyn’s suicide on Friday afternoon and struggled to fight back tears the rest of the workday.

As a comrade in the battle against colorism, a kindred dark-brown girl, and someone who fights every day to keep the demons of depression at bay, I felt the missing weight of of my beautiful sister’s life. Like a seesaw. It’s easier to manage the ups and downs when there’s someone on the other end. Only when there’s a strong counterbalance can we hope to rise again.

Karyn was reportedly suffering from depression following the death of her mother. She’d lost her counterbalance. And who can replace the weight of a mother?

She started FBG at the young age of 19, and only three years later killed herself at the age of 22.

While I can’t help but imagine the kind of impact she could have made on the world if she’d lived to be an old woman, I’m grateful for the work she left behind and all that she did accomplish.

For many girls and women, Karyn Washington was part of the rainbow, someone who helped them see the whole spectrum of their world and appreciate every shade.

But where did the rainbow fall apart for Karyn? Who could have been there to fill in the gap for her, just as she’d done for others?

In a recent edition of Shange’s book, she says we might think we face the cruelty of this world alone, “but we don’t. We discover that by sharing with each other we find strength to go on.”

At the end of Shange’s For Colored Girls, the seven ladies “enter into a closed tight circle.”

That’s the rainbow.

But for too many of us, that circle isn’t so tight. For too many of us the circle is broken and the rainbow is not enough.

When Karyn lost her mother, she lost a significant part of her rainbow. Perhaps she felt her circle was then too broken to ever be whole again.

Whether we know it or not, we’re all a part of someone else’s rainbow.

Karyn’s suicide makes me feel the urgency of completing and tightening the circle for as many people as possible. That includes helping them find professional help when needed. (We probably all need it at some point.)

Now that Karyn is gone, there’s an important space to fill in the struggle for self-love and empowerment and the ongoing battle against colorism.

So take your places. Shine with the light of your true colors.

If you are considering suicide, call 1-800-273-8255. For additional information, visit www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

5 Lessons on Colorism from Lupita Nyong’o’s Essence Speech

Lupita_NyongoTIFF2013_(cropped) gdcgraphicsThe talk continues about Lupita Nyong’o. Over the past few days, however, it’s gotten deeper than just her Hollywood stardom and high fashion domination.

Ever since Lupita’s powerful speech about the effects of colorism at Essence’s Black Women in Hollywood event, more people are weighing in on the issue.

Some, like me, are openly excited about this moment. Some might be a little more skeptical. Others are probably unaware that anything is happening.

Regardless of what we ultimately believe about Lupita’s role in fighting colorism, it’s clear that she’s helping to spark discussion about colorism in ways that very few other celebrities have.

After watching and reading Lupita’s speech, I went back and parsed out six big takeaways to share with you.

1) Images matter a lot.

“And then Alek Wek came on the international scene. A celebrated model, she was dark as night, she was on all of the runways and in every magazine and everyone was talking about how beautiful she was. . . . a flower couldn’t help but bloom inside of me. When I saw Alek I inadvertently saw a reflection of myself that I could not deny. Now, I had a spring in my step because I felt more seen, more appreciated by the far away gatekeepers of beauty. . . . I could never have guessed that my first job out of school would be so powerful in and of itself and that it would propel me to be such an image of hope in the same way that the women of The Color Purple were to me.”

I’m not going to say too much here, because I think you get it.

2) It helps to admit that colorism affects us in deeply personal ways.

“I remember a time when I too felt unbeautiful. . . . I got teased and taunted about my night-shaded skin. And my one prayer to God, the miracle worker, was that I would wake up lighter-skinned. . . . And when I was a teenager my self-hate grew worse, as you can imagine happens with adolescence.”

It’s refreshing to hear a celebrity open up about their personal struggles, past or present, especially when so many claim they’ve never struggled with self-love. It helps people who are currently struggling to see that there’s hope and that they can live a brilliant life despite the difficulties.

For us as individuals, we can’t really heal if we pretend we’ve never been hurt. We have to start by admitting it to ourselves. But when we reach a point where we can admit it openly and publically, to those we know and love, and to others, we release an even greater burden.

It takes courage, but the first step to healing is acknowledging the pain.

3) A loving parent’s affirmations aren’t always enough.

“My mother reminded me often that she thought that I was beautiful, but that was no consolation: She’s my mother, of course she’s supposed to think I am beautiful.”

I’ve written before about the mistake that many parents make in thinking that merely telling their daughter she’s beautiful means she should have no self-image issues.

The truth is, even if parents tell their children several times every day how gorgeous they are, the rest of the world may be saying something very different. Parents must acknowledge this outside influence and realize that they have to be more proactive in building a positive self-image in their children.

4) Colorism isn’t just about the media.

“but around me the preference for light skin prevailed. To the beholders that I thought mattered, I was still unbeautiful.”

256px-Gabourey_Sidibe_2010 greg hernandezAlthough we often focus on the media as a force that perpetuates colorism, many of us, including me, first experience colorism from the everyday people around us. The media is an easy target because if we focus on the media, we don’t have to face our daily reality, relationships, and interactions with people in real life.

If we focus on the media’s role in keeping colorism alive, we don’t have to confront our parent, aunt, best friend, or coworker whose words and actions continue the cycle of colorism.

Even when people in the media, like Lupita Nyong’o or Gabourey Sidibe, present a change from the norm, many people don’t accept them. They reject the alternative image because it goes against what they’ve really believed all their lives.

It’s not enough just to demand change in the media. We must also demand it from ourselves and the people around us.

5) Colorism can use celebrity spokespeople just like any other cause.

“And so I hope that my presence on your screens and in the magazines may lead you, young girl, on a similar journey.”

Many celebrities use their influence to campaign for special causes and to bring attention to issues that would get very little attention otherwise. Over the past several decades those causes have included HIV/AIDS, poverty, cancer, racism, gay rights, women’s rights, war, child abuse, domestic violence, human trafficking, immigration reform, visual and performing arts, literacy, employment, prison reform, climate change and the list goes on.

It’s time for colorism to be added to that list.

But one person, celebrity or not, can’t make change on their own. We must continue to be the everyday spokespeople every day.

Will you join us in speaking out about colorism?

Fair Weather: A Poem About Colorism

3 siblings close up, one boy and two girls, for a poem about colorism

I wrote the following poem about colorism when I was in junior high, circa 1997. I don’t remember my exact age or the exact time. I do know that this was the first time I’d ever expressed my thoughts about colorism, and It was more than a decade later before I ever tried to speak or write about colorism again.

One of the reasons I wanted to launch the Colorism Poetry Contest is to give people the kind of platform that I would have benefited from. Rather than writing poems and tucking them away in notebooks, never to be shared with anyone, this contest will give people the chance to offer their expressions to the whole world.

What I hope the collection of poetry submissions will show is the diversity of ideas and experiences with colorism, as well as the similarities.

For those who have never attempted to write a poem about colorism, the Colorism Poetry Contest serves as a prompt that can get people to really think about colorism–what it means, how it makes them or others feel, and how it affects individual lives.

The professional, career writer in me could make a thousand revisions and edits to this poem, but I left it as it was originally written, true to who I was at that time. What’s published below is a peak into what’s driven me over the years to eventually dedicate myself to this work.

3 siblings close up, one boy and two girls, for a poem about colorism
Me and my two siblings in the 90’s

 

Fair Weather: A Poem About Colorism

by Sarah L. Webb circa 1997

It took a while for me to remember

That rainy, gray morning in September

A girl with skin like the sun

Didn’t stop me from having fun

A lot of attention is what she got

Friends try to bring me along

I say I would rather not

Because right here the will is strong

The two of us they try to compare

But I’m used to it, so I don’t care

I don’t care if her hair is long

With my hair I see nothing wrong

So what if I have darker skin

I’m not deprived of any finesse

And might I say again

It adds to my gracefulness

The guys try to put her in my place

Because they claim she has a prettier face

But I can, without the slightest hint of a try,

See myself as beautiful until I die

Lupita Nyong’o Strikes a Blow to Colorism in Hollywood

Lupita Nyong’o Strikes a Blow to Colorism in Hollywood
photo by Steve Rhodes

Lupita Nyong’o has skyrocketed into the national and international spotlight since the release of 12 Years a Slave and the buzz surrounding the current award season.

12 Years came out in October of 2013 with Nyong’o playing the supporting role of Patsy.

Since then, Nyong’o was a favorite for all of the national Hollywood awards. She didn’t take home a Golden Globe, but she recently snagged a SAG and a CCA (Screen Actors Guild and Critic’s Choice Award). She’s also been nominated for an NAACP Image Award and an Academy Award.

She’s been the talk of fashion and entertainment circles and can be seen on magazines, news broadcasts, social media, and websites of all types.

This is all amazing news for Nyong’o. But her explosive fame is also good news for the rest of us.

How? Well, to explain how, I must first put Nyongo’s success in the broader context of colorism in Hollywood.

Colorism in Hollywood

Today, dark-skinned women are still under- and misrepresented in Hollywood. Sadly, this is the case no matter the race of the filmmakers.

In fact, colorism is more obvious in films with all or majority black actors. In films such as Baggage Claim or Best Man Holiday or Coming to America, it’s clear that lighter skin (and “whiter” features) is the feminine beauty standard for women in Tinseltown.

Beyond movies, the lack of dark-skinned women in all forms of media has been noted before.

That’s why the ubiquity of Lupita Nyong’o’s image, the fact that we can see her almost everywhere, is such an exciting phenomenon.

More about Lupita Nyong’o

Lupita Nyong’o is a Kenyan woman who was born in Mexico in 1983. Her father was a politician and university professor. She and her family lived a middle class life in Nairobi.

At 19, she pursued studies in filmmaking at Hampshire College in Massachusetts, and not too long ago, she graduated from the Yale School of Drama with a Master’s in Acting.

Before her big break as an actress on the big screen, Lupita wrote, directed, and produced the 2009 documentary “In My Genes,” which looks at the treatment of albinos in Kenya.

In a Telegraph interview, Lupita’s own words about watching The Color Purple as a young girl so clearly illustrate the issue of colorism in Hollywood:

“It was the first time I’d seen someone like me on screen. Whoopi Goldberg had my kind of hair and was dark like me. I thought, maybe I could do this for a living.”

It’s safe to say that Lupita is now doing the same thing for other young girls right now.

Undermining Colorism in Hollywood

Here are a few ideas I have about exactly how Lupita Nyong’o and the buzz surrounding her could help fight colorism in Hollywood.

1) The simple fact that a dark-skinned actress with short, natural hair and “black” features is getting so much recognition and so many accolades will hopefully make filmmakers question their assumptions about who can appeal to a mass audience.

Too often people excuse colorism in casting by saying that “racially ambiguous” people are more relatable to a larger audience.

I say, please give me a strong break! If that were true, we wouldn’t see movies like Best Man Holiday with very dark-skinned male actors.

Lupita’s success exposes the lie in that excuse and reveals that movie makers repeatedly cast light-skinned women because they are caught up in colorism.

2) Lupita Nyong’o helps fight colorism because she is unmistakably dark-skinned (even when editors try to make her appear lighter than she really is), and yet people of all races all over the world are acknowledging her talent and beauty.

3) Lupita consistently wears her hair short and natural, helping to redefine what women must look like to gain acceptance in Hollywood.

Most black actresses on the red carpet wear straight hair, often with extensions or wigs. And there’s a common notion among many blacks that straight hair is necessary for mainstream success. Hopefully Lupita can move the needle on that harmful attitude as well.

Of course, Lupita might very well straighten her hair or don a wig or weave someday, maybe even soon. However, her courage to rock short, natural hair while first breaking into Hollywood (versus people who did so after already achieving a certain level of success) has definitely sent a strong message to the public.

4) I think her comment about Whoopi Goldberg suggests that Lupita is well aware of how her image impacts viewers around the world.

Many Hollywood stars attempt to be ahistorical. They want to pretend there’s no larger context for the roles they play on and off the screen. Such obliviousness, ignorance, or denial only supports the status quo.

By merely acknowledging the power of imagery in her personal life, Lupita has done more than many in progressing the fight against colorism (whether that was her intent or not).

Based on the subject of her 2009 documentary “In My Genes,” the role she chose to play in 12 Years a Slave and other comments she’s made, I’d say Lupita is the kind of person who would embrace the idea that she’s making a difference in Hollywood, even if only indirectly.

5) It’s not just the fact that she was cast in a movie and won awards that makes a difference for colorism in Hollywood. It’s the casting and awards, plus the mainstream media buzz surrounding this beautiful newcomer that somehow makes it significant.

One blow doesn’t win the battle

Before I close, I must say that colorism in Hollywood still exists despite Lupita’s recent rise to fame. We need to see more women like her (and continued positive responses to women like her) if we’re to actually see a significant reduction of colorism in Hollywood.

However, I think the attention she’s getting suggests that we can make progress.

I also think we should take advantage of all the attention she’s getting in Hollywood to strike a blow to colorism in our everyday lives, in our families, workplaces, schools, and personal relationships.

Let me suggest a few ideas of how we can do that.

♦ Watch her on television and in movies and get others to watch with you.

♦ Buy the magazines that are featuring her and share them with your kids, relatives, coworkers, etc.

♦ Share a picture of her and/or positive comment about her on social media.

♦ Do the same for other under- and misrepresented Hollywood actresses whenever possible.

Remember that you can like ColorismHealing.org on Facebook for more positive images.