Category: Colorism in the Real World

Beyond the media, this is a discussion on how colorism permeates our real-world institutions and relationships.

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Gender and Colorism

gender and colorism featured image sarah webb smiling at the camera wearing olive green shirt

This Wednesday Workshop is the first follow-up to my introductory session on intersectionality. This week I provide some historical context to the specific intersection of gender and colorism and identify how this intersection plays out systemically and interpersonally. I default to the American (United States in particular) context, but as I briefly mention in the recording, this can apply to other cultural contexts as well.

Overarching Systems of Oppression

Color is an intersection of gender. Gender is an intersection of color.

There are three primary systems that apply pressure to this interection:

  • Patriarchy– A vast system designed to maintain male dominance and power socially, sexually, economically, politically, etc.
  • Misogyny– Defined as hatred for women, but “hatred” might be too strong a word for many people. Misogyny most often shows up as a negative bias against women and things associated with women, femaleness, or femininity. Quite often, though, misogyny is expressed as outright, explicit hatred. This culture of misogyny sustains patriarchy.
  • White Supremacy– I don’t bother making a distinction between colorism and white supremacy (though I do distinguish between racism and colorism!). Phenotype is a big factor in classifying who is white and who isn’t.

Historical Roots of How Gender and Colorism Interact

The broad white supremacist and antiblack cultural beliefs that have been entrenched over centuries in many Western or colonized societies are structured as follows:

The human ideal was white (man). The foil used as leverage to support this premise was the positioning of black (woman) as the extreme opposite, as subhuman. So not only, according to the established social hierarchy, were white men positioned as the ideal human, but black women were simultaneously positioned as less than human. At one point in the united states, this was quantified as black people being 3/5 human so that land-owning white men in Southern states could have more political power in government.

White men were positioned as the pinnacle of humanity for their supposedly superior intelligence, civilization, morals, leadership etc. White women were positioned as the pinnacle of female humanity. They were the models of feminine ideals of beauty, morals, purity, virtue, innocence, intelligence, civilization, delicateness, etc.

Black men were seen as unintelligent, uncivilized, amoral, deviant brutes. But the association with brutishness also made them recognized (stereotyped) for their physical dominance, athletic abilities, etc. In contexts where this is prized, we see a high degree of representation and acceptance of dark-skinned black men: sports, security, disciplinarians, etc. However, this stereotype of physical dominance combined with the perception of amoral, deviant, uncivilized brutishness positions black men as the ultimate criminal threat.

Unlike the dichotomy between white men and white women, there was no distinction given between black men and black women. Black women were perceived in exactly the same ways as black men. Therefore they were perceived as masculine, unintelligent, amoral, deviant, criminally inclined, brutish, physically dominant (strong), etc. Therefore, black women are susceptible to the same dangers as black men: higher rates of policing and disciplining, excessively penalized, inequitable punitive measures, etc. However, because they are women, they do not socially benefit from perceptions of masculinity the way dark-skinned men do. The association of dark-skin with masculinity and strength often benefits dark-skinned men socially, but it deeply marginalizes dark-skinned black women, and often makes them the targets of more violence and punishment. It also discourages people from helping black women, from coming to our aid, standing up for us, etc.

This stereotype of dark-skinned black women also makes us less desirable in heteronormative romances and marriages. Dark-skinned black women are less than half as likely to be married compared to white women and light-skinned women (23% vs. 50-55%). For the sake of time, I won’t go into the impact this has on the socioeconomic outcomes of women, but just know that it’s not just a matter of “being chosen.” This lack of interest in dark-skinned black women as romantic or marriage partners coupled with the stereotype that dark-skinned women are stronger, more sexually deviant and available, etc. results in a high degree of sexual exploitation and violence such as rape. Because of the stereotypes, however, it’s often not even perceived as exploitation or violence against us. People are more likely to condone this violence when it is perpetrated against dark-skinned women and girls.

Light-skinned black men and women benefit socially and systemically from perceptions that they are closer to whiteness and therefore more intelligent, professional, moral, etc. than dark-skinned black men and women. We see this manifest in trends of employment, income, schooling, sentencing for crimes, etc. Although many light-skinned men report being negatively stereotyped as not masculine enough, this is only a negative because of our patriarchal and misogynistic culture that demands men be “masculine” and that defines masculinity in such narrow and oppressive ways.

Although light-skinned women benefit in the romance/marriage market, they have also historically been sexually exploited and raped due to the fetishization of both white and black men. A difference, however, is that because light-skinned women are perceived as being softer, more civilized, more feminine, more beautiful, etc. they benefit from receiving more empathy from others.

There’s still far more to say about this topic, but this is where I leave it for now. I will return to it again because gender dynamics in our culture have so much to do with our experiences of colorism. This was an important start, though, and as always, I leave you with homework.

Homework: 1) Take the Harvard Implicit Association Test on Color (and any other topic of interest!). 2) Begin to de-colonize your mind in small ways (consume different images, educate people who use anti-black rhetoric (or distance yourselves from them), etc.

Affirmation: We are capable and powerful enough to bring about meaningful change. Don’t let cynicism hold you back!

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Is Colorism Affecting your Relationship?

black and white photo of a dark skinned black couple standing shoulder to shoulder and reaching over their chests to hold hands while smiling and looking at their hands. they are both wearing white button down shirts. colorism affecting relationship

Not long ago, a theology student in Atlanta emailed to ask my opinion on how colorism affects couples and how pastors could help couples dealing with colorism. Though I’ve previously written about colorism in relationships, this email and a recent conversation with a friend prompted me to revisit the topic from a slightly different angle.

Watch the Colorism and Relationships Playlist or Scroll to Continue Reading

We usually discuss how colorism influences people’s decisions on who to date or marry, but we rarely hear discussions about how colorism continues to affect relationships beyond the initial decision to be or not to be with someone.

If colorism is an issue for a couple, here are five ways it might negatively impact their relationship, followed by suggestions for what individuals or couples can do about it.

1. If a partner is insecure about his or her own skin color, this can lead to jealousy, distrust, neediness, and hypersensitivity.

The insecure partner might constantly worry whether or not they’ll be replaced by someone lighter or darker. According to psychology and relationship experts, insecurity in general causes people to need constant attention, affirmation, and reassurance. This neediness often becomes a burden or obligation for the other partner to constantly prove their love and commitment.

Even when the other partner gives all the reassurances they possibly can, an insecure person might continue to question or doubt the sincerity of their partner’s show of affection. An insecure partner might also frequently misinterpret words and actions of their partner as insults or criticism. The tension created as a result of personal insecurity usually creates problems where problems would not exist otherwise.

2. People who are insecure about their own skin color or their partner’s skin color might also be controlling or abusive.

The commonly depicted case involves a man trying to control, belittle, or abuse a light skinned woman either to “cut her down to size” or “show her who’s boss” or to keep her from cheating with other men (since the belief is that she could have any man she wanted).

Although this is a common story to tell, I want to emphasize that insecurity can lead to abuse no matter what complexion each partner has. I’m sure we all know that both men and women of every race and color may be perpetrators and/or victims of physical and psychological abuse. And, of course, the complicated issues that lead to abusive relationships cannot be boiled down to colorism alone. However, colorism could be a factor.

One case I know of involved a husband controlling his wife’s appearance, specifically not letting her wear certain colors (bright colors) because he thought they clashed with her very dark complexion. Even more common, perhaps, is controlling a partner’s choice in hairstyles, not letting female partners “go natural” or  insisting that they wear extensions if their natural hair is “too kinky.” Women in these circumstances experience high levels of fear, anxiety, and shame in trying to meet their partner’s standards for physical appearance.

3. Colorism might be an external force on relationships in the form of resistance or rejection from friends or family.

Unfortunately, some families are still color-struck, even now, insisting that family members “better the race” or “stay true to the race” by only seeking partners within a narrow range of skin shades. In many cases, couples have to deal not only with rejection of a partner, but rejection of their children also if the children don’t turn out to be the desired shade of the family.

Relationships are already difficult due to their own internal conflicts. The added stress and anxiety of rejection, criticism, and mean-spiritedness from one’s own family or a partner’s family could perhaps draw a couple closer or drive a wedge between them.

4. Colorism may lead to anxiety about having children.

Many people base their mating decisions, at least in part, on how their offspring might look. I’ve heard several women bluntly say they’d like to have children with a light skin man, white man, Hispanic man, etc. so that they’d have “pretty babies.” I’ve heard men make similar comments about babies, though men in general might be less direct about their desire for children with particular physical attributes.

Genetics may be a science, but there’s no way to guarantee what a child will look like (at least not by ordinary means). In a color-struck relationship where one partner is dark and the other partner is light, one or both partners (and usually their family and friends) will spend the entire pregnancy guessing, speculating, hoping, wishing, praying that the baby will have a certain complexion, hair texture, eye color, and facial features.

In some cultures, the woman, no matter her complexion, is blamed and ostracized as having a “dirty womb” if the baby has dark skin and kinky hair. Women in these circumstances have increased anxiety about what their children will look like. Sometimes a color-struck parent may display favoritism or even abuse a particular child because of that child’s skin color.

Not all relationships involve children, but when they are involved, colorism creates an additional set of complicated issues on top of the typical challenges of rearing children.

dark skinned black couple smiling at the camera. man standing behind woman and holding her waist. he's wearing and orange shirt. she's wearing a yellow shirt. colorism in relationships

5. Colorism often means that people are infatuated with stereotypes, fetishes, or ideals rather than truly being in love with a unique individual.

This was at the heart of my response to the theology student in Atlanta. Essentially, people might become infatuated with someone’s skin tone rather than falling in love with the person. If skin color is just as or more important than other qualities, then there’s a problem. Skin color can and does change.

There’s also always someone lighter or darker who more exactly matches the idealized skin tone in a partner’s mind. Therefore, couples should be careful not to enter into relationships primarily because of skin color.

The other aspect of this, which I spoke to a friend about, is that many people choose partners of a certain skin color because they believe in reductive and misleading stereotypes about skin color. Dark skinned guys are more manly. Light skinned women are classier. Or whatever.

First, these stereotypes are essentially racist and steeped in centuries of white supremacist rhetoric and practices. Second, stereotypes of any kind are a really shallow foundation for a relationship. Is it possible to have a healthy relationship when one or both partners is infatuated with a stereotype instead of an individual with his or her own personality and unique set of characteristics?

Ways to Address Colorism in Relationships

My comment to the Atlanta theologian was that couples should deal with their personal insecurities and learn to appreciate, respect, and love each other as unique individuals. Here’s a more concrete list of steps that couples can take to address colorism, if and when it’s a problem in their relationship.

  • The first step to healing is awareness and acceptance. Take time to reflect and have a dialogue with your partner to determine if colorism is a source of any troubles. Sometimes all it takes is recognizing when and where colorism exists to start seeing improvements, but it requires confronting the issue, courageously.
  • —————–
  • Work on building individual self-esteem. There are many ways to go about this. Some simple things you can do everyday starting now include collecting and surrounding yourself with positive affirmations and reading self-help books like Ten Days to Self-Esteem.
  • —————–
  • For further development of personal self-esteem, try counseling or therapy. Sometimes we need a neutral person to talk to and help us gain some objectivity about ourselves and our circumstances.
  • —————–
  • Focus on the uniqueness and individuality of your partner. Maybe you realize you placed much more importance on your partner’s physical features than anything else, or that you’d gotten caught up in myths and stereotypes about skin color. It’s never too late to let those things go and develop a deeper appreciation for your partner beyond skin color and stereotypes.
  • —————–
  • Try couples therapy. In addition to working on each of yourselves, seeking help from a professional as a couple could be very effective.

Of course these suggestions work best when both partners really want the relationship to work and to last. And, again, relationship problems are usually too complicated to trace back to colorism as the single cause. But perhaps by acknowledging the ways colorism may be affecting a relationship, couples can work to resolve some of their troubles.

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What it really takes to End Colorism

So, you want to know how to end colorism?

Well, if you were looking for a quick fix, I’m sorry to tell you there’s no easy answer.

The issue is as complicated as any other social problem.

But we must start somewhere.

And the fact that you’re here reading this is a good sign that we can and will make progress in our efforts to stop the cycle of colorism.

There are various strategies, practical things we can do to end colorism. I get into some of these in other blog posts.

Here I want to talk less about how to end colorism and more about what  it takes to end colorism.

Listen to Dr. Webb read this post or scroll to keep reading.

Courage and Honesty

Courage and honesty must be at the core of everything we say and do in the struggle to end colorism.

Why courage?

First, colorism is one of those “controversial” issues that many people passionately disagree about. I’m gaining critics and enemies with every word I write–not intentionally, but inevitably.

If you’re not ready or willing to deal with criticism, personal attacks, confrontation, and loss, then you won’t be effective in this fight.

It’s going to take courage to speak up in a group of friends or family and denounce an act of colorism.

Second, it takes courage to be honest.

Why honesty?

We can’t heal unless we know precisely what needs to be healed. Are we expressing insecurities about ourselves, or prejudices against others? Have we been hurt by others, or have we been hurting others? Is a particular situation a case of colorism, or merely coincidence?

If it is colorism, we have to be honest and say it is. If we are insecure, we have to be honest and say we are. If we are prejudiced, we have to be honest and admit it.

Are you ready for that?

Good! Then let’s continue.

Whole Communities

community illustration

No matter what race or color, we have all been complicit in perpetuating colorism.

Usually, when we talk about colorism in general conversations, we’re limited to the individual, interpersonal experience. Sometimes we only think of colorism as “that girl’s insecurity,” or “that girl’s low self-esteem,” or “that girl’s jealousy.” We often think of healing from colorism as “teaching girls to love themselves.”

But colorism is not just a personal problem. Colorism is a social problem. Colorism influences our society’s legal system, politics, educational system, healthcare system, crime and violence, and media.

No social problem can exist or cease to exist without community level action.

Teaching dark brown girls to love themselves is a worthy and necessary goal, but it’s often a cop-out for doing the additional, more difficult work of teaching our entire society to love dark brown girls.

Would we solve racism by merely teaching black and brown people to love themselves? Would we solve sexism by merely telling women they just need to love themselves? Would we solve homophobia by merely telling gays and lesbians to just take pride in who they are?

You can love yourself all you want and still be negatively impacted by colorism in the larger society. All the self-love in the world won’t stop a kid from getting shot and killed because of how someone else perceives him.

Now, I’m all for self-love. I really am. But too often we pretend like that alone is the answer to colorism. Perhaps we’re too afraid, too self-absorbed, or too lazy to confront the rest of the problem.

In order to really heal from colorism, we must seek to address it at the community level (just like we do with racism, sexism, or crime) and stop centralizing the problem and its solutions on individual people.

Whole Families

grandparents family

I could have lumped this into the community section, but it’s such an important and complex piece of the puzzle that it needs to be singled out.

For many people, the earliest and clearest ideas about skin color, hair texture, and features come from family members. This includes parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, aunts, and uncles.

Although a lot of people point to the media as a primary factor in colorism, I think what goes on in our families is even more important. When we consume media, we’re merely observing strangers. Although those images are powerful, discrimination within our own families is actually a lived experience that directly involves us and those we have intimate relationships with, making it that much more painful and traumatic.

The family’s role in healing colorism is twofold:

First, families must say and do as many positive things as possible to promote self-love and affirm the worth and beauty of ALL family members of EVERY SHADE.

Second, families must openly and lovingly address instances of colorism whenever they happen.

Ignoring, laughing off, or excusing an act of colorism is just as bad as committing an act of colorism. Most of us just let tough or potentially confrontational situations slip by without saying anything. But in the words of Audre Lorde: “Your silence will not protect you.” And it certainly will not help to end colorism.

Many victims of colorism within families believe they have no voice and no ally. You can be the courageous person in your family who saves your niece, nephew, cousin, daughter, son, brother, or sister by affirming them and standing up for them whenever you see colorism happening.

Individuals

In order to heal families and communities, we must heal ourselves. You know how the saying goes: “Hurt people, hurt people.”

Until we deal with our own individual issues, whether it’s prejudice or insecurity, we’re likely to continue spreading the germ of colorism. The world doesn’t need our colorism germs.

Persistent Action Over Time

I saved this one for last because if you’ve made it this far, you’re probably committed to actually working to end colorism. This will separate those who think colorism is an interesting topic for discussion from those, like you, who are ready to do something to end it.

As I said before, there are other posts that provide specific actions; but whatever actions we take in the fight against colorism, we must persist over time, probably our entire lifetimes.

When I talk to some people about colorism, they seem shocked that this is still going on. I question that reaction because we all know that problems don’t just go away on their own. What makes these people think that colorism should have just evaporated overtime all by itself?

The world needs you to help put an end to colorism.

Now that you know what it really takes, are you up for the challenge?

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For a Brown Girl: who committed suicide when her rainbow wasn’t enough

“& this is for colored girls who have considered suicide / but are movin to the ends of their own rainbows”

—Ntozake Shange

In 1975 the poet Ntozake Shange published For Colored Girls who have Considered Suicide when the Rainbow is Enuf. In April 2014, the rainbow proved insufficient for one colored girl, Karyn Washington, creator of the online communities For Brown Girls and The #DarkSkinRedLips Project.

Like most of her fans, I didn’t know Karyn personally, but we exchanged a few tweets and emails about our common interests in colorism, self-love, and empowerment.

I got the news of Karyn’s suicide on Friday afternoon and struggled to fight back tears the rest of the workday.

As a comrade in the battle against colorism, a kindred dark-brown girl, and someone who fights every day to keep the demons of depression at bay, I felt the missing weight of of my beautiful sister’s life. Like a seesaw. It’s easier to manage the ups and downs when there’s someone on the other end. Only when there’s a strong counterbalance can we hope to rise again.

Karyn was reportedly suffering from depression following the death of her mother. She’d lost her counterbalance. And who can replace the weight of a mother?

She started FBG at the young age of 19, and only three years later killed herself at the age of 22.

While I can’t help but imagine the kind of impact she could have made on the world if she’d lived to be an old woman, I’m grateful for the work she left behind and all that she did accomplish.

For many girls and women, Karyn Washington was part of the rainbow, someone who helped them see the whole spectrum of their world and appreciate every shade.

But where did the rainbow fall apart for Karyn? Who could have been there to fill in the gap for her, just as she’d done for others?

In a recent edition of Shange’s book, she says we might think we face the cruelty of this world alone, “but we don’t. We discover that by sharing with each other we find strength to go on.”

At the end of Shange’s For Colored Girls, the seven ladies “enter into a closed tight circle.”

That’s the rainbow.

But for too many of us, that circle isn’t so tight. For too many of us the circle is broken and the rainbow is not enough.

When Karyn lost her mother, she lost a significant part of her rainbow. Perhaps she felt her circle was then too broken to ever be whole again.

Whether we know it or not, we’re all a part of someone else’s rainbow.

Karyn’s suicide makes me feel the urgency of completing and tightening the circle for as many people as possible. That includes helping them find professional help when needed. (We probably all need it at some point.)

Now that Karyn is gone, there’s an important space to fill in the struggle for self-love and empowerment and the ongoing battle against colorism.

So take your places. Shine with the light of your true colors.

If you are considering suicide, call 1-800-273-8255. For additional information, visit www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

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5 Lessons on Colorism from Lupita Nyong’o’s Essence Speech

Lupita_NyongoTIFF2013_(cropped) gdcgraphicsThe talk continues about Lupita Nyong’o. Over the past few days, however, it’s gotten deeper than just her Hollywood stardom and high fashion domination.

Ever since Lupita’s powerful speech about the effects of colorism at Essence’s Black Women in Hollywood event, more people are weighing in on the issue.

Some, like me, are openly excited about this moment. Some might be a little more skeptical. Others are probably unaware that anything is happening.

Regardless of what we ultimately believe about Lupita’s role in fighting colorism, it’s clear that she’s helping to spark discussion about colorism in ways that very few other celebrities have.

After watching and reading Lupita’s speech, I went back and parsed out six big takeaways to share with you.

1) Images matter a lot.

“And then Alek Wek came on the international scene. A celebrated model, she was dark as night, she was on all of the runways and in every magazine and everyone was talking about how beautiful she was. . . . a flower couldn’t help but bloom inside of me. When I saw Alek I inadvertently saw a reflection of myself that I could not deny. Now, I had a spring in my step because I felt more seen, more appreciated by the far away gatekeepers of beauty. . . . I could never have guessed that my first job out of school would be so powerful in and of itself and that it would propel me to be such an image of hope in the same way that the women of The Color Purple were to me.”

I’m not going to say too much here, because I think you get it.

2) It helps to admit that colorism affects us in deeply personal ways.

“I remember a time when I too felt unbeautiful. . . . I got teased and taunted about my night-shaded skin. And my one prayer to God, the miracle worker, was that I would wake up lighter-skinned. . . . And when I was a teenager my self-hate grew worse, as you can imagine happens with adolescence.”

It’s refreshing to hear a celebrity open up about their personal struggles, past or present, especially when so many claim they’ve never struggled with self-love. It helps people who are currently struggling to see that there’s hope and that they can live a brilliant life despite the difficulties.

For us as individuals, we can’t really heal if we pretend we’ve never been hurt. We have to start by admitting it to ourselves. But when we reach a point where we can admit it openly and publically, to those we know and love, and to others, we release an even greater burden.

It takes courage, but the first step to healing is acknowledging the pain.

3) A loving parent’s affirmations aren’t always enough.

“My mother reminded me often that she thought that I was beautiful, but that was no consolation: She’s my mother, of course she’s supposed to think I am beautiful.”

I’ve written before about the mistake that many parents make in thinking that merely telling their daughter she’s beautiful means she should have no self-image issues.

The truth is, even if parents tell their children several times every day how gorgeous they are, the rest of the world may be saying something very different. Parents must acknowledge this outside influence and realize that they have to be more proactive in building a positive self-image in their children.

4) Colorism isn’t just about the media.

“but around me the preference for light skin prevailed. To the beholders that I thought mattered, I was still unbeautiful.”

256px-Gabourey_Sidibe_2010 greg hernandezAlthough we often focus on the media as a force that perpetuates colorism, many of us, including me, first experience colorism from the everyday people around us. The media is an easy target because if we focus on the media, we don’t have to face our daily reality, relationships, and interactions with people in real life.

If we focus on the media’s role in keeping colorism alive, we don’t have to confront our parent, aunt, best friend, or coworker whose words and actions continue the cycle of colorism.

Even when people in the media, like Lupita Nyong’o or Gabourey Sidibe, present a change from the norm, many people don’t accept them. They reject the alternative image because it goes against what they’ve really believed all their lives.

It’s not enough just to demand change in the media. We must also demand it from ourselves and the people around us.

5) Colorism can use celebrity spokespeople just like any other cause.

“And so I hope that my presence on your screens and in the magazines may lead you, young girl, on a similar journey.”

Many celebrities use their influence to campaign for special causes and to bring attention to issues that would get very little attention otherwise. Over the past several decades those causes have included HIV/AIDS, poverty, cancer, racism, gay rights, women’s rights, war, child abuse, domestic violence, human trafficking, immigration reform, visual and performing arts, literacy, employment, prison reform, climate change and the list goes on.

It’s time for colorism to be added to that list.

But one person, celebrity or not, can’t make change on their own. We must continue to be the everyday spokespeople every day.

Will you join us in speaking out about colorism?

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A Brief Introduction to Colorism for Children and Young Adults

brief introduction to colorism for children and young adults

I. The Purpose of this Resource

brief introduction to colorism for children and young adultsThe purpose of this Introduction to Colorism is to help parents, educators, mentors, and counselors facilitate discussions about colorism with young people of all ages.

The following is meant to give youth an introductory glimpse of what colorism is, where it comes from, and how it affects people. This is done primarily through literature and discussion/written responses.

Whether or not they’ve ever heard of the term “colorism,” you will find that many people have observed or experienced acts of colorism at some point in their lives, while others have not. These materials are designed with both sets of audiences in mind.

II. What is Colorism?

Colorism is prejudice toward others because of their skin color or features such as hair texture and eye color. It may also be a dislike for your own skin color and features.

Two people may be the same race and still be treated differently because of how dark or light their skin is.

Colorism is something that happens all across the country and all around the world. There are a few different explanations for why it exists, but most historians say it’s the result of racism during colonialism and slavery.

During slavery in the United States, for example, many Native Americans and Blacks were mixed with white ancestry. Although they were not treated as equal to whites, some people believed that being mixed with more European ancestry made them more acceptable than Native Americans and Blacks who were not mixed.

Since those times, colorism has taken many forms, and people of all colors have been perpetrators and targets.

III. Suggested Readings on Colorism with preliminary questions

A. Elementary

1.Same Difference by Calida Rawles (also in video format via YouTube)

a) How do Lisa and Lida treat each other before they see their differences?

b) How does Lisa and Lida’s grandmother help the girls feel good about their differences?

2. Skin Again by bell hooks

a) What can a person’s skin tell you about who they are?

b) What can a person’s skin NOT tell you about who they are?

3.Nina Bonita by Ana Maria Machado

a) How does the bunny feel about Nina’s black skin?

b) What does this story show us about different skin colors in families?

B. Middle

1. The Skin I’m In by Sharon G. Flake

a) How or why does Maleeka develop a dislike for her skin color?

b) What does Miss Saunders teach Maleeka about being comfortable in her own skin?

2.Fall Secrets by Candy Dawson Boyd

a) How does Jessie’s relationship with her sister affect her feelings and actions at school?

b) How does opening up about her secret start to change Jessie’s attitude and feelings about skin color?

C. High

1. Like A Tree Without Roots by Teresa Ann Willis

a) How does history play a role in Jasmine’s attitude about her skin color and features?

b) What steps does Jasmine take on her journey to self-acceptance?

2. “Team Lightskinned” YouTube video via CNN

a) According to the poem, what are some of the burdens and privileges of being light- or dark-skinned?

b) How does this poem demonstrate a need for empathy among people of different colors?

3.Maud Martha by Gwendolyn Brooks

a) How does colorism impact family dynamics in Maud Martha?

b) How does colorism affect romantic relationships in Maud Martha?

D. College

1.The Blacker the Berry by Wallace Thurman

a) How is skin color tied to class and social status in Blacker the Berry?

b) How does Emma Lou perpetuate colorism toward herself and others in the novel?

2.Coffee Will Make You Black by April Sinclair

a) How or why does Stevie learn to appreciate her own skin and hair?

b) What can we learn from this novel about how and why colorism is perpetuated?

IV. Colorism Writing Prompts/Discussion Starters

A. Have you ever heard someone make negative comments about another person’s skin color? If so, what did you hear them say, and how did you feel about it?

B. How is colorism similar to or different from other types of prejudice?

C. Do you think a person’s skin color is really what makes them smart, nice, or beautiful? Why or why not?

V. Next Steps

After you’ve reviewed these materials and have attempted to use them, please give me your feedback. Any ideas, suggestions, or critiques would be quite helpful in the future development of educational resources on colorism.

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Colorism in Relationships: Preference or Prejudice?

dark brown man in green shirt hunging dark brown woman with pink shirt holding a boquet of flowers looking back and smiling at the man. colorism in relationships preference or prejudice

Why do we date who we date? What’s really behind our choice of marriage partners? Is love truly blind? And more to the point of this post, is there colorism in relationships? How can we discern if it’s a matter of preference or prejudice?

Watch LIVE: Dr. Webb Elaborates on Colorism in Relationships and Preference vs. Prejudice (or Scroll to Continue Reading).

If there is colorism in relationships, how can we tell the difference between a person who coincidentally falls for someone of a certain skin tone versus someone who is color struck?

Here I present one perspective on this matter. Of course there are other viewpoints out there. If you’re new to this issue, I encourage you to explore those as well, after you’ve considered the following.

Is there Colorism in Relationships?

Yes. As Kola Boof says in this video, we can control who we love. As a society and as individuals, we make conscious choices about who’s loved and who’s rejected. We must not be satisfied with an uncritical acceptance of our beauty standards. We have to be willing to examine why we have preferences and realize that “preference” isn’t merely biological, physical, harmless attraction. Our preferences are shaped, molded, and conditioned by our environment. There’s no doubt in my mind that colorism plays a huge role in romantic relationships, but perhaps there’s some doubt in yours. So here’s why I’m so sure that colorism exists in relationships.

Because Racism Exists

As long as racism exists, and as long as that racism is internalized by various groups of people, colorism will also exist. That’s because racism causes colorism, like an offshoot.

If you believe that the world has evolved to a point where racism is no longer an everyday problem, then you might not recognize colorism as a problem either.

Because of the Research

In a 2002 article, “Race and the Politics of Personal Relationships: Focus on Black Canadian Women,” Evangelia Tastsoglou, explains how it’s not surprising that some blacks have adopted “society’s color complex” because of all the racism, white supremacy, and stereotypes that saturate everyday culture.

Tastsoglous also summarizes a lot of historical research on the issue by writing, “Even in the Black community, the fair-skinned Black woman who most nearly resembled White women was seen as the lady and placed on a pedestal, whereas darker-skinned Black women were viewed as b****** and whores.”

Christopher A. D. Charles, who focuses on Jamaican culture in the article “Skin Bleaching and the Prestige Complexion of Sexual Attraction,” explains that many Jamaicans who bleach their skin do so to be more attractive to potential mates.

Charles also makes the very important statement that, “some of these people choose a browning [light skin] partner to have light skin children.”

Although there’s more research, I’ll close this section by referring to the writings of Darrick Hamilton, Arthur H. Goldsmith, and William Darity, who co-wrote “Shedding ‘light’ on marriage: The influence of skin shade on marriage for black females.” In that article, the writers refer to prior research that’s provided “ample evidence that greater social status is ascribed to black women with lighter skin shade in the U.S.”

However, in their own research, they establish further evidence of this, specifically for women under the age of 30. They report that “as skin shade lightens the incidence of marriage rises.” More specifically, they report general percentages as follows: “55 percent of light skinned black females had been married, but only 30 percent of those with medium skin shade and 23 percent of the dark skinned females had ever been married. The ever married rate for young whitewomen, 50 percent, is slightly less than the rate for young light skin blackwomen…”

Because of Lived Experiences

In the short film, “Fair? – A documentary about skin colour in India,” several people report on the pervasive culture of colorism in India.

The first woman to speak, who’s not really dark by world standards, admits that throughout her childhood people had told her: “You are dark, so you will never get married.”

Other testimonies in the documentary discuss how weddings have been cancelled because the bride was too dark, that photos used in marriage proposals are lightened and the women are made to wear powder to appear fairer, that local ads specifically request fair skinned marriage partners, and many more instances of day-to-day colorism in relationships.

Academy Award winning actress Lupita Nyong’o was told by a teacher while growing up in Kenya that she wouldn’t be able to find a husband because she was so dark.

In my own experiences living in the United States, I’ve heard many people explicitly say that they only date people with a certain skin tone. Beyond only dating men or women with a certain complexion, some people even go so far as to taunt, harass, belittle, and demean people who don’t meet their standards for skin tone. In some cases, men admit that they’ll sleep with women of any complexion, but will only date or marry women with light skin.

I’ve witnessed this kind of discrimination firsthand, and have observed it in numerous movies, TV shows, and song lyrics. If you have not, then consider yourself lucky, but don’t consider it proof that colorism in relationships must be a myth.

Preference or Prejudice?

close up of clasped hands of a dark brown skinned couple colorism in relationships preference or prejudice

I acknowledge that many relationship choices are controlled by subconscious programming, both biological and sociological. However, there are some clear signs that a person isn’t innocently falling for whomever destiny has chosen for them.

Predetermined Attraction

If physical attraction is supposed to be biological and instinctual, then predetermining the skin color of a future partner is a clear warning sign that a person is color struck.

Saying, “I only date ___ skinned girls/guys” exposes the colorism behind a person’s choice of partners.

Also, predetermining who you will partner with based on their skin color is NOT the same as preferring a certain personality, work ethic, or sense of humor. Skin color has no substantive effect on the quality of a relationship, whereas other sorts of personal qualities often do.

If a person is really just reacting to pure physical attraction rather than superficial societal standards, they would not be able to predetermine who they will or will not be attracted to based solely on skin color because not all dark/brown/light skinned people look alike.

And just because lots of people have similar superficial prejudices against other physical features, doesn’t make colorism in relationships okay.

Fetishes or Stereotypes about Complexion

A second warning sign that a person is color struck is that they make excessive comments about skin color. The comments may be positive or negative, and they may be about the person they’re currently in a relationship with or a total stranger.

The real giveaway is whether the comment contains over-generalizations, fetishizing language, and stereotypes (“dark/light skinned girls be like…”).  If a person’s choice is really just “preference” based purely on biological physical attraction and not socially conditioned prejudice, then there would be no need for fetishizing and stereotyping. If you can’t express your so called “preference” without demeaning other people, then it’s not merely a “preference,” it’s actually prejudice. If racist stereotypes aren’t cool with you, then colorist stereotypes shouldn’t be either. And it does not matter if the person claims it’s “just a joke.” It’s still colorism.

If you can’t express your so called “preference” without fetishizing complexion, then it’s not a “preference,” but a sickness. It’s one thing to find someone’s complexion, hair, and features attractive. It’s another thing entirely to fetishize those traits.

Hypocritical Stance on Discrimination

Someone says they would never date outside of their race, and you call them racist. Someone says they’d never date a dark skinned girl, and you shrug and say it’s just “preference.” Those who insist that race should not matter in who a person loves, should, by their own logic, also insist that skin tone should not matter. Instead, those who “go to bat” to defend black men who choose to date/marry non-black women, saying it’s wrong to discriminate based on race, are completely silent and perfectly okay with black men (and women) discriminating based on skin tone. They support skin tone discrimination by saying, “it’s just preference,” but will call other people racist if they choose to only date within their race.

The ugly truth is that this double standard plays into the hands of colorism and white supremacy: Fight for the right to marry white/light (an effort founded on the perceived superiority of whiteness) and cosign anti-blackness.

Why Does it Matter?

  1. These harmful beliefs don’t just affect who dates whom. These negative ideas permeate other important aspects of our lives like employment and health.
  2. Marriage or partnership in general has a significant impact on the socioeconomic status of women.
  3. Colorism in dating and marriage choices upholds white supremacy and racism.
  4. Anti-black prejudice is wrong. Period.

Recognition is Only the Beginning

Some people really struggle to admit their prejudices (and perhaps never will), while others boast about their colorism. I don’t  go out crusading to change these people’s attitudes and actions. I merely focus on awareness. It’s not my goal to make a color struck adult see the beauty in all skin tones. But by focusing on awareness, and acknowledging that the problem of colorism in relationships is real, perhaps we can impact younger/future generations and open up lanes of healing.

If you’re looking for a speaker or facilitator for your next colorism event, learn about Dr. Sarah Webb’s colorism keynotes and workshops.

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Are You Doing Enough to Help Your Child Deal with Colorism?

black girl with plaits via blue skyz media on flickr; help your children deal with colorism

“I always tell my daughter she’s beautiful,” said one father in response to our discussion about colorism. He, like many parents, believed that she was too young for any discussion beyond that. Like many parents, he thought that this vague show of affection was enough to ward off the world’s animosity toward dark skin and Afrocentric features. Yet despite his regular proclamations of his daughter’s beauty, she herself actually saw very little beauty or worth in dark skin. I could see it, but he was clearly in denial. If you really want to help your child deal with colorism, it’s time to stop relying on the easy excuses.

Why merely telling her she’s beautiful isn’t enough

The typical human mind processes negative feedback more deeply than positive feedback. It’s said that for every instance of negative feedback, it takes 5 to 6 instances of positive feedback to balance the negative. I first heard this in an intro to psych class in undergrad, and I’ve never forgotten it.

There’s a lot of negative messages about dark skin and Afrocentric features floating around our communities, institutions, media, family, and other places that our children frequent. Research shows that even if we told our children that they are beautiful every day of their lives, it probably won’t be enough to balance out all of the negativity that says otherwise.

Then there’s also the idea that a parent’s love is blind, that parents believe their children are beautiful because they’re theirs. For some children, the fact that you’re their parent may limit the effectiveness of you telling them they’re beautiful.

Finally, telling your child that she is beautiful doesn’t necessarily communicate to her that you think dark skin and Afrocentric features are beautiful in general. Remember that eradicating colorism is about more than individual self-esteem—it’s also about being able to see beauty in all its shades and forms. So even if telling your daughter that she’s beautiful causes her to really believe that she is, that doesn’t automatically mean that she’ll be able to appreaciate dark-skinned beauty in others. I’ve met a lot of dark-skinned girls over the years who see themselves as beautiful, yet believe that they are an exception and that light-skin is generally more beautiful.

Why you can’t wait for her to be the “right” age

Studies show that children can recognize differences in skin color, hair, and other features as early as six months old, and that by age four, many children have already begun assigning positive and negative traits to those differences.

My own mother often tells the story about how I was able to verbalize my awareness of colorism at the age of five. At age six I had already been called a “black n****r,” and was told by a playmate: “I like your sister better than you because she’s white and you’re black.” At age nine, a girl in my dance class said, “Eeww! You’re so black!” And those were only the blatantly stated messages of hatred for dark skin. Consistently throughout the years there were countless other messages about skin color, hair, and other features.

Many parents make the mistake of waiting until their child is old enough to have intellectual conversations, possibly even as late as adulthood. But the evidence points to the need for parents to intervene as early as possible before attitudes solidify and are thus harder to change.

As far as not saying or doing anything, just remember that ignoring an issue is the same as condoning it. Imagine what message you’re sending to your child when they can clearly see discrimination, but for some reason they’re parents act like everything is normal.

What it really takes to help your child deal with colorism

Courage. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to talk to our children about any tough issue, whether it’s drugs, sex, death, or racism. But the tougher the issue, the more they need our guidance as parents. Better they learn from us than from the media, or peers, or other sketchy sources.

It also takes honest and direct conversation. We must be honest about the fact that colorism and racism do exist and that they cause a lot of pain. We must not skirt around the issue or make our children think it’s such a taboo topic that they can’t talk to us about it. In order to let our children know that they can come to us, we must first go to them.

Finally, it requires proactive effort.

We must be careful with our comments about the attractiveness of others, including ourselves. If you always tell your dark-skinned daughter she’s beautiful, yet she never witnesses you acknowledge the beauty of other dark-skinned girls and women, what message are you really sending?

We must be mindful of how we treat others. Even without words, children can recognize preferential or unfair treatment, and they will recognize whether there’s a pattern based on skin color or hair texture.

We must also be mindful of who and what our children are exposed to. Limit their interaction with people you know are color-struck. Expose them to a wide diversity of skin tones, races, features, languages, etc. Limit their viewing of general media, and increase their viewing of racially diverse media, especially media that affirms the beauty of darker people.

In the end, you’re not doing any more or less than you would normally be doing as a good parent. For example, you’re probably already buying books for your daughter. Now just consider the kind of books you buy.

What do you do to help your child deal with colorism?

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8 Tips for Dealing with Colorism in Families

colorism in families a fair skinned girl and dark skinned boy

Sibling rivalries. Estranged parents. Favoritism. Neglect. Abuse. Family should be the place where everyone can experience unconditional love and acceptance. Unfortunately, a lot of folks feel anything but that. Trouble at home can arise for many reasons—one of them is the existence of colorism in families. As Elizabeth Hordge-Freeman (2013) says, “In families, love is present, but … what love looks like may depend, in part, on what you look like” (p. 14). While many families of color around the world think it’s common place to hear casual comments or jokes about skin color, hair, or other features, there are far too many instances where colorism goes beyond mere words and results in outright neglect or abuse.

colorism healing bookstore

A lot of anti-colorism advocates focus on external pressures in the media as the primary source of colorism and low self-esteem. But many people tell a different story about how their own mothers, fathers, and other family members were the first to make them feel insecure about their skin color, hair, or facial features. Before a child is influenced by the media, they simply feel the love or lack of love and affection from their family. Research suggests that, “racialized dynamics within [families] can compromise subjective well-being in ways that are more devastating than structural inequality” (Hordge-Freeman, 2013, p. 14). The pain you feel when your own family rejects you can be far worse than how you feel about any images you may see in the media or any issues you may face outside of the home. Images in the media and negative reactions from non-family members are often just reminders and reinforcers of what we’ve learned about ourselves at home from our families. That’s not always the case, but too often it is.

If you’re tired of colorism in your family and colorism in general, I want to share with you some practical tips for dealing with colorism in families. My main goal for providing these tips is to help us protect the young people and the children in our families, but these tips could also provide relief for other adults or even for ourselves.

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1. Be COURAGEOUS.

It will take a lot of courage to stand up to family when you witness acts of colorism. Often times you’ll be criticized for being too uptight or for being a party pooper. Family may start to whisper about you, and some may even start to avoid you. You’ll get eye rolls and deep sighs (Oh! Here she goes again!). Prepare yourself for the backlash (because there will be backlash). But be encouraged by the fact that as uncomfortable as you might feel when you speak out in your family, it’s not as bad as children being made to feel uncomfortable in their own skin.

2. Know the perpetrators of colorism in families.

Because it’s difficult to always be vigilant (I mean, family is the one place where we should be able to let our guard down sometimes, even if just a little), it helps to know which family members are perpetrators of colorism. That way, you can prepare yourself when you’re around them, and be more relaxed when you’re not.

3. Don’t let “jokes” about skin tone go unaddressed.

People often disguise their hatred with humor. They know it’s unacceptable to state their negative opinions directly, so they turn them into jokes. That way they can say what they really feel, and if anyone tries to call them out on it, they can defend themselves by saying “it’s just a joke.”

But we’re too clever to believe that. Don’t laugh at such “jokes.” You can simply respond by saying, “Jokes are supposed to be funny, and that isn’t funny.” Or you can reaffirm the opposite of what the joke suggests. If the joke suggests that a certain skin color, hair type, or facial feature is unattractive, merely respond by saying that it is, in fact, just as attractive as any other.

4. Spread the love.

colorism speaker promo

One of the most common manifestations of colorism in families is merely gushing over the looks of one particular individual (usually a child). If a baby or a child is light skinned with straight or loosely curled hair, certain family members can’t seem to help themselves. They make much ado about how pretty the child is and they like to show them off to other family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers. The lack of such attention and appreciation to other children in the family with darker skin and more Afrocentric features is obvious. People may not think it’s obvious, but it is.

Spread the love. Make sure every child in the room hears something positive about how they look and who they are.

5. Be aware.

In cases where colorism escalates from casual remarks to actual neglect and abuse, families should care enough to notice and do something about it. A lot of times we refuse to see what’s going on because we’re afraid of what we’re obligated to do if we know, or because we want to believe that our relatives could never be capable of such things. But if we ignore the mistreatment, then we’re complicit.

colorism healing swag    

6. Be a mentor.

Sometimes it’s more effective to deal with people one-on-one. If you suspect that a younger person in your family is insecure about how they look, spend extra time with them. Have conversations and do activities that reaffirm their beauty and worth. Let them know that you understand what they’re going through and that they can talk to you about how they feel.

Similarly, if you know that a family member is a frequent perpetrator of colorism, pull them aside and let them know how their comments or actions are hurting the family.

7. Check yourself.

You know what Micheal Jackson said (I’m starting with the man in the mirror) and what Gandhi said (be the change you want to see in the world) and what Mathew 7:5 says (first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye). This goes for all of us, including me as a write this post and manage this blog. We must all watch our own attitudes, comments, and reactions if we’re going to be the role models in our families and call the people we love to a higher standard of love.

8. Be consistent.

Too often, we try something once and then give up when we don’t see full results right away. Resist the urge to say, Well, I tried to tell them, but nothing’s changed, so I give up. I’m just not going to say anything anymore. You may not see the payoff right away, but one day your young son or daughter, niece or nephew, brother or sister, will tell you how you impacted their lives by standing up for them when others were putting them down.

Can we do it? Can we create change with one person, one family at a time? I think we can if we all commit to it and support each other. What’s your experience with colorism in families?

Hordge-Freeman, E. (2013, May). What’s love got to do with it?: racial features, stigma and socialization in Afro-Brazilian families. Ethnic and Racial Studies, 1-17.

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What can We Do about Skin Bleaching around the World?

And it all comes down to this question. Now that I’ve given an overview of skin bleaching around the world (and perhaps prompted you to continue your own research), I want to dedicate an entire post to exploring possible solutions to the skin bleaching culture around the world, which I call an epidermal epidemic. ColorismHealing.org reports on the current state of things, but we’re always looking forward and focusing on progress, what we can do to evolve beyond the status quo.

I don’t want to make this sound easy. It’s colossal. Our fight will be a long, challenging fight. The solutions may sound obvious, but their effectiveness does not require newness; it merely requires commitment.

Skin bleaching around the world has taken root and embedded itself in the very fabric of many people’s lives. It’s a global phenomenon propagated by multiple forces, many of them subtle and covert, and thus practically invisible. For this reason, it takes multiple tactics working in tandem to really bring down the global skin bleaching infrastructure.

Education

Spread information about skin bleaching around the world.

We must share the dangers of skin bleaching, the history of it, current practices, demographic and geographical profiles, the manufacturing and distribution of products, and chemical breakdowns of common products. Again, many people have been sharing this information for years. One source of information I recommend is The Journal of Pan African Studies, vol. 4, no. 4, June 2011, which is a special issue dedicated to skin bleaching. We must continue and expand the effort to get this information to the world.

Focus on media literacy.

Skin bleaching as an epidemic is commonly spread through advertisements and various media such as billboards, commercials, and magazines. Therefore, it’s important to teach people how to recognize the the manipulation (“persuasive techniques”) of the media. The Dark is Beautiful campaign, for example, hosts media literacy workshops. Of course, merely knowing the media’s strategies doesn’t make us immune to them. However when we’re educated, we can be more critical consumers and not be blindly persuaded.

Promote education in general.

As an educator, and someone who’s passionate about education, I just believe that this should always be a part of the solution to social problems. We must promote quantity as well as quality of education. By quantity I mean more people and more education. By quality I mean that education should be rigorous, and it should develop the entire person to live up to their positive potential and to be a productive global-citizen.

Empowerment

I’m using empowerment here to mean a kind of internal energy and drive within an individual and/or community. I also like to call it self-awareness and self-esteem. I’ll use a quote from from an earlier post on the difference between racism and colorism:

“Colorism among people of the same race is also considered a form of internalized racism. After centuries of being conditioned to view white/european as superior and their own race and culture as inferior, many people were broken and eventually believed in and acted according to that dichotomy….

If we internalize racism, we lose our will and our ability to fight the external system of racism. If we don’t value, respect, and love ourselves, why would we put up a fight when others don’t either. If we believe that white people are superior, then we won’t bat an eye at the disparities in education and wealth.”

Like I said before, we must attack colorism and skin bleaching on multiple fronts simultaneously. The work that it takes to change people’s attitudes about race and skin color is just as important (and equally challenging) as any other aspect of what we do. This takes commitment. Our psyches weren’t damaged overnight, and they won’t be rebuilt overnight either.

Economics

In the global system of capitalism, corporations seem like Goliaths that are impossible to defeat. But the best way to send them a message and affect their practices is to affect their sales. Mind you, I’m not an economist, but I use models of what’s been effective before.

National and local governments can act.

Some governments have banned the sale of certain products, which is a good start. We also need them to ban the manufacturing of such products, because we know that in places like the EU mercury soap is banned from sale, but can be manufactured there as long as it’s exported (Glenn, 2008, p. 285). Finally, local authorities have to enforce the bans and intercept smuggling.

The people have power.

Other traditional ways of bringing about change include boycotts, petitions, and peaceful demonstrations. It’s a foundational concept in business that if the people stop buying, then the company has to change or it will bleed money.

But boycotts are especially tricky, especially if they’re not organized in a transnational way. If one city or country effectively boycotts a company that promotes fair skin as the ideal, that company may be able to stay afloat because of their other international markets. Multinational companies often disguise themselves by operating under different names in various countries, but a little digging will always lead back to the parent company.

Conclusion

As Evelyn Glenn (2008) writes:

“One often-proposed solution to the problem is reeducation that stresses the diversity of types of beauty and desirability and that valorizes darker skin shades, so that lightness/whiteness is dislodged as the dominant standard….  Focusing only on individual consciousness and motives distracts attention from the very powerful economic forces that help create a yearning for lightness and that offer to fulfill that yearning at a steep price.” (p. 298)

I know I’m repeating myself when I say that we must commit to all of these efforts (and more) simultaneously and for the long haul. There’s no need for those of us who care about this issue to paralyze the movement by bickering about what should be done first.

I propose that we assemble international committees devoted to various strategies, but all working toward a common goal. We do not have to amalgamate and become one organization, but we can ban together like a sort of UN or NATO working to abolish the practice of skin bleaching around the world.

Just imagine…

Then act.

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The Epidemic of Skin Bleaching Around the World

Personal preferences. Individual lifestyle choices. Freedom… Those are some of the things people call upon to explain and justify their indifference about the things other people do. When we talk about something like skin bleaching around the world, they say it’s no different than pale people getting tans. Well, they’re right about that. Tanning and bleaching are very similar in that both can be deadly, especially for those who can’t afford vetted, high-quality bleaches. Of course most people survive these practices, but not without long-term damage to their skin and overall health. There’s also the literal cost of skin bleaching. People continue to exploit colorism and racism for profit. So, I ask: Fair skin at what cost?

nadinola lightening cream

Harmful Effects of Skin Bleaching

The source of danger when tanning, of course, is overexposure to UV rays. The source of danger when bleaching is overexposure to certain chemicals.

Throughout history, among different groups of people, and in various places around the globe, people have created a myriad of concoctions that supposedly lighten the skin. In Europe, certain whitening cosmetics once contained white lead which could cause symptoms as serious as blindness or paralysis (Blay, 2011, p. 21). In addition to lead, many skin whiteners around the world use corticosteroids, hydroquinone, and mercury. Extended exposure to these chemicals (like lathering it on one’s skin on a daily basis) can have harmful effects such as neurological damage, kidney disease, ochronosis, eczema, bacterial and fungal infections, skin atrophy, and Cushing’s Syndrome (Glenn, 2008, p. 285).

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What’s worse? Once exposed to some of these chemicals, the body forms a type of dependency, making it difficult to stop using the product because of adverse reactions when you do. Afua Hirsch (2012) quotes Dr Fatou Fall, a dermatologist from the Institute of Social Hygiene in Dakar: “Even when they discover the side-effects and want to stop using the creams, they find they cannot stop. It’s only when you stop that the skin changes and begins to become completely burned” (para. 12).

Artificially fair skin is costing people their health, but in many cases it also costs them the very thing they were so desperate to attain—confidence.

You might shrug it off. So what if they want to engage in self-destructive behavior? So what if a few people choose to take the risk of doing permanent damage to themselves?

Well, it’s a whole lot more than a few, and it’s not just “those people.”

Fair Skin has Another Cost

Large numbers of people in every region of the world use some type of skin lightning product. Some countries may not have much use for the stuff, but they’re nonetheless in the business of manufacturing it. The issue of skin bleaching, therefore, is not about “them.” It’s about us. 

With the rise of the internet, the world players in the skin bleaching market have become even more connected. Companies have new inroads for marketing and distribution, and consumers have greater access to information and products (Glenn, 2008, p. 283). This is one reason why I’m such an advocate for using the internet as a means of counteracting, the obsession with lighter skin. Hence this blog and others like Dark is Beautiful, which is based in India.

Evelyn Glenn (2008) writes about how skin lightening is “interwoven into the world economic system and its transnational circuits of products, capital, culture, and people” and about the “media and messages, cultural themes and symbols, used to create the desire for skin lightening products” (p. 282). These products are manufactured in some countries and exported or smuggled into others. The media messages are conceived and created by a few individuals and are projected throughout the world. In fact, Distribution of mercury soap has been illegal in the EU since 1989, but it’s manufacture has remained legal as long as the product is exported” (p. 285).

To be blunt, I interpret this type of legislation as race- or ethnicity-based capitalism. If it were merely capitalism, then they would allow the mercury soap to be sold anywhere, including Europe. However, the governments and the manufacturers in those countries know the dangers of mercury and want to protect their own people, but are quite willing to make a profit at the expense of people’s health in other nations.

According to Glenn (2008), “the desire for lighter skin and the use of skin bleaches is accelerating in places where modernization and the influence of western capitalism and culture are most prominent” (p. 295).

And so, the new face of imperialism can be seen in magazines, on billboards, and on Movie, TV, and computer screens around the globe. The skin bleaching market is similar to colonialism in that the promotion of white superiority allows a few powerful and wealthy groups to become increasingly wealthy and powerful at the cost of masses of other people.

In 2012, Indians reportedly consumed an estimated 233 tonnes of bleaching products (Rajesh, 2013), and in terms of sheer numbers, Indians make up the largest skin bleaching market. In some African cities, as many as 52-77% of women use skin lighteners. A Synovate market survey in 2004 showed that 50% of respondents in the Philippines reported using skin lighteners. In places like Japan, China, Taiwan, and Korea, global surveys report that 20-50% of the of respondents had used skin bleaches and that 20-50% would use more if they could afford it. Mercury laden creams are still widely available in parts of Latin America, and in the U.S. women of all races, including Europeans and whites, have long legacies of skin whitening or lightening. (Glenn, 2008, pp. 284-295). And these indicators probably underestimate the practice of skin bleaching around the globe.

I present this information for people who might’ve thought skin bleaching was an isolated, marginal problem in limited places. It’s not. I reiterate that skin bleaching is a global issue with well-known roots.

The Roots of Skin Bleaching Around the World

One piece of research that shifted the way I think about white supremacy in general and skin bleaching in particular is that the practice actually began in Europe among the Europeans themselves (as opposed to immigrants from Southern nations). According to Dr. Yaba Blay (2011), “much of the history of European aesthetic practices is a history of whitening skin” (p. 20). Because of Queen Elizabeth I’s efforts to make her skin appear ghostly white, nearly transparent, extremely pale skin became known as the “Elizabethan ideal of beauty.” This ideal and practice of skin whitening was carried over to the Americas by female European settlers (p. 21).

This information supports the idea that skin bleaching is an issue that affects everyone. It shows that white supremacy even negatively affects white people. It shows that any ideal of physical beauty is arbitrary, unattainable, and downright foolish. But back to the history of it all.

The most basic and effective propaganda was founded on the dichotomy of white vs. black and light vs. dark, probably because they were and still are viewed as pure opposites in many cultures. Glenn (2008) explains that, “In Southern Africa, colorism is just one of the negative inheritances of European colonialism. The ideology of white supremacy that European colonists brought included the association of blackness with primitiveness, lack of civilization, unrestrained sexuality, pollution, and dirt” (p. 284). This was an effective type of messaging against black people around the world, but also effective for any group of darker skinned or brown people.

In desperate attempts to escape these negative associations, to escape various forms of discrimination, and to escape other concrete forms of oppression, people try to attain “light-skinned priviliege” in various ways, skin bleaching being one of them (p. 282).Blay (2011) lists the most common reasons that Ghanian and Tanzanian women give for using skin lighteners, including:

  • to remove blemishes and imperfections and to counteract effects of the sun
  • to appear and feel clean
  • to appear white, European, and “beautiful”
  • to please a partner, grab attention, or attract potential mates
  • to impress peers, appear sophisticated and modern, and gain economic and social mobility. (p. 22)

Among some African American women who participate in internet forums, the goal is to have light skin not white skin. They also state the desire to even out skin tone, remove blemishes, or to be two or three shades lighter like many American celebrities such as Halle Berry or Beyonce (Glenn, 2008, p. 288).

Young Filipinas who participate in such internet forums are similar in that they don’t look to white Europeans and Americans as the ideal. They see Japanese and Koreans as having the desirable skin tone, or “Spanish-  or Chinese-appearing (and light-skinned) Filipina celebrities, such as Michelle Reis, Sharon Kuneta, or Claudine Baretto” (Glenn, 2008, p. 291).

As I stated before, imperialism continues in a more high-tech and glamorous fashion, but it’s still the basic practice of presenting one thing as the ideal, so that you can capitalize off of people trying to attain that ideal.

Historians and anthropologists have disagreed about whether world cultures favored lighter skin tones before European colonialism, but the obvious source of large scale skin bleaching around the world today is  a form of global capitalism that exploits the historic ideology of white superiority.

Read Next: What can We Do About Skin Bleaching Around the World?

References

Blay, Y. A. (2011, June). Skin Bleaching and Global White Supremacy:By Way of Introduction. The Journal of Pan African Studies, 4(4), 4-46.

Glenn, E. N. (2008, April). Yearning for Lightness Transnational Circuits in the Marketing and Consumption of Skin Lighteners. Gender & Society, 22(3), 281-302.

Hirsch, A. (2012). The Guardian.

Rajesh, M. (2013). The Guardian.

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Who Says Colorism Doesn’t Exist? And What Should We Say To Them?

In our efforts to combat colorism, there’s pushback from people who flat out deny that colorism is real. They claim that colorism doesn’t exist, that it’s just a make-believe issue, just jealousy, just a coincidence, etc. So just who are these people that would make such an outrageous claim?

Who says colorism doesn’t exist?

Scholars too blinded by “the research” to see what’s really happening

I witnessed this kind of denial when Soledad O’Brien’s Who is Black in America? aired on CNN. A couple of prominent black American scholars pointed to the lack of historical evidence to prove that things like the paper bag test ever existed, and so they totally berated the entire discussion of colorism.

Although there’s lots of evidence to suggest that these practices did indeed go on, it doesn’t matter. As I tweeted to one of these infuriated scholars: How can you listen to and watch young children express such disdain for dark skin, many of whom are dark, and not acknowledge the problem? How can you listen to and watch children express that light skin is more worthy simply because it’s close to white, and not acknowledge that there’s a problem?

Attention All Scholars: No matter the historical research, there’s plenty of empirical evidence that proves colorism is a contemporary problem around the globe.

People who think their experience is universal or have to “see it to believe it”

A few years back when I first ventured into open conversation about colorism, a dark skinned girl I knew in high school got ticked off with me. She cited her own experience as a dark skinned woman as the reason she doesn’t believe colorism exists. According to her, she’d never been treated differently, and people like me are simply looking for something to be angry about.

People make the same arguments for why racism in general is made up.  They say, “Well I’ve never been discriminated against” or “I’ve never witnessed discrimination” as proof that it isn’t real.

Well, I can think of all sorts of bad things I’ve never experienced or witnessed (kidnapping, for example), yet I’d be pretty misguided to assume that those things are made up.

Those who refuse to own up to their complicity or give up their privilege

I never realized it until I was talking with someone who was conducting research on colorism for her doctorate. After telling her about the people who get angry when we talk about colorism, or who flat out deny it exists, she explained that those people usually benefit in some way from the existence of colorism, and so they block any conversations about it to maintain the status quo. It is probably often a subconscious thing, but it makes sense because most humans do this when we feel like our relative power is being threatened. And the people who directly or indirectly benefit aren’t always who you’d first suspect.

Dark skinned people who don’t want to be cast as the victim

Again, this is a similar form of denial that people express about racism in general. They see any talk of colorism as an “excuse” that holds people back. They put all the burden on the individual to “just get over it,” and they refuse to acknowledge the role of any structural, institutional, or social factors. Usually these types have achieved some level of relative success and think that if they’ve “made it” then it must be the individuals who are defective and not the society.

Folks who lack the courage to be honest

We may be brave in one aspect and cowardly in another. We all have a seed of cowardice and a seed of courage within us, and it’s up to us which one we nurture.

There are many people who are actually afraid to talk about race and colorism. It makes people uncomfortable and even angry, and the people-pleasers don’t want to upset anyone or lose any friends.

Regardless of what they really feel and think on an instinctual level, they’ll act like everything’s fine. They simply want to fit in, and that means not having controversial opinions.

What should we say to them?

Nothing.

That’s right. I wrote this entire post just to say that we should say nothing to those people who are willfully ignorant. We should be spending our energy where it counts: helping each other heal and stopping colorism from being passed on to future generations.

We should say nothing to them because actions speak louder than words. We say all that we need to say by continuing our conversations on colorism in very public and global forums. They throw verbal fire at us to get us to shut up, so by not shutting up, by continuing to speak on the things that upset them, we’re essentially saying: Colorism does exist, and despite your attacks, the anti-colorism movement presses forward.

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Age Appropriate Discussions on Colorism

I stumbled upon a useful article on Parents.com titled, “Talking About Race, Age-by-Age.” Although it’s not specifically about colorism, I think it’s extremely relevant since we have to talk to children about colorism in the context of race in general. Discussions on colorism and many other topics are often difficult for parents, especially the part about gauging how much children know or should know at certain ages.

The author of the article, Kara Corridan, uses the research of Dr. Rebecca Bigler, who breaks down the developmental stages of racial perception and understanding into four different age groups.

6 months – 1 year: Children can recognize differences in skin color and hair texture. At this age it’s important for parents to expose their children to diverse races and complexions.

2 – 3 years: Children become more vocal and may start commenting on skin color. Respond directly and calmly, gently correcting or affirming. It’s also fine to bring up differences in skin color, particularly during activities where differentiation is already occurring (i.e. “This woman is wearing blue. This woman is wearing red. This woman has brown skin.”)

4 – 6 years: At this age children start to assign positive or negative traits to people based on their cultural group. This can occur intraracially (within racial groups) as well. Children may make comments like, “Eww! Her skin is dirty.” The best thing to do in these cases is to again respond directly and calmly, correcting the error and affirming the worth of all skin tones.

7 – 8 years: Children in this age range become more open to the idea that we’re all different yet alike at the same time. Stress this fact whenever possible.

The advice stops at eight years old because many studies show that by this age attitudes and perceptions about race tend to stabilize, not solidify necessarily, but stabilize, which adds urgency to the idea of having discussions on colorism and race sooner than later. It’s never too early to start making an impact on this aspect of your child’s life, but it’s never too late either. Have the courage to get the conversation going.

To read the original article by Corridan, click here.

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When Should Parents Discuss Colorism With Their Children?

Because of the nature of this site, I’m making the assumption that the audience is already convinced that they should talk about colorism, so I’m merely exploring the question: When Should Parents Discuss Colorism With Their Children?

I have no conscious memory of this, but my mother often tells the story of when she first heard me vocalize my awareness of colorism.

I was five. Some women were complimenting my sister about how beautiful she was, and I whispered under my breath that they were only saying that about my sister because she was light skinned.

I tell this story as part of this piece because most people assume that a five year old is too young to understand that people are treated differently because of race and skin color. But research says that children can recognize racial differences as early as six months old and can vocalize and express racial awareness and even bias as early as three years old. I have no doubt that if I was able to verbalize that comment at the age of five, then I must have been aware of colorism before then. That just happened to be the first observable moment of my awareness.

Too many parents underestimate their children’s ability to understand the politics of skin color, but small children are perhaps, as a matter of necessity and survival, the keenest observers of their social environments. We talk about how toddlers are sponges and pick up on the most subtle clues from their environment. If you’ve ever seen your child mimicking adult behavior and it surprised you, then you know how true this is.

And it’s not just you they’re learning from. They learn from other adults, siblings, playmates, relatives, teachers, media, etc. With that in mind, it’s easy to see how they could be picking up on patterns and making inferences about skin color as part of their developmental process.

There are a lot of research based resources about how and when children learn about race that I want to apply to colorism.

A short piece in The University Record published by the University of Michigan says:

“Children are not color-blind. Nor is their understanding of racial identity superficial. Children as young as age three have a complex understanding of the way in which society constructs racial categories, and that understanding goes well beyond surface appearances.

Simply telling kids that race doesn’t matter isn’t going to be very effective, since they obviously think it does in a couple of non-trivial respects.

To combat racism, we need to understand its basis. It’s not just a problem afflicting a few bigots. It’s a way of thinking about the kinds of people there are in the world that goes far beyond surface appearances and gives rise to invidious comparisons. And it’s a way of thinking that preschoolers have already begun to develop.”

Another relevant piece, “Children are Not Colorblind: How Children Learn Race,” written by Erin N. Winkler adds to the conversation:

“Children pick up on the ways in which whiteness is normalized and privileged in U.S. society. What does this mean? Consciously or unconsciously, middle-class white culture is presented as a norm or a standard in the United States in terms of appearance, beauty, language, cultural practices, food, and so on. Tatum (1997) argues that this message is so prevalent in our society it is like ‘smog in the air. Sometimes it is so thick it is visible, other times it is less apparent, but always, day in and day out, we are breathing it in’. For very young children, this ‘smog’ comes in the form of picture books, children’s movies, television, and children’s songs, which all include subtle messages that whiteness is preferable.

The lesson for caregivers of young children is: Do not shush children or shut down the conversation. Instead, engage in open, honest, frequent, and age-appropriate conversation about race, racial differences, and even racial inequity and racism. Research has shown that such conversations are associated with lower levels of bias in young children (Katz, 2003). Let go of the notion that you are “putting ideas in their heads” by talking about race; as we have seen, research shows that young children notice race and draw conclusions about difference on their own.”

While these reports are about race in general and not specifically about colorism, I think the concept is easily transferrable. I’m a real-life example of a once young girl who probably could’ve benefited from a few discussions of colorism at the age of five, four, or even three. It’s clear here that I’m advocating for talking about colorism sooner rather than later, but in the end, it’s up to parents to decide.

 

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Please Let Me Testify: An Open Letter to Rachel Jeantel

First, thank you for having the courage to take the stand, for having the courage to testify on behalf of your slain brother, a responsibility too many of us have been shucking for way too long. Most of us choose to plead the fifth, afraid that we’ll be judged just as you have been, and in our silence, the blasts of gunshots resound ever louder right in our own backyards.

I hope that other young people are not gagged by their fear of malicious tweets, but are encouraged by your example, encouraged to speak up and share their sides of the story, whatever that story might be. I pray that more black girls speak up and tell their stories. There are hosts of people, who try to dismiss, disparage, and downright silence voices like yours, but I tell you, little sister, you have been heard.

Second, not only do I hear you, I also see you, and you are beautiful.

I know that the mere color of a person’s skin and a person’s class too often discredit everything they say and do in the eyes of the prejudiced ones. I know that racism is the reason so many Black and non-bBlack people have come to consciously and subconsciously devalue dark skin. I know that’s the reason they feel so comfortable maligning you in your moment of grief.

But I’m feeling you. How could you not be annoyed and frustrated in the face of these men, who in many ways embody the source of an entire community’s anger? How could you not be frustrated and bitter about these men who are claiming that your beloved friend deserved to die, and that the person who murdered him was actually the real victim and deserves to live the rest of his life peacefully and free? When I saw the demeanor and heard the tone of the prosecutor, I knew exactly why you rolled your eyes. I’ve often rolled my eyes at people who are trying to “play me,” trying to be condescending and mocking.

Some of us only have respect for those who reflect the image of who we think we are or wish we could be. Some of us believe that only those who speak like us have a right to speak, and we shut our ears to songs sung by birds of other feathers. Some of us think that only those who look like us have a right to be seen, that only those who live like us have a right to live.

Rachel, I don’t know you, but I’m all too familiar with the way our culture breeds bullies and the way we’re taught and encouraged to tear each other down and rip each other apart. I’m all too familiar with the way society has to make examples out of a few so that the rest of us will be too terrified to simply be ourselves and say what we need to say. Although we’ve all been the bully before, we don’t have to accept the worst in ourselves. We don’t have to accept the worst in our world.

I hope that justice wins. I pray that you, the young vessel that was left to speak on behalf of someone who can no longer speak on behalf of himself, I hope that you find the hope and the healing that you need to go forward from this period in your life and always be beautiful and brave.

Originally posted on S. L. Writes.

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3 Tips for Teaching Kids About Colorism

“Look both ways before you cross the street.”

“Don’t touch the stove.”

“Choose your friends wisely.”

“Always wear your seatbelt.”

“Don’t talk to strangers.”

Sound familiar? That’s because parents and adults are known for teaching children how to survive in a potentially dangerous world. Parents know that if they don’t teach their children to look both ways before crossing the street, their children might very well die in the process of learning that lesson on their own. (An answer to the “I have to learn from my own mistakes” mentality.) Most parents know that if they don’t teach their child about sex, lots of other people will be all too happy to teach them.

Aside from basic survival skills, good parents know they also have to teach their children social skills and moral behavior. “No, Tiffany, it’s not okay to scratch your brother because you wanted to play with his toys.” We teach kids to play nice, to share, to clean up after themselves, to tell the truth, and to help old ladies across the street. I would include giving up your seat to the elderly, but parents  obviously don’t teach that anymore.

Parents know that each child has a particular nature. Most parents know that it’s their responsibility to nurture.

My question: So why do parents neglect to teach their children how to value all skin colors (ethnicities, languages, etc.)?

Just as we have to nurture a spirit of giving and sharing in most kids, just as we have to nurture a spirit of hard work and responsibility in most kids, we also have to nurture a spirit of acceptance and appreciation, even love.

Below, I present 3 ideas on what might assist in nurturing such a spirit in our families, especially young children.

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How can we foster in our children, a spirit of acceptance, appreciation, and even love for all shades of human skin?

1) Sort out your own attitude/feelings about colorism. 

This way you can lead and teach by example.

Ta-Nehisi Coates posted about “Dark Girls” on The Atlantic in June of this year. As a kid Coates expressed preference for “light-skin girls,” and in the post he recalls his emotions after being scolded by his mother when he was twelve:

“I remember being really pissed off at my mother at first (“It’s my choice!”) Then a few weeks later, as I turned it over in my head, a bit embarrassed (“I wish I hadn’t said that”) then deeply ashamed (“I wish I didn’t think that”) and finally incredibly curious (“Why do I think that anyway?”)”

Know what you think, feel, and believe about skin color. Dig deep, because we all have that “I’m not a racist” ego we must deal with. Consciously, you might tell yourself “I’m colorblind,” but notice when you’re compelled to comment on how pretty a child is (or their hair or eyes). How does the child usually look?* Notice what you see every time you close your eyes and imagine your ideal mate, or your ideal children.

Before we can heal the world, we must begin to heal as individuals. You don’t have to be perfect to help others, but at least try to be aware of your imperfections and blind spots. I’m not saying everyone’s a closet racist, but if you resist self-reflection, maybe there’s something you’re afraid to face.

If you find that you had/have skin color bias, you can use yourself as a starting point in discussing skin color with your kids or other young people.

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2) Talk candidly about colorism with your children. 

They don’t need a lecture. It could be as simple as letting them hear you work through your own color biases. Like Coates, you may point out examples of when you expressed bias in the past and how you’ve changed/are changing. It could be as simple as looking at family photos with your kids and saying, “It’s wonderful that there are so many shades of skin in our family.”

Example: While watching a movie with his family, James notices some colorism at play.** Though the movie is supposedly “targeted” to African Americans, all the major female roles are played by actresses who have very fair skin. Some have light colored eyes and long wavy hair. A few dark skinned women make appearances in roles that are clearly less flattering. James is slightly uncomfortable but lets it go thinking that his kids are too young to be aware of such nuanced casting issues. Then James notices that his kids burst out in uncontrollable laughter at the ridiculously comic performance of a dark-skinned character. He cringes, but thinks, it was funny, and the director intended for people to laugh. Surely they would have laughed no matter what color the character was. The movie ends with the leading lady riding off into her happily ever after, validated as the fairest of them all (and she’s quite smart and witty too, and skinny).

Everyone seems to have enjoyed the movie, but James wonders how it influenced his kids’ thinking. He finally decides to say, “That was a fun movie. I wonder what would’ve happened if [funny character’s name] had switched places with [main character’s name].’”

James’ kids look at him funny and reply in utter disbelief:

“No way, dad. [funny character’s name] is too stupid and ugly.”

“Yeah [main character’s name] is so smart and like really, really pretty. OMG she’s so awesome.”

Even though “it’s just a movie” James sees that his kids don’t have the critical thinking skills to see it as “just a movie.” He takes this opportunity to help them develop some critical thinking skills, hoping they won’t internalize the latent message that light skin is good and dark skin is bad.

He says, “You know when actors and actresses play in movies, they can play any part. Right now I could pretend to be a stern judge,” and he makes a stern face and pretends to bang a gavel. “Or I can pretend to be a silly clown,” and he does a wobbly dance with a crazy face.

The kids laugh and join in the fun. One of them says, “I can pretend to be Spiderman!” and shoots pretend cobwebs from his upturned wrists.

James is excited that they’re getting it. Now he must relate this to skin color. “So just because someone plays an ugly or stupid character in a movie doesn’t mean they are stupid or ugly. [Funny character’s name] could play the role of the most beautiful princess, or the most successful doctor, or the smartest politician.”

James’ kids still look skeptical, so he keeps it real with them. “When I was your age I thought only light-skinned girls with long hair could be pretty and smart in movies and in real life. But I learned that wasn’t true. Now I see that all skin colors are beautiful. No matter what I see in movies or on TV I know they’re just acting, and [funny character’s name] is just as beautiful and smart in real life as anyone else, including [main character’s name].”

James’ kids take this in. They process it. He lets it go for now, but the seeds of critical thought, acceptance, and appreciation have been planted. He can continue to nurture them as they grow.

3) Give them positive exposure to all skin tones.

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One inspiring mother wrote an article on New Latina titled, “I’m White, My Daughter is Latina, and I Buy Black Dolls” by Chantilly Patiño. She eloquently sates:

“Maybe it’s not a big deal to some, but for a woman who’s raising a daughter of color, it’s important to me!

I’m aware my daughter is Latina…yeah, she’s not black, but I don’t want her to grow up like I did. Not seeing positive images of people of color…including (but not limited to) people who look like her.  If I look back to my childhood, the only positive image I can recall is the Cosby show…and that’s a shame.  I still love that show, but even today…programing like that is hard to come by.

I buy black dolls for my daughter because I want her to understand the value of everyone, regardless of color. I buy black dolls because I know that the media is filled with negative images and it presents a challenge for our kids to grow up feeling good about dark skin.  I buy black dolls because I want to change the norm.”

WOW!!! Go Sister.

Because colorism and racism are so prevalent, we don’t have to try hard at all to find positive exposure to lighter skin tones. So, survey the experiences your child typically has and see if they include enough positive exposure to darker skin tones. If not, I have suggestions for how to create positive exposure to darker skin tones. This is the practical, get it done today, type of thing. You probably know what I’m about to say. I suggest that you share the following things with your kids, depending on their ages, to nurture their acceptance of all skin tones, especially darker skin, since that exposure is more likely to be lacking or negative:

  • picture books with positive images of characters with dark skin
  • chapter books with well developed, dark-skinned characters
  • magazines with images of and articles by people with darker skin
  • festivals that expose them to the heritages of dark-skinned people
  • museum visits that teach them about the history of dark-skinned people
  • outings to locations known to draw diverse groups of people
  • quality time with family and friends of many skin tones, including darker ones
  • dolls with darker shades of skin
  • television shows featuring dark-skinned people in lead roles, or positive and substantial supporting roles
  • movies featuring dark-skinned people in lead roles, or positive and substantial supporting roles

I’m  sure there’s more, but this is what I’ve come up with for now. Feel free to add suggestions in a comment.

NOTES:

*I think colorism is most acute in people’s reactions to babies and young children. Adults are more likely to comment on the relative prettiness or cuteness of children. When colorism is present, dark-skinned children usually aren’t lauded for their beauty, but as they get older, they may be recognized for having grown up to be beautiful women or handsome men.

**Two excellent examples of biased casting of the nature described in James’ story are the movies Coming to America and Guess Who. I remember watching these films, Coming to America as a young child and later Guess Who as a young adult, and feeling physically sick about the blatant colorism in their casting of female characters.

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Light Skinned Mother, Dark Skinned Daughter: an Interview

For this chat, I interviewed my mother. This was eye opening for me because in our face-to-face conversation I learned about details of my childhood that I have no memory of. I hope you enjoy a new voice in this conversation.

Do you consider your self dark-skinned, light-skinned, or neither?

Honestly, I still don’t consider myself a light-skinned African American. I may be a light brown but certainly not light-skinned. I attribute that to where I grew up. There you had a large population of really light-skinned African Americans that sometimes looked more white than black. We called them mulattoes.

What moments in your youth made you most aware of colorism?

I heard on a daily basis comments like, “Girl I don’t like that old black boy” or “That’s why yo momma so black.” It was everywhere. You were aware but just didn’t make a big deal about it. You kept it in, but you thought about it. Lighter skinned girls and guys were always considered cuter and many times smarter. The key is I knew many of them weren’t smarter than I was, so I asked myself how come they get to be selected for this or that.

What do you think were some of the reasons you didn’t make a big deal about it or kept it in even when you were thinking about it?

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Because those instances were in my youth, and it was such a part of living that I didn’t think about trying to do something about it back then. Who would you speak out to?

Was there ever a moment in your life that you participated in or agreed with or supported this type of bias? Why or why not?

No, because I knew it wasn’t right. I had dark-skinned people in my family, and I didn’t feel it was a reason to criticize somebody. I never heard my mother speak in those terms with anyone or about anyone. None of my family really spoke that way. I never wished I had lighter skin or that I was white. Part of my youth I did rebel against people thinking that black is ugly because of the generation I grew up in, being a teenager in the 70’s with “black is beautiful” and afros. Perhaps I grew more comfortable as I matured into my teens. Perhaps I wasn’t as empowered as a younger person.

Have you ever dealt with colorism in the process of raising your children? If so, what kinds of situations arose and how did you handle them?

Yes. You see, I have two dark-skinned children and one lighter skinned child. Fortunately for me, they loved each other so much that I never had to deal with this issue in the relationship between them, but definitely from outside. I was asked several times if these were my kids. I would pridefully say, “Yes, indeed these are my babies,” and I would pull them close to me. I knew what people were thinking.

Each of my dark-skinned children had incidents at school where they were called black or charcoaled. My daughter was being called black and charcoaled every day by an African American male child. I thought it was important to let his parents know what he was doing and perhaps make them aware of the need to correct his thinking about his own race. I took my little girl to his house and spoke to the parents. Surprisingly, the mother was very receptive and handled it well. I think that day was an experience all of us will never forget. I know my daughter won’t.

I would constantly let my children know how beautiful they were, and that I wasn’t just saying that to make them feel better. It was true no matter what anyone says, and it was. Especially in the case of my daughter, I recognized and acknowledged her pain. We talked about it; we called it out when we saw it; we didn’t act like it wasn’t happening.

In what ways did your children respond to those situations? How did you observe them grappling with the issue? Did their responses change over time?

It didn’t come up with my male child as much. I don’t think he was as conscious or as affected. I don’t think it crippled them socially or hindered their will to succeed. They definitely didn’t live miserable lives because of it. Sometimes facial expressions when people would make comments let me know that they knew. I also just knew that it exists. They also weren’t afraid to talk about it. My daughter verbalized it.

My daughter was five and had already figured out that people said her sister would be able to attract boys easily because she was lighter skinned. At age five she identified her sister’s lighter skin as the reason they were saying that. I didn’t say to her, “Oh, get over it.” I carried that comment in my mind and did what I could so that she could conquer the world.

Why do you think your daughter was aware of this at such a young age?

Some children have a keener sense. Part of it is that I was a culturally aware mom. I didn’t hide that there are prejudices in the world, so that might have brought it to the forefront. Some people are more conscious and think a lot anyway. She was the kind of girl that always had to know why, and she felt free to ask why and that she had the right to let it be known. I can imagine kids whose parents ignore the problem, and the kids who don’t feel that freedom to express themselves.

To the best of your memory, was that incident when your daughter was five the first time you witnessed colorism in her life, or was it just the first time you witnessed her awareness of it?

It goes back for me when they had to stand up in kindergarten for head counts, and two African American girls stood up to be counted as white. I felt sad about that, that no one told those girls that they were black. Even the teacher, who was white, was embarrassed and not sure how to tell them to sit down. That showed a colorism to me, and it stuck with me. Also when they were younger, again, people often asked if they were mine.

Do you recall times when your light-skinned daughter also showed an awareness of skin color or colorism? If so, how early did you observe her awareness?

She wanted to tan at a young age, maybe since middle school. She was aware because, as with me, people always questioned and made a big deal about her siblings being dark. I will say that I don’t think she ever used her skin color to gain privileges or extra attention.

Did you ever deal with colorism in terms of raising your light-skinned daughter, interventions, conversations, etc.?

No. She was always there in our conversations as a family, so she knew how I felt about culture and equality. We talked about how crazy and bothersome it is to always have to explain that these are her siblings.

Where do you think colorism comes from, particularly for African Americans?

For African Americans colorism definitely came from a combination of things. The separation of dark-skinned and light-skinned slaves, the overall portrayal of dark-skinned people as negative in the early movies. We learned way back that the closer to white you were the better chance you had to succeed. [Perhaps we should add that chances for success were better because of racism, not because of inherent or biological superiority.] We learned that the closer to white you were the prettier you were considered to be. It was everywhere.

What sort of remedies can you suggest for this issue of colorism either collectively of individually?

Talk about it. Don’t act like it doesn’t exist and hasn’t existed for a long, long time. Support magazines and television shows that make an effort to show that there is beauty in all skin tones and are not afraid to showcase dark-skinned women and showcase them in a positive way. Be sensitive to how it impacts our girls at early ages. Every chance I get I purpose to tell a dark-skinned little girl how beautiful she is. I do it because it is true.

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Who Does Colorism Affect? Part 2

Who Does Colorism Affect? The trouble with insider/outsider positioning is that it blinds us to the real answer.

If we can only know our very own experiences, then we can know very little.

Any thing that happened before June 6, 1985, I had no experience with. If I have to directly experience something to know it, then I know nothing about almost everything: the Vietnam War, Marcus Garvey, Apartheid, the Holocaust, President Roosevelt, the American Civil War, American slavery, the French Revolution, Egyptian pharos, or Chinese emperors, etc.

Crimes would never be punished. Judges would have to be robbed, murdered, raped, have their property vandalized or set on fire in order for them to believe any victims or witnesses of such crimes.

Saying, “I don’t think colorism or racism exist because I personally have never experienced it, so it can’t possibly exist,” is like saying, “I’ve never been to New Zealand, so I don’t think it exists,” or, “I’ve never been healed from a medical procedure, so I don’t think hospitals are necessary, since they’ve never worked for me personally.”

You can see that experiential knowledge is only a part of our total knowledge.

Avoiding knowledge of a situation is a way to avoid responsibility.

Imagine if white Freedom Riders had said, “Oh, no. We can’t get involved with that because we don’t know anything about being black, and therefore we know nothing about racism.”

Imagine if someone asked me to donate to prostate cancer research and I said, “Oh, no. I can’t get involved or learn more about this because I’ve never had prostate cancer. It’s just not relevant to me.”

Imagine if Brad Pitt had said, “I don’t live in New Orleans and I wasn’t there during Katrina, so why should I get involved with building more homes?”

Imagine if Oprah had said, “I don’t have any sons, I’m not a man, and I’ve never gone to Morehouse, so why should I give over 400 black, male students scholarships to attend?”

Many youth have committed suicide as a result of bullying. Are the bullies outside of the situation, or do they have a critical role in shaping the situation? Do we only address the targets of bullying, or do we also need to address the bullies themselves?

If an employer refuses to hire me because of my sexual orientation, are his actions separate and outside of my experience?

If I step on your foot, are you wrong to say, “Excuse me Sarah, even though you don’t feel my pain, you play an integral role in stopping the pain. It would help a lot if you remove your foot.”?

Bottom Line

Different doesn’t have to equate with inside/outside, part of/not part of, better than/worse than, more than/less than. It’s that very thinking that breeds racism in the first place. You might experience the situation differently from me, but you’re still part of the situation.

A good example of someone who I think understands this is Tim Wise. He’s a white man who speaks, from his perspective, on racism. Though his vantage point is different, his efforts can help alleviate the consequences of racism for everyone.

I hope we can look at the situation of colorism and determine our vantage point, rather than being cynical and insensitive.

Blacks have their share of blemishes, but colorism resulted from the actions of colonial powers, white slave owners, and slave traders, then it was propagated and perpetuated through white owned media.

I hope black people can see that even though we need to heal our own community, we also need to hold non-blacks accountable for creating/maintaining situations where blacks internalize racism as a method of survival (i.e. passing for white to get a job). We can’t improve or eliminate these situations without bringing multiple vantage points to the discussion.

I hope blacks can understand that we’re all affected by it in some way.

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Who is Affected by Colorism? Part 1

There are some misconceptions about who is affected by colorism. Some people think it’s just a dark girl’s problem and that everyone else has no place in the discussion.

There’s strong opposition to letting so-called “outsiders” handle situations that they have “no experience” with. I believe the insider/outsider dichotomy is a slippery slope because it impedes social unity and social responsibility.

In the case of colorism in the United States, the outsiders are usually white people, and the insiders are usually black people. Similar situations might exist in other places with different groups of people.

Among black Americans, a different insider/outsider distinction exists. People assume colorism is unidirectional, only relevant to dark-skinned blacks. I compare this thinking to the notion that racism is only a problem for people of color to deal with.

Racism and products of racism such as colorism are social problems. Period. Not just a dark-skinned girls problem, or a black problem.

Where Might the Insider/Outsider Mentality Come From?

The fact that individuals experience a given situation like racism, doesn’t mean they have the same experience, same interpretation, same perspective, or same vantage point of the situation. (See the movie Vantage Point.)

In fact, some vantage points may be so distant, or so far on the periphery, that it leads some to believe the situation doesn’t exist at all. They just can’t see it from where they are. Unfortunately, some still are not convinced even if others close to the situation try to give an account. But anyway…

This relative closeness to a situation and the varied experiences that result is probably where the insider/outsider mentality stems from, and I completely understand that. Especially when our inability to see from another’s vantage point often leads to cynicism and insensitivity.

I believe people cling to the insider/outsider mentality because of the insensitivity or callousness with which others handle discussions about situations they were too far away from to actually see themselves.

I mean “close” and “far away” both physically and psychically. For example, northerners were physically far away from the Jim Crow South, which affected how they experienced Jim Crow, but even if they went to the South (got close), their experiences might’ve kept them psychically distant from the situation (far away).

I’ve noticed that the inside/outside dichotomy is maintained by both the perceived insiders and outsiders.

People close to a situation don’t want to discuss it with those farther away because of the insensitivity mentioned above. At the same time, those farther from the situation avoid discussing it all together because their lack of knowledge and their distant experience makes them uncomfortable, or unsure [of] themselves in the context of such a discussion.

One example of the latter, which a lighter skinned black girl actually told me, is, “I’m not dark-skinned, so I don’t know if it’s hard on dark-skinned people.”

I get more into this in part 2.

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Mothers and Colorism

I’ll start with mother.

Before children recognize themselves in mirrors, they recognize themselves through their mother’s eyes.

My heart breaks when I hear stories of mothers consciously or unconsciously conditioning their children to adopt the attitudes of colorism, to adore light skin and despise darker skin, adore light eyes and think little of dark eyes, adore straight hair and hate kinky hair.

Previews of Dark Girls the movie, the responses to it, and life observations reveal that too many mothers are complicit in their children’s pain. The relationship between mothers and colorism is clear. Several women describe their most potent experiences with colorism as experiences when their mothers failed to validate their beauty. As adults, hopefully we learn to validate ourselves. Young children, however, must be shown how.

My mother is light skinned. She won’t admit this, always claiming that she never saw herself as such and always identified with darker skinned people. She does acknowledge, though, that she is lighter than my brother and me.

My mother tells me how she has always loved going out in public with us and telling people “these are my kids.” We talk about how people rarely assume this fact due to the skin color difference, and she always makes a point to directly state it.

My mother is different from the women who are only proud to show off their children if their children are fair skinned or have a certain hair texture.

My mother intentionally combated the outside influences and negative messages about dark skin. She was not only aware of colorism, she had the courage to attack it head on. Just knowing that she in some way understood the struggle of a dark skinned child helped me endure the struggle. Knowing that no matter what happened with everyone else I could always go home and feel accepted and loved, probably saved me from the extremes of pain that other girls have gone through.

So don’t trip if your dark skinned friend, cousin, sister, or coworker agonizes over skin color and the biases people hold toward certain skin tones. Don’t be perplexed about why she doesn’t “just get over it, and just love herself.”

Instead, ask her about her relationship with her mother. Ask her how many times she heard her mother tell light skinned cousins how pretty they were, without acknowledging the very daughter that waited in her shadow. Ask her how many times her mother told her to stay out of the sun. Ask her how many times her mother discouraged her from wearing bright colors. Don’t judge her, she’s had enough of that. Just hear her story.

If you are a mother, do an honest self-evaluation. Do you make comments around your children that might instill colorism in them? How often do you tell your children they are beautiful? How often do you compliment their dark skin tones? Do you act like colorism doesn’t exist? Do you try to explain away instances of colorism instead of acknowledging them? Have you dealt with your own color complex so that your children can have healthy self-esteem and appreciation for others regardless of skin color?

When it comes to colorism healing, parents make a huge difference in the lives of young people. By choosing different parenting choices, we can erode the generational cycle of colorism in our communities.

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5 Reasons To Talk About Colorism

Deep breath. I’ve procrastinated on this one while I cultivate the courage to write it. Yes, I want to talk about colorism. As I type this around 11:11 pm, I’m sending my mom the following text message:

“It helps to talk about it. I’ve kept a lot of pain to myself throughout my life and that silence hasn’t helped the pain go away. Talking about it validates [my experience and] validates how I feel.”

I know what you might be thinking. I shouldn’t be seeking “external” validation, right? That’s easy to say at the intellectual level, when we’re removing ourselves from the situation. However, when dealing with chronic pain rooted in childhood memories, when in the midst of a deeply hurtful condition, it’s nice to know we’re not crazy, not making things up, not projecting, not being “too sensitive,” not imagining things. We’re human. We need connection with other humans. That requires a level of human empathy. We don’t have to achieve this with everyone, but at various points in our lives we need it.

Honestly,  if you’ve ever brushed your teeth, combed your hair, ironed your clothes, made sure your outfit matched, applied for a job, held down a job, earned money, spent money, agreed that the sky is blue and the grass is green, opened your mouth to communicate, raised your hand in a classroom or audience, felt offended, held a door open for someone, had a boyfriend or girlfriend, or used a telephone, you were using/seeking/giving external validation. Validation is such an indispensable part of our existence that it’s an unconscious operation, which is why some of us are delusional/self-righteous enough to think we’re above it.

The key is understanding that we don’t need validation for everything or from everyone. We need balance.

Back to the text message I sent, the act of communicating is also a sign of selfvalidation. We often remain silent because we’re unsure [of] ourselves. Either way, we need validation from ourselves and sometimes from others, and we need to break the silence.

The validation debate relates to an earlier post: 5 Reasons I  haven’t Said Much About Colorism… Yet. Here are two of those reasons paraphrased:

    • People often have the attitude that “If you love yourself, you wouldn’t make it an issue.” I didn’t want to be perceived as not loving myself, so I kept quiet.
    • People often use cliché affirmations as a way of dismissing the issue, such as “You have to know you’re beautiful no matter what anyone else thinks.”

These attitudes are an acceptance of the status quo. They are not used to ease painful realities, they’re used to avoid them all together.

So why will I talk about colorism now? I’m writing this because:

1) I’m tired of being afraid to shout, “Ouch! That hurts.”

Humans are hardwired to feel pain. Pain is either a sign that something is wrong or that something is growing and stretching. Anyone who denies their pain denies their humanity and will probably stay in pain. Let’s not remain in pain.

2) We need to “call people on their stuff.” 

Iyanla Vanzant insisted on this at the Essence Music Festival. So I’m calling the black community out on its colorism. It’s not every individual, but it’s way too many. Whether we show colorism intentionally or not, consciously or not, we need to stop sooner than later.

3) Some young person might need a framework and context for their experience other than, “You’re wrong to even feel that way.” 

I’m not saying my framework is the only framework that works, but it’s more than I had growing up. I had to seek and construct one for myself, piecing together ancient ancestor wisdom. I just want to offer what took me too long to find, so that some child can have peace and joy sooner than I did. Perhaps they won’t ever have to lose the peace and joy in the first place.

4) More than just dark-skinned people can benefit from this type of discussion.

Pain knows no color, empowerment is contagious, and courage can improve anyone’s life. When light-skinned people better understand colorism, they can better understand the dynamics of their everyday interactions. We talk about white privilege, but there’s also light skin privilege. I also know that some black girls take out their anger on other black girls. As Angela Davis says in her autobiography: “It hurt to see us folding in on ourselves, using ourselves as whipping posts because we did not yet know how to struggle against the real cause of our misery.” (This quote inspired one of my best poems.)

5) Colorism is more than who’s pretty and who’s not.

Colorism also judges the overall value of an individual to the point that dark-skinned people are perceived as “bad,” less intelligent, less talented, less professional, more dangerous, etc. (Read Queen Sheba’s story.) Thus the consequences are more severe than they appear on the surface. Researchers have done several studies on the tangible effects of colorism, such as colorism in the “justice” system. It amounts to more than just hurt feelings, although feelings are valid enough.

So, let’s speak up. Let’s talk about it. What do you have to say?

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An Interview on Sisters and Colorism

Two girls of different skin tones, growing up together as sisters born of the same mother AND father. Sisters and colorism collide, creating a unique relationship. This is a glimpse into the mind of the lighter skinned sister as she reflects on colorism.

Describe your home/family and work life.

I have been married for five years and am expecting my first child in March of next year. I am the middle child of three children and grew up in Baton Rouge, LA with my mother. My parents were divorced when I was 11. I currently practice school social work at a high school in southern Louisiana. I am a social worker by profession and a doctoral candidate in the School of Social Work at LSU. I maintain a very busy and active lifestyle between work, LSU, and family. In addition, I assist with the youth group at my church planning activities and teaching bible classes.

Tell us about your earliest memories recognizing or dealing with skin color and colorism. 

I remember a time when my sister was being chased and taunted by a group of white girls at our daycare center, when I was about 8 years old. My older brother and I stopped them through physical restraint. When the day care workers took stock of the incident, they concluded that the version of the story that my brother, sister, and I told could not have been true since there were no “MARKS” on our skin like those on the skin of the white girls. Obviously, the darker our skin the less likely MARKS will show up.

At the same daycare, one of my sister’s Hispanic friends really frustrated me. I was 8 years old and had to teach a cultural competence lesson to this girl all the time because she didn’t understand that I could be the “real” sister of my darker skinned siblings. She kept asking “Why are you white and your sister and brother are black?” Granted the girl was in kindergarten, and I’ve been asked similar questions by adults both black and white, but mainly by other BLACK folks.

“Do you and your brother and sister have the same mom and dad?” “You must be mixed right?”  “Man your brother is black.” My response to this particularly ignorant comment was always “So are you and I.”  On and on, the annoying questions/comments went.

How do you view yourself in terms of skin color now?

My skin color is just a product of my birth. I don’t see myself as any better or worse because of the color that I am. I still grimace when people make comparisons about my sister and brother’s color, as if the shades of black are limited, or that it’s impossible for a great array to exist within one family. I am awesome because I’m me, which includes my skin color, but it’s not BECAUSE of my skin color.

How, if at all, has colorism played a role in your life up to this point?

I have seen elements of bias towards me as discussed above when compared to my sister and brother at daycare or among friends. I have come to be embarrassed at times because of my lighter skin color. What I mean by this is the snobby attitude of some lighter skinned women/girls makes people believe that snobby attitudes are common among lighter skinned women/girls. I am not that way. I am still very angered when someone attempts to tell me that I might be mixed or that I have to have different parents than my darker brother and sister. So I have had many points of frustration from colorism in my life!

As you prepare to be a new mother, do you have thoughts about raising a child with a healthy attitude about skin color?

I will be adamant about my child knowing the difference between ethnicity and skin color. There are very few people whose skin is actually the color BLACK. I will be sure that my child never says “Oh mom, look at him; he’s BLACK” to refer to a dark skinned person. My child will know that he/she is a Black person, and that different shades of BLACK should not define how we treat each other. Perhaps if we teach kids to value the black ethnicity and stop putting value on looks, our ethnic group/race would be in a different position in this country.

On a personal level, what may cause an individual to be biased against dark skin or light skin?

I think a level of insecurity is present when someone demeans another for any reason. This is also the case with skin color. When insecure about our own beauty, we try to cut down the beauty of others because of their skin color.

If someone has a negative image of others because of their skin color, what can they do to change that?

Biases usually stem from ignorance, so knowing others with a particular skin color BETTER can help to ease some of the negative images.

If someone has a negative image of themselves because of their skin color, what can they do to change that?

Examining your own self-worth is often a life long process because people often go through significant changes and stages. Acceptance and appreciation of your own qualities is a start. Rather than spending time on the negative images, one should spend energy using their individual qualities to make a difference in his immediate circumstances/ community.

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Colorism: 5 Reasons I Haven’t Said Much… Yet

I’ve addressed colorism in my fiction, but with the growing anticipation of the Bill Duke documentary Dark Girls, I feel it’s safe to speak more directly about the issue.

Surprise! I’m dark-skinned.

Being so, I’m often apprehensive about speaking candidly of colorism for the following reasons:

  1. Complexion is complex, and I’m not sure how to begin.
  2. I didn’t want people to dismiss me as merely hating on light-skinned girls.
  3. People often have the attitude that “If you love yourself, you wouldn’t make it an issue.”
    • Since I didn’t want anyone to perceive me as “not loving myself,” I kept silent. My mistake.
  4. People often deny me the opportunity to discuss the issue by changing the subject with a dismissal disguised as affirmation: “Girl, you’re beautiful, and you have to believe it no matter what others think.”
    • Sorry, but it’s literally not that black & white. “What others think” has real world consequences.
  5. You’re viewed as weak if you acknowledge you’ve been hurt. With that comes the “You’re just being too sensitive” argument.

It’s time we encourage everyone to express their pain in constructive ways within a supportive community.

Maybe we hate pain so much that we avoid the expression of it from others.

What we can avoid are cynical messages that directly or indirectly say: Suck it up. Don’t come crying to me about your problems. It’s probably you and not them. What are you doing to cause others to mistreat you (blaming the victim). Awww! You got your feelings hurt? Well shame on you for being so weak. Boo hoo hoo. Wah wah wah.

Perhaps I would’ve shared my story sooner if I’d felt someone would’ve actually listened.

But like I said, complexion is complex, so I’ll be delving into it one post at a time. If you prefer to stay away from “sensitive topics,” these posts may make you uncomfortable. Just think of it as that discomfort you feel when stretching your muscles.