Mirror Work for Colorism Healing

mirror work wednesday writing workshop

This week’s workshop on “mirror work” is a continuation of my interest in mirrors, which started during graduate school while I was writing my dissertation.

It recalls a previous workshop in which I recited Lucille Clifton’s poem, “What the Mirror Said.”

It echoes the neuroscience theories of V. S. Ramachandran and mirror boxes used in mirror therapy for amputee patients experiencing phantom limb pain.

And, of course, it mirrors (haha) the Snow White reference: “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall,” which is quite related to the legacy of colorism and white supremacy.

Whether mirrors are used as extended metaphors in a poem or whether they are literal mirrors applied in medical work, they are great tools for healing!

To kick of the workshop portion, I use a “Mirror Work” exercise I learned from Lisa Nichols. The universe sent Lisa’s video to me at the exact moment I was getting up off my couch to prep for this workshop. (Given what was going on in my personal life that day, though, I know it was sent to me as more than just inspiration for the workshop.)

After that exercise, we then use the “In My Mirror” worksheet I created as part of the Kaleidoscope workbook. Although this worksheet was created with kids in mind, I have used it with several adults who get just as much out of the activity.

Homework: Practice your own mirror work, either with a journal as Lisa Nichols describes or with the worksheets I provide.

Affirmation: I see you.

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Intersectionality and Colorism

intersectionality and colorism

Kimberlé Crenshaw presented the concept of Intersectionality in 1989 as a way to talk about violence against Black women and other women of color. See Crenshaw’s TED talk if you want more context.

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Intersectionality refers to the multiple forces or sources of inequality and marginalization that compound and add layers to how people experience violence and oppression.

Colorism is intersectional.

We all have a socially-constructed racial designation AND a biological skin tone. Race and color should not be conflated or used synonymously, as we too often do. Using the word color to describe race is actually racist and hides or obscures the reality of colorism.

Our complexion also intersects with other forms of identity like gender, class, and ethnicity, and with other physical features like hair texture and eye color.

We usually have at least one focus of identity that matters more to us for various reasons, or that we feel most potently, or that impacts us most often and most overtly.

Q: Which of your identities is most significant for your right now? Why? Has that changed over time? Why?

Intersectionality and Privilege

colorism speaker promo

It’s important to note that intersectionality can also be applied to privilege.

You don’t have to be aware of your privilege to have privilege, just like you don’t have to be consciously aware of your oppression to be oppressed.

That includes things like implicit bias (unconscious biases); systems of oppression and privileges that have been intentionally hidden, obscured, disguised, and burried; and individual actions that are anonymous or secret or simply unknown.

Unfortunately, these myriad nuances are sometimes used as ammunition to gaslight those who speak out about colorism and other issues. Perpetrators will say, for example: “Well, I’m dark-skinned, and I was never discriminated against.”

It’s important to consider other intersections of your identity–like class, culture, and hair texture–that may have shifted your experiences of colorism or the apparent lack of such experiences.

Homework: Map out your own intersections of identity. Identify where you can be an ally, and where you need advocacy.

Affirmation: I am a multifaceted being, and I accept and embrace all of who I am.

Re-Vision: Revising Attitudes About Colorism

revising attitudes about colorism

Re-Vision means seeing a second time.

Having a new vision.

Or when composing, going back to reorganize, add, cut out, restructure, alter the language.

Or simply to make changes.

In this Wednesday Workshop, I talk about applying these concepts of revision and apply them to colorism healing with the 3 P’s:

  • Probe
  • Pivot
  • Proceed

Probing Previous Attitudes About Colorism

While probing, we ask questions like:

  • How have I perceived myself in the past, particularly my complexion, hair, eyes, nose, etc.?
  • How did I develop those attitudes and perceptions?
  • What about my beliefs and attitudes about others? How did I get there?

Pivoting

The pivot isn’t always a 180 degree reversal in the opposite direction. Like a compass with a full range of points, you can explore an array of perspectives. It’s not a binary, but a spectrum. Journal prompts for the pivot point:

  • When was a time your perspective on beauty, skin color, hair texture, etc., flipped or was challenged or altered in some way?
  • If you could respond now, what would you say?
  • If you could revise earlier messages, what would the new and improved messages be?

Proceeding

Proceeding requires perseverance and vigilance. If we aren’ actively rowing, then we’re drifting. Questions to ponder in this phase:

  • What’s one way you can continue on your own path of colorism healing?
  • What about continuing your individual activism/advocacy against colorism?
  • What potential hurdles or obstacles might you encounter as you proceed? What personal or communal resources will you use to overcome them?

New Attitudes About Colorism

People can change. Whether you’re working to change your own attitudes or you’re hoping to influence the attitudes of family, friends, or others, commit to this process, and you will see changes!

Homework: Do your one task to proceed. OR Pick up at whatever stage you’re in.

Affirmation: You have the power to change your reality!

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Poetic Healing

poetic healing

I built on the previous workshop on metaphors and focused more this time on the healing aspects of writing for this live Wednesday Workshop, particularly poetic writing, especially since this was also streamed during National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo).

I believe we can use writing as a central tool in our spiritual work, mental work, to build confidence, self-awareness, self-esteem, socio-political consciousness, and so much more.

Poetry can be a polarizing subject. I know from my years of teaching writing. There’s lots of confusion and mystery and myth around it, even minor traumas for some. People either love it or hate or they’re completely apathetic. In this workshop, however, I focused on poetry for it’s spiritual and political utility, quoting Audre Lorde (which I featured in the Colorism Poems anthology):

“Poetry is not a luxury. It is a vital necessity of our existence. It forms the quality of the light within which we predicate our hopes and dreams toward survival and change, first made into language, then into idea, then into more tangible action.”

Audre Lorde, “Poetry is Not a Luxury”

Poetry is not escapism, for me as I approach it here. It is a tool we use in the world to help us create our world.

I used Lucille Clifton’s poem “What the Mirror Said” as the model text. After reading it, try the following writing prompt:

  1. Think of a difficult situation you’ve experienced, past or present, deep or not.
  2. Think of yourself in that situation and brainstorm possible metaphors for who you are/were in that situation. Who or what are you in that difficult situation?
  3. Choose a metaphor and stick with it. Extend it into a poem.

My Example:

You’re a notebook woman. You’ve got reams of potential, so much to say. You are the author of your own life. They try to shut you, close you, rip out your insides, tear you down your spine, burn your substance to ashes. But you a notebook, woman, and there will always be another page.

After you give the prompt a try, send me a message and let me know how it goes!

Homework: Give another try at using poetry to reflect on difficult situations.

Affirmation: You are somebody. You are worthy. You are valuable.

Sincerely, Sarah.

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The Power of Metaphors

power of metaphors

The original live stream aired in April, which is National Poetry Month (and National Poetry Writing Month, NaPoWriMo). So I shifted my focus from the previous two weeks of practical grammar lessons to a more poetic focus on the power of metaphors.

Metaphor is essentially just referring to one thing as something else that is comparable. Some common examples from everyday speech are wave of emotions, get off your high horse, bag of tricks, and I hit rock bottom. In fact, even people who claim to not be “good at poetry” or poetic people, actually use metaphors all the time. Metaphor is deeply engrained in our everyday language.

The Power of Metaphors and Colorism

As such, metaphors greatly influence how and what we think about things, including people. That’s the connection to colorism. Metaphors, how we describe and talk about things, reflect and influence our attitudes and beliefs and feelings about those things. A classic example of this is how we describe things at are dark, brown, or black. That’s why I love using my passion for language and writing to address the issue of colorism.

Writing Prompt: Describe what you see. Pick a person, place, or thing and describe it in three ways: as objectively as you can, as if you are in love with it, and as if you are afraid or suspicious.

Homework: Pay attention to how you’re using language and consider what effect it might have.

Affirmation: You are creative. You have the power to create.

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Gratitude Statements and Grammar Lessons

gratitude statements

In my second LIVE Wednesday Writing Workshop (streamed on Facebook and Instagram), I responded to viewer requests to discuss semicolons and dashes. But I delivered that grammar lesson via a session on gratitude. We wrote gratitude statements as a way to practice using semicolons and appositives.

This second live writing workshopped build off the first in which we wrote affirmations as a way to practice writing grammatically correct sentences.

These workshops were also both based on activities in the Kaleidoscope workbook, which was originally created for elementary school children, but I adapted it just fine for the adults of varying ages who tuned in and participated in these live writing workshop sessions.

It has been a deeply rooted philosophy of mine since I started teaching high school English courses that we can more readily build self-esteem and improve literacy if we combine those two initiatives into the same experience. This is one of the things I believe in most and that is a central pillar of my pedagogy even today as a university professor.

Gratitude Statements During a Pandemic?

This session was especially important because it was early in the COVID-19 quarantine, stay at home, social distancing orders. We had to really be more proactive than normal about focusing on what we’re grateful for.

Within all of the positivity, spiritual, self-help content I constantly immerse myself in, I learned that it is often when we are the least motivated to think positively, that positive thinking makes the biggest difference in our mood, behavior, and life!

So during this time when it was so easy to get bogged down with fear and negative thinking and grief, this workshop was much needed.

Homework: If you haven’t already, start a Gratitude Journal! You can fill it with infinite phrases that begin with:

  • I am grateful for ___.
  • I am grateful that ___.
  • I am grateful to ___.
  • I am thankful for ___.

Affirmation: You are worthy of good things.

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Language and Affirmation- WWW.003

language and affirmation

Language is the most powerful invention in the history of humanity.

Language conditions our perceptions and understandings of the world. Language shapes our governments, particularly in written documents like constitutions, laws, policies, etc. Language is used to persuade others and influence actions and behaviors. And language is the primary means through which we conceive of ourselves and communicate that conception.

We need look no further than the dictionary definitions of “black” and “white” and how these words have influenced our attitudes and treatment of people who’ve been given those labels. We see the power of language in the contentions about calling ourselves black, not wanting to call ourselves black, calling other people black with the intent to insult them, and who exactly should/could be labeled as black.

Perhaps I’m overstating the importance of language, as a result of my bias as a writer and English Professor. But I honestly don’t believe I am. That’s why my writing tip this week is as follows.

Writing Tip: Learn to Love Language

I love language (and alliteration!). In fact, language is my love language (haha).

But seriously, this advice is not for people who merely want to be competent writers or merely want to write well enough to get by in school or fulfill the responsibilities of their job.

But if you’re drawn to writing for more intrinsic reasons, deepening your love of language will bring a professional polish to your work. When you love language for the sake of language (as opposed to a necessary means to an end), you relish in finding the precise words to articulate your ideas. You play with the pliability of sentence structure. Find joy in the rhythm and music of prose.

So how might one discover or grow a love for language? I suspect that some of it has to already be part of your nature. For example, I’m a Gemini, ruled by Mercury, the messenger god, the planet of communication. So I couldn’t suppress my love of language even if I wanted to. It’s in my DNA.

Others, though, have developed a love of language because they’ve had several positive, nurturing, affirming, enjoyable, funny, and/or entertaining experiences with it in the past. Fond memories of Uncle Lee’s comedic storytelling. A teacher’s voice reading If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Reading Nikki Giovanni’s kidnap poem and connecting wordplay with Black love. Tupac (also a Gemini).

If you’re searching for the spark of inspiration that will help you see the magic of language, identify and reflect on those moments in your own life. Sit in the energy of such moments and lean into the yummy feelings they evoke. Rehearse the language. Absorb it on your tongue. Feel it’s texture in your throat. Feel the bulk and weight of it on your diaphragm and in your gut. Let it reverberate in your bones.

But language isn’t always pleasant. Recognizing and understanding the times when language does emotional or social damage is also important. That helps us recognize that language has consequences, which in turn might inspire us to wield it more responsibly. The Weekly Word is directly connected to this.

Weekly Word: Affirmation

An affirmation is a positive statement that confirms or supports an idea.

Affirmations are a necessary part of colorism healing. Many of us have lacked positive affirmation and have instead received insults, language meant to degrade and oppress us. Even if you have never been directly ridiculed as an individual, there is systemic and culture-wide derision of dark skin, coily hair, and broad features.

Affirmations have been a central component of my personal healing. Though some say affirmations did not work for them, there are still many people who find great value in them.

Tips for Using Affirmations:

Try all of these, and hopefully one will work for you or will inspire some other method that works.

  • write them down (repeatedly)
  • say them out loud (repeatedly)
  • post them in highly visible places around your environment
  • use them daily
  • use them as needed
  • carry some with you
  • google lists of affirmations
  • create general lists and lists for specific issues
  • create your own original affirmations
  • borrow quotes from books, speeches, etc.
  • put them on t-shirts, jewelry, and other items and apparel
  • create artwork out of them
  • rehearse them first thing in the morning
  • rehearse them before falling asleep
  • record yourself saying them, then listen to yourself
  • write poetry inspired by your affirmations
  • make it your background or screensaver on devices

I hope that some of this is beneficial to you.

Sincerely,

Sarah

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Colorism Quotes

zora neale hurston viola davis malcolm x oprah alice walker colorism quotes and more curated by sarah webb of colorism healing

Why compile a list of colorism quotes? The official answer is that a collection of quotations helps fulfill the CH mission to raise awareness and provide a hub of information and resources about colorism.

Other equally valid and true reasons: People like quotes! Because sometimes I just don’t know what to write. Sometimes I get tired of my own voice and just want to soak up what others have said. Sometimes I feel like people aren’t hearing me, but they might be able to hear someone else.

Full disclosure: This is by no means a comprehensive list of quotes. I selected quotations that I tend to agree with and that are by people much more famous than me. Not because these are the only words that matter, but simply because I had to find some way to limit the scope of this thing and because people like reading what famous people have to say.

If you’re looking for a speaker or facilitator for your next colorism event, learn about Dr. Sarah Webb’s colorism keynotes and workshops.

dr. sarah webb speaking at a podium holding a microphone with one arm extended during during her keynote speech for women's history month at the university of the pacific 2023. she's wearing a black turtleneck, multicolored skirt, and bold jewelry

Colorism Quotes by People More Famous Than Me

Tatyana Ali, Quotes from HelloBeautiful, 2014

“It doesn’t just exist in Hollywood. I think it exists in society and to be quite honest, I don’t know how much it exists in the larger society, but it definitely exists in the Black community. There are obvious historical reasons for that. The closer we were to White, the more freedom we thought we could have or the more acceptability. Beauty was defined as White and the farther away you get from that White-blond-hair-blue-eye definition of beauty, the uglier you are. The closer you get to it, the more beautiful you are and that’s what we’ve been doing amongst ourselves for a very long time.

“Look, I can’t pass a paper bag test. I’m definitely darker than a paper bag and I have ‘good hair’ and that’s just me being in a different category and a different light. I know that me and my sisters were separated by our cousins by older relatives who would make these weird comments and then not mention the beauty of the other child that’s sitting right there and playing the same game.

“There’s a separation that’s made among sisters and we end up looking at each other funny, not realizing and thinking ‘she has it so good’ and the other one thinks, ‘I feel like an outcast, she has it so good’ and not realizing that we’re both missing out on each other. My experience in Hollywood is different. When Chris Rock did Good Hair, I was like ‘Why didn’t he talk to me? He didn’t get the full story.’ He didn’t get the full story because, for example, it’s about identity, it’s about belonging.

“It’s not just, in addition to what’s beautiful and what’s not. It’s also what’s acceptable. ‘Where do I fit?’ ‘Who do you think I am based on what I look like?’ For me, when I was younger, I remember my mom, because of my hair, my mom would braid my hair at night before auditions in small braids to make my hair thicker so that there wouldn’t be a question of ‘Oh, is she Black enough?’

“What’s harmful about it is the idea of separation and the idea of not belonging and not being loved and each one of us feels it in a different way because no matter what’s being said about all of us, whether lighter is better or darker is better or being able to twist your hair is better than having straight hair. We all experience pain because of it. The bottom line is we’re all being measured by a standard of beauty that has nothing to do with who we are and where we come from.”

India Arie, Colorism Quotes from Songversation: I Am Light: My Thoughts on the Skin Bleaching Allegations, 2015

“It’s all based on Eurocentric beauty ideals: For example;  Straight, blonde hair, blue eyes, aquiline nose, thin limbs, lighter skin…. for many this is just considered ‘beauty.’ Why?  Because eurocentric aesthetics are seen as the standard, and therefore are more palatable and desirable by the world as a whole.  The entertainment industries are no exception, they SELL this desire to the world.  MOST  publications lighten darker people,  because lighter skin and hair reflect more light and are more eye catching, magazines are after all a business. BUT! For example:  Where ARE the cameras that make brown skin look amazing? Oprah has them I can tell you that! LoL!  But in general, lights and cameras are ALWAYS  tuned for lighter complexions.  This is what institutionalized racism looks like. So, for musicians and actresses in the public eye, you are not just  selling your talent, you are actually selling yourself.  YOU become a product.  The less your product fits into conventional beauty ideals, the less MARKETABLE, and therefore, less safe of an investment you are.”

David Banner, Quotes from “An Intimate Conversation With David Banner On The State Of Black Love & Marriage” on xoNecole, 2015

“This song is for [all] Black women, but it’s especially for the dark-skinned black women,” says Banner. “If you look at our culture, our women don’t feel protected. They don’t feel wanted. You look at most of who so-called people of success cater to—nine times out of 10 it may not be a Black woman at all. And if it is, it’s definitely not ones that look like our cousins or our great-grandmothers. And I said man, if nobody in the world says that they love them and that they respect them and that they want them, it’ll be me.”

Tom Burrell, Colorism Quotes from “Uglified: Why are Black and Beautiful Still Contradictions?” in Brainwashed: Challenging the Myth of Black Inferiority, 2010

“The further we are from the European standard, the lower we find ourselves on the beauty scale….

“We are better if we are lighter. We want our children to be pretty because we know beauty will grant them an easier life in a color-coded society. Most of us don’t want to be reminded of our past, our ancestors, and where we come from. Many of us boast of having a little Indian, Irish, Italian—any additional blood in our lineage boosts our value. We find ourselves using a sliding racial scale, somewhere between black and white, with lighter or whiter always, always defined as better….

“For most of our history in the New World, we openly coveted light skin and straight hair. Today, the pinnacles of black female beauty remain almost white-looking. It is disturbingly telling that the long weave seems to be a prerequisite for black singers, actors, and models. Hip Hop videos feature light-skinned black, Latino, or Asian women—to the exclusion of darker-skinned black dancers….

“The ‘color-struck’ class war played out in black families, neighborhoods, social clubs, churches, colleges, fraternal organizations, and nearly every conceivable part of our culture. As the stigma progressed, class stratification within the black community became based, to a large degree, on the presence or absence of black features. It is a profound irony that the attractiveness rating was enhanced by the whiteness of hair, skin color, and facial features.

“Sadly, that rating system continues today….

“We can ‘go along to get along’ with dominant society’s dictates or we can start the analytical process by weighing the costs and benefits of our thoughts and actions….

“Centuries of propaganda created the perceptual aesthetic deficit. We will need powerful weapons to dis-enslave and reprogram how we see ourselves. To wage a winnable war, both internally and externally, we will need the proper ammunition.”

Ta-Nehisi Coates, Colorism Quote from “Dark Girls” in The Atlantic, 2011

“For me it’s a matter of what I thought when I was a kid. There’s an anecdote in the book where I foolishly tell one of my mother’s friends “I like light-skin girls.” My mother, who is lighter than me, read me the riot act in such a way that it sticks with me to this day.

Michaela Angela Davis, Quote from Who is Black in America Panel on Starting Point with Soledad O’Brien, 2012

“Acting Like it doesn’t exist doesn’t heal. . . . America as a family, this is our taboo issue that brings up so much. It triggers a lot of black girl pain. It triggers a lot of secrets. It triggers a lot of bias. It triggers a lot of emotional things. And like any family, when we go into our history and say this horrible thing created this characteristic, people don’t want to look at it. But this is the road to healing, right. This is the only way we’re going to feel whole: is we talk about where we’re fractured.

“This is it. Having this conversation, this is the solution.”

Viola Davis, Colorism Quotes from “Viola Davis Defies Hollywood Stereotypes as She Keeps It Real,” The Wrap, 2015

“That being said, when you do see a woman of color onscreen, the paper-bag test is still very much alive and kicking. That’s the whole racial aspect of colorism: If you are darker than a paper bag, then you are not sexy, you are not a woman, you shouldn’t be in the realm of anything that men should desire. And in the history of television and even in film, I’ve never seen a character like Annalise Keating played by someone who looks like me. My age, my hue, my sex. She is a woman who absolutely culminates the full spectrum of humanity our askew sexuality, our askew maternal instincts. She’s all of that, and she’s a dark-skin black woman. Some people who watch TV have acknowledged that and understand that. But I encourage you to search your memory and think of anyone who’s done this. It just hasn’t happened. I hear these stories from friends of mine who are dark-skin actresses who are always being seen as crack addicts and prostitutes.”

Bill Duke, Colorism Quotes from “Bill Duke Talks Dark Girls And Colorism” on WOLDCNews, 2012

“What we’re finding more and more is that sometimes it’s not a conscious effort to hurt anybody. But what it comes down to is pain that is deeply held by children, and they don’t discuss it because they feel they’re going to be ridiculed by discussing it. So, we’re giving a voice to that discussion.

“The reason we think that dialogue is important is because it’s the beginning of healing. If you hold things and you don’t discuss it, it does bad things to the human body, psyche, everything.

“All women are dark girls, because whatever standard is set, you’re never going to meet it. And as soon as you get close, they say ‘Oops! We’ve changed it. But we love you so much, we’re gonna help you get to the new standard. Here’s some new products.

“How you were born is fine. Whoever says that it’s not is one of two things: a liar or a business person. It’s that simple.”

Zora Neale Hurston, Colorism Quotes from “My People! My People!” in Dust Tracks on a Road, 1942

zora neale hurston quotes about colorism

“I found the Negro, and always the blackest Negro, being made the butt of all jokes, particularly black women. …

“If it was so honorable and glorious to be black, why was it the yellow-skinned people among us had so much prestige? Even a child in the first grade could see that this was so from what happened in the classroom and on school programs. The light-skinned children were always the angels, fairies and queens of school play. The lighter the girl, the more money and prestige she was apt to marry. So on into high school years, I was asking myself questions.”

Trellie Jeffers, as quoted by Alice Walker in In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens, 1983

“What then can be the destiny of a people that pampers and cherishes the blood of the white slaveholder who maimed and degraded their female ancestor? What can be the future of a class of descendants of slaves that implicitly gives slaveholders greater honor than the African women they enslaved? What can be the end of a class that pretends to honor blackness while secretly despising working class black-skinned women whose faces reveal no trace of white blood?”

Karen M. Julkes, RollingOut.com Interview, 2015

“Actually, my inspiration [for becoming a makeup artist] initially came from a place of insecurity. I was teased as a young girl about being dark-skinned and I had a speech impediment. As a teen, I began to play in makeup to feel pretty. I never felt pretty like the other girls, so makeup allowed me to mask the real me. But as I matured, I realized that me being unattractive was very much so a lie. So instead of makeup being a coverup, it became a way for me to be creative. And then in my late 20s, I realized I could use this as way to build up other women that may have dealt with the same challenges as myself. I wanted to make them feel beautiful but talk to them and encourage them to love themselves beyond the makeup!”

Kendrick Lamar, Quotes from Twitter, 2013

“Not Light ‘Vs’ Dark tho. More about ‘BALANCE’ ..Givn every shade of woman life, not just what da industry thinks is ‘Hott’ 4 camera.”

“When u put the term light ‘Vs’ dark continues it as a BATTLE. My point 4 poetic was to spark the idea of making it an EQUAL.”

Naturi Naughton, Quotes VladTV Interview, 2015

“I think there’s always this cycle that happens when you’re a black woman in Hollywood … it can be frustrating because you start to feel like you’re just a fad. Like, now the dark skin, beautiful, brown, chocolate sisters are in. And we’re praising Lupita and all that, which is beautiful, but she was beautiful five years ago. I was the same way three years ago. But it depends on the time. They’ll say, ‘You know what? We’re looking for a black woman but we want something ethnically ambiguous’ is what I have heard. Or, you know, they’re looking for a specific look. And it’s hard because you start to feel like, well wait a minute, what’s wrong with my features, my complexion, my body type? And I just try to tell other black women, not just in Hollywood, just in general, you don’t have to compromise or change yourself to try to fit into whatever mold is popular. That is frustrating. And I’m not even going to lie, it’s emotional. I go through moments when I’m like ‘I can’t take it.’ But at the same time, you know, I’m working, and I’m in a position where I’m able to be a black woman that’s toted as beautiful, and my lips, my features, my body. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

Lupita Nyong’o, Colorism Quotes from Essence Black Women in Hollywood Speech, 2014

“I remember a time when I too felt unbeautiful. . . . I got teased and taunted about my night-shaded skin. And my one prayer to God, the miracle worker, was that I would wake up lighter-skinned. . . . And when I was a teenager my self-hate grew worse, as you can imagine happens with adolescence. …around me the preference for light skin prevailed. To the beholders that I thought mattered, I was still unbeautiful. …

“My mother reminded me often that she thought that I was beautiful, but that was no consolation: She’s my mother, of course she’s supposed to think I am beautiful. …

“And then Alek Wek came on the international scene. A celebrated model, she was dark as night, she was on all of the runways and in every magazine and everyone was talking about how beautiful she was. … a flower couldn’t help but bloom inside of me. When I saw Alek I inadvertently saw a reflection of myself that I could not deny. Now, I had a spring in my step because I felt more seen, more appreciated by the far away gatekeepers of beauty. . . . I could never have guessed that my first job out of school would be so powerful in and of itself and that it would propel me to be such an image of hope in the same way that the women of The Color Purple were to me. …

“And so I hope that my presence on your screens and in the magazines may lead you, young girl, on a similar journey. That you will feel the validation of your external beauty but also get to the deeper business of being beautiful inside. There is no shade in that beauty.”

Soledad O’Brien, Colorism Quotes from Essence Black in America Hangout, 2012

ESSENCE: “How do you think colorism is playing out in 2012?”

O’BRIEN: “It just is. The same way it’s always played out, which is people value certain skin tones differently. It’s inherently apparent. I thought one of the most disturbing things in the documentary was to see a seven year old who really is clearly getting those messages. She’s seven, and she fully understands the messages that are sent to her, and that’s very problematic. I think colorism exists today like it did years ago and generations ago.

“Back to twitter, a lot of the conversations, there was one sort of stream: “Well, Soledad, if you would stop raising this it would go away, and it’s your fault that we keep having these discussions about race and colorism and discrimination.”

“I don’t think that’s the case. I think we are going to confront tough issues and tough conversations that maybe other people don’t want to have.”

ESSENCE: “How do we start to heal? How do we get the seven year olds to start thinking differently and feel acceptable in their skin tone?”

O’BRIEN: “I think the only thing that’s a solution is conversation. I think the only thing that is a solution is pointing out here is a trap you’re falling into that has been set for you, that has been set over history. And let’s go back and take a look at what’s happening in front of you so that you don’t fall into this trap.”

Keke Palmer, Quotes About Colorism from Hollywood Confidential Panel in Los Angeles, 2013

“When I was like 5 years old I used to pray to have light skin because I would always hear how pretty that little light skin girl was, or I would hear I was pretty to be dark skin. It wasn’t until I was 13 that I really learned to appreciate my skin color and know that I was beautiful.”

Kelly Rowland, Quotes About Colorism from Interview on CNikky.com, 2013

“You know what, I had great women in my life to help me overcome that. I remember I went through a period where I didn’t embrace my ‘chocolatiness.’ I don’t know if that’s a word, but I didn’t embrace my chocolate lifestyle. Just being a chocolate, lovely brown skin girl and being proud of that. I remember Tina Knowles, Bey’s mom, and I remember being out in the sun and I was trying to shield myself from the sun and she said, ‘Are you crazy?’ She said ‘You are absolutely gorgeous’ and she just told me how beautiful I was and how rare chocolate is and how gorgeous the skin is, all of this stuff. And I was just like ‘Yeah!’ Like a light went off and so between her and my mother and me sitting out in the sun a little more, just to be a little more chocolate.”

Gabourey Sidibe, Quotes About Colorism from her blog post for Entertainment Weekly, 2015

“Also, yes. I, a plus sized, dark-skinned woman, had a love scene on primetime television. I had the most fun ever filming that scene even though I was nervous. But I felt sexy and beautiful and I felt like I was doing a good job. I’m very proud of the work we all did to make that scene a great opening for the episode. I keep hearing that people are ‘hating’ on it. I’m not sure how anyone could hate on love but that’s okay. You may have your memes. Honestly, I’m at work too busy to check Twitter anyway. #Booked. Hope you enjoy next week’s show!”

Geneva S. Thomas, Quotes About Colorism from ‘Blood, Sweat, and Heels’ Star: ‘I Celebrate my Dark Skin’, Essence.com, 2014

“But to throw shade at our shades (pun intended), is a nadir far too tragic for anyone to make a punch-line.

“After I got past all of my feelings about the comment, I called my father to thank him for how he and my mother worked tirelessly to create an environment that wasn’t merely about acceptance, but a standard, and the expectation that our dark skin was to be unapologetically celebrated. It was an effortless confidence level I carried about as a youth. So much so that even that one time, when my ballet instructor decided it was a good idea to tell 6-year-old me I was pretty for a dark skinned girl, it was the heartiest of chuckles I gave that she couldn’t fathom. . . .

“I’m not so caught up in my own dark-skin party to think all dark skinned Black girls grow up with the kind of love my family gave me. We all know colorism has been an internal issue in our community dating back to slavery; that thing we just don’t talk about, but exercise. Is colorism here to stay? Will it continue to be okay for us to go there with each other?

“Let’s do more than hope not. Let’s make it our business to teach little Black girls that whatever shade they may be, they are to be celebrated.”

Gabrielle Union, Colorism Quote from Ebony Magazine, October 2012

“Your deep Mahogany skin may not resemble that of the others in your family, but it’s just as gorgeous, and you’re just as worthy … One day you’ll appreciate how much your brown skin shines in the moonlight, glistens in the sun and ages ever so slowly.”

Alice Walker, Colorism Quotes from In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens, 1983, excerpts from “If the present looks like the past, what does the future look like?”

book cover for in search of our mother's gardens by alice walker colorism quotes

“We were speaking of the hostility many black black women feel toward light-skinned black women, and you said, ‘Well, I’m light. It’s not my fault. And I’m not going to apologize for it.’ I said apology for one’s color is not what anyone is asking. What black black women would be interested in, I think, is a consciously heightened awareness on the part of light black women that they are capable, and often quite unconsciously, of inflicting pain upon them; and that unless the question of Colorism–in my definition, prejudicial or preferential treatment of same-race people based solely on their color–is addressed in our communities and definitely in our black ‘sisterhoods’ we cannot, as a people, progress. For colorism, like colonialism, sexism, and racism, impedes us. …

“Still, I think there is probably as much difference between the life of a black black woman and a ‘high yellow’ black woman as between a ‘high yellow’ woman and a white woman. And I am worried, constantly, about the hatred the black black woman encounters within black society. To me, the black black woman is our essential mother–the blacker she is the more us she is–and to see the hatred that is turned on her is enough to make me despair, almost entirely, of our future as a people.

“Ironically, much of what I’ve learned about color I’ve learned because I have a mixed-race child. Because she is lighter-skinned, straighter haired than I, her life–in this racist, colorist society–is infinitely easier. And so I understand the subtle programming I, my mother, and my grandmother before me fell victim to. Escape the pain, the ridicule, escape the jokes, the lack of attention, respect, dates, even a job, any way you can. And if you can’t escape, help your children escape. Don’t let them suffer as you have done. And yet, what have we been escaping to? Freedom used to be the only answer to that question. But for some of our parents it is as if freedom and whiteness were the same destination, and that presents a problem for any person of color who does not wish to disappear. …

“… However, the word ‘beautiful’ itself was never used to describe black women in those days. They might be called ‘handsome’ in a pinch. ‘Her skin is black but she is sure nuff pretty,’ someone might have thought, but not sung. Stevie Wonder’s lyrics, though in our time backward in this one instance (‘but’ rather than ‘and’), would have been considered revolutionary in the fifties and early sixties. ‘Beautiful’ was for the white women and black women who look like you. Medium browns like me might evoke ‘good-looking’ or ‘fine.’ A necessary act of liberation within myself was to acknowledge the beauty of black black women, but I was always aware I was swimming against the tide. …

“— I remembered —-, who was asked by the light-skinned girls in our dormitory to move somewhere else, because she was so dark; the men who came to call on them found her blackness ‘inharmonious.’ …

“This essay is for you. … A sister I do not wish to lose to the entreaties of parents or grandparents standing behind you whispering “lighten up’ or ‘darken up’ the race. Nor do I, a dark woman, intend to give you up. When we walk down a street together and those who hate their black mothers admire only you (really your skin color and hair) we will not let this divide us…

“One reason the novels of nineteenth-century black authors abound with white-skinned women characters is that most readers of novels in the nineteenth century were white people: white people who then, as, more often than not, now, could identify human feeling, humanness, only if it came in a white or near-white body. And although black men could be depicted as literally black and still be considered men (since dark is masculine to the Euro-American mind), the black-skinned woman, being dark and female, must perforce be whitened, since ‘fairness’ was and is the standard of Euro-American femininity.

“We must cleave to reality, to what we know, we feel, we think of life. Trusting our own experience our own lives; embracing both the dark self and the light.

“It is our ‘familial’ relations with each other in America that we need to scrutinize. And it is the whole family, rather than the dark or the light, that must be affirmed.”

Jesse Williams, Quote about Colorism from Drum Award Acceptance Speech, 2015

“European beauty standards have given me a better seat at the table and a bigger microphone than my darker brothers and sisters my entire life. That’s not me. I didn’t have anything to do with that. Because I understand the history of white supremacy and the construction of Black civilization, I had to, really had to give these presentations in my living room in my house if I wanted to play sports. That wasn’t me. That’s parenthood.”

Oprah Winfrey, Colorism quote from Henry Louis Gates Jr. in Finding Oprah’s Roots, 2007

“I remember being there, and I instantly knew that Miss Miller did not like me because of the color of my skin. I was too dark and I was a nappy-headed colored child, and Miss Miller would say it. And my half-sister Pat was five years younger than me and she was light skinned and my mother was staying there because Miss Miller loved my half-sister. And I was put out on the porch to sleep. There was a little vestibule, like a porch area where you came in and left your shoes before you went into the house and so that’s where I slept. I wasn’t even allowed in the house to sleep. It makes me sad to think about it. And it was because I was brown skinned and it didn’t compute for me because my mother was brown skinned, too. But I realized she was okay because she had Pat.”

Malcolm X, Quotes About Colorism and Internalized Oppression from “Not Just an American Problem, but a World Problem,” Feb 16, 1965

“It’s imagery. They use their ability to create images, and then they use these images that they’ve created to mislead the people.

“You have to understand it. Until 1959 the image of the African continent was created by the enemies of Africa. As these Europeans dominated the continent of Africa, it was they who created the image of Africa that was projected abroad. And they projected Africa and the people of Africa in a negative image, a hateful image. They made us think that Africa was a land of jungles, a land of animals, a land of cannibals and savages. It was a hateful image.

“And because they were so successful in projecting this negative image of Africa, those of us here in the West of African ancestry, the Afro-American, we looked upon Africa as a hateful place. We looked upon the African as a hateful person. And if you referred to us as an African it was like putting us as a servant, or playing house, or talking about us in the way we didn’t want to be talked.

“Those who oppress know that you can’t make a person hate the root without making them hate the tree. You can’t hate your own and not end up hating yourself. And since we all originated in Africa, you can’t make us hate Africa without making us hate ourselves. And they did this very skillfully. And what was the result?

“They ended up with 22 million Black people here in America who hated everything about us that was African. We hated the African characteristics. We hated our hair. We hated our nose, the shape of our nose, and the shape of our lips, the color of our skin. Yes we did. And it was you who taught us to hate ourselves simply by shrewdly maneuvering us into hating the land of our forefathers and the people on that continent. As long as we hated those people, we hated ourselves. As long as we hated what we thought they looked like, we hated what we actually looked like.

“When you teach a man to hate his lips, the lips that God gave him, the shape of the nose that God gave him, the texture of the hair that God gave him, the color of the skin that God gave him, you’ve committed the worst crime that a race of people can commit. And this is the crime that you’ve committed.

“Our color became a chain, a psychological chain. Our blood — African blood — became a psychological chain, a prison, because we were ashamed of it. We felt trapped because our skin was black. We felt trapped because we had African blood in our veins.

“This is how you imprisoned us. Not just bringing us over here and making us slaves. But the image that you created of our motherland and the image that you created of our people on that continent was a trap, was a prison, was a chain, was the worst form of slavery that has ever been invented by a so-called civilized race and a civilized nation since the beginning of the world.

“You still see the result of it among our people in this country today.”

2014 Colorism Poetry Contest Results

Thank you to everyone who submitted poetry or encouraged someone else to submit. We received over 300 incredible poems.

Thank you to the judges Opal Palmer-Adisa, Sharon G. Flake, and Calida Rawles for volunteering their time to make this contest a reality.

And thank you, dear reader, simply for caring.

Here are the results of the 2014 Colorism Poetry Contest

Division 1: Ages 10-14

Winner:

“Just the Color” by Jabari Butler

Honorable Mentions

“Accepted” by Rebecca Jimenez

“Ares Red” by Gia Spann

“Deep are the Victims” by Sophia Grudzina

“My Light Shines” by Khloe Henry

Division 2: Ages 15-19

Winner:

“Midnight Girl” by Marlana Edwards

Honorable Mentions

“The Blacker the Berry” by Kiki Nicole

“Color and its ‘ism'” by Kolby Whack

“Scarred Eyes” by Joy Choe

“Whatchu Mixed Wit?” by Eric Powell Jr. aka E.L.P.J

Division 3: Ages 20+

Winner:

“For my Little Black Girl” by Danielle Milton

Honorable Mentions

“All that is Left” by Heidi Rhodes

“Minority (Colon) Talented” by Crystal Armstrong

“Prism” by Sydney Odell

“That Would Be” by Paulamia Pass

Congratulations!

Fighting Colorism while Reading Magazines

fighting colorism inside essence magazine

fighting colorism with people essence magazines coversMagazines are one of humanity’s greatest creative/business  projects.

My mom used to work at a bank inside of a grocery store. As a girl, I’d grab all the house and home magazines off the shelves to pass the time until she got off work.

Then, in high school I discovered black hair magazines and Essence. I can honestly say that these magazines helped shape my ideas of the world and of myself. It began with the typical impulse to collect pictures and stories of my favorite celebrities at the time, but it soon grew into something more. I came to view magazines differently, and they served a deeper purpose than mere entertainment.

Somewhere along the way I began selecting magazines with images and messages that affirmed the woman I was becoming. I sought hair magazines that featured natural hair styles and actually started reading magazines like Essence cover to cover. I’d cut out meaningful passages and hang them on my walls, create collages of women and men with locs, and even made a photo book with magazine cutouts and the lyrics to “Black Butterfly.

I guess what I grew to understand is that we don’t have to accept whatever’s given to us. We can reject, protest, question, or repurpose it to suit our needs.

Fighting colorism demands that we are intentional and proactive with our words and actions every day. It means doing everyday things in a new way–everyday things like tweeting, watching television, listening to music, posting selfies, and reading magazines.

One of the biggest shifts we can make is in media literacy, especially among youth. With this change, we’ll start to see a difference in how the media affects our beliefs about skin color, hair, and facial features.

The benefit to using media literacy to fight colorism is that we can make a difference even if the media doesn’t change. Of course we want to continue pushing for change in the media, but we don’t have to wait for others to act. We can make progress by teaching young people not to be passive viewers, listeners, and readers.

What is Media Literacy?

According to the Media Literacy Project, “Media literacy is the ability to access, analyze, evaluate, and create media. Media literate youth and adults are better able to understand the complex messages we receive” through various forms of media. 

Media literacy gives us increased knowledge and skills to make more informed interpretations and judgments about what’s in the media. This will help us stop accepting and internalizing messages in the media that reinforce colorism.

Media literacy also gives people the knowledge and skills to find and create alternative media, which can be used to spread a different message.

Fighting Colorism while Reading Magazines

Magazines are notorious for their lack of diversity. This isn’t surprising since many magazines are part of the fashion industry, and the fashion industry is tragically monochromatic. (See here, here, and here.)

As a girl, I quickly noticed the biased pattern in magazines that favored light skin and straight hair. No one had to point it out to me. It was obvious.

But whether we like them or not, magazines are part of everyday life for many people. We see them in lobbies, waiting rooms, grocery store checkout lines, and even the backs of airline seats.

Since getting completely away from magazines is tough to do, we should start to look at them differently. We can engage with them on another level. We can be active rather than passive consumers.

So, I have compiled a few basic ideas that can help us start to look at magazines differently. Although these work for people of any age, I especially want you to share this with the children and young adults in your life.

1) Most popular magazines depict fantasy, not reality.

Why would we open a magazine if it only showed us what we already have and see every day? It’s the fact that magazines allow us to escape into the kind of life we often dream about that continues to make them so appealing.

The typical magazine is in the business of depicting fantasy, not reality; that includes everything from the immaculate kitchens in Better Homes and Gardens, to the splendid dishes in Food & Wine, or the ripped abs in Fitness Magazine.

Every image is staged before, during, and after it’s created. (Watch this.)

But what if we revealed the man behind the curtain, exposed the smoke and mirrors, and told people (especially children and teens) that images in magazines usually don’t show a person as they naturally are? What if we explained the highly involved process of what it takes to get a model or celebrity out of bed in the morning and onto the cover of a magazine? I think that’s a strategy that could reduce the influence of magazine images.

Going back to “that man behind the curtain” (Wizard of Oz reference) we see that people were ruled by the wizard. They worshiped and feared the wizard until they realized that there was no wizard. The would-be wizard was a regular person just like everybody else. And once the people learned this, they were no longer ruled by him; they no longer worshiped or feared him.

When people learn that the images in magazines are mainly illusions, those images lose some of their power. Now, this doesn’t let magazines off the hook. And it certainly won’t fix the problem of unrealistic beauty standards in the media. It just makes us less vulnerable to potentially harmful messages.

2) When we read the text, the images often fade into the background.

fighting colorism inside essence magazine I often hear the expression: “looking at a magazine.” Too many people “look at” magazines rather than read them.

If we really want to make a difference in how we’re influenced or not by magazines, we must commit to actually reading every magazine that we open, and only opening those that we intend to read.

Here are the benefits to paying more attention to reading magazines rather than just flipping through them to look at pictures:

  • improving basic reading skills (especially in children and young adults)
  • shifting focus (literally) away from the images
  • gaining useful knowledge or inspiration
  • valuing substance over shallow imagery
  • learning that what we see never reveals the whole story

Obviously, reading the entire magazine every time isn’t practical. But maybe there’s at least one article or story that sparks enough interest to read. If it’s the image of a celebrity that sparks interest, then go ahead and enjoy looking at the photo spread, but also read the interview or feature on that person.

3) Have a conversation about the magazine.

Especially if you’re reading a magazine with a young person, it’s important to encourage them to express what they think about the magazine.  You can probably come up with good questions that are most appropriate for your specific child, magazine, and situation, but here are a few to get you started.

  • Why did you choose to read this magazine?
  • Do you know anyone else who might enjoy the magazine? Why do you think they would enjoy it?
  • What was your favorite story/article? Why did you like it? What did you learn from it?
  • Do you think the editors did a good job choosing pictures for the magazine? Why or why not?
  • What kind of people are shown and not shown in this magazine? Why do you think the magazine editors decided to show these people rather than others?
  • If you could create a magazine, how would it be similar to, or different from this one?

To make it a real conversation and not a one-sided interview, be sure to share your own thoughts and allow others to ask their own questions.

4) Diversify your magazine selection and go beyond what you can buy at supermarkets.

If you’re into the idea of fighting colorism while reading magazines, you’ll have to invest in a diverse range of magazines and go beyond what’s easily accessible in local stores. I urge you to try these titles that are probably missing from the racks and shelves at your local retailers. Also, continue to discover new and different magazines on your own.

Now you tell us: Do you think magazines are useful in fighting colorism?

For a Brown Girl: who committed suicide when her rainbow wasn’t enough

“& this is for colored girls who have considered suicide / but are movin to the ends of their own rainbows”

—Ntozake Shange

In 1975 the poet Ntozake Shange published For Colored Girls who have Considered Suicide when the Rainbow is Enuf. In April 2014, the rainbow proved insufficient for one colored girl, Karyn Washington, creator of the online communities For Brown Girls and The #DarkSkinRedLips Project.

Like most of her fans, I didn’t know Karyn personally, but we exchanged a few tweets and emails about our common interests in colorism, self-love, and empowerment.

I got the news of Karyn’s suicide on Friday afternoon and struggled to fight back tears the rest of the workday.

As a comrade in the battle against colorism, a kindred dark-brown girl, and someone who fights every day to keep the demons of depression at bay, I felt the missing weight of of my beautiful sister’s life. Like a seesaw. It’s easier to manage the ups and downs when there’s someone on the other end. Only when there’s a strong counterbalance can we hope to rise again.

Karyn was reportedly suffering from depression following the death of her mother. She’d lost her counterbalance. And who can replace the weight of a mother?

She started FBG at the young age of 19, and only three years later killed herself at the age of 22.

While I can’t help but imagine the kind of impact she could have made on the world if she’d lived to be an old woman, I’m grateful for the work she left behind and all that she did accomplish.

For many girls and women, Karyn Washington was part of the rainbow, someone who helped them see the whole spectrum of their world and appreciate every shade.

But where did the rainbow fall apart for Karyn? Who could have been there to fill in the gap for her, just as she’d done for others?

In a recent edition of Shange’s book, she says we might think we face the cruelty of this world alone, “but we don’t. We discover that by sharing with each other we find strength to go on.”

At the end of Shange’s For Colored Girls, the seven ladies “enter into a closed tight circle.”

That’s the rainbow.

But for too many of us, that circle isn’t so tight. For too many of us the circle is broken and the rainbow is not enough.

When Karyn lost her mother, she lost a significant part of her rainbow. Perhaps she felt her circle was then too broken to ever be whole again.

Whether we know it or not, we’re all a part of someone else’s rainbow.

Karyn’s suicide makes me feel the urgency of completing and tightening the circle for as many people as possible. That includes helping them find professional help when needed. (We probably all need it at some point.)

Now that Karyn is gone, there’s an important space to fill in the struggle for self-love and empowerment and the ongoing battle against colorism.

So take your places. Shine with the light of your true colors.

If you are considering suicide, call 1-800-273-8255. For additional information, visit www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

5 Lessons on Colorism from Lupita Nyong’o’s Essence Speech

Lupita_NyongoTIFF2013_(cropped) gdcgraphicsThe talk continues about Lupita Nyong’o. Over the past few days, however, it’s gotten deeper than just her Hollywood stardom and high fashion domination.

Ever since Lupita’s powerful speech about the effects of colorism at Essence’s Black Women in Hollywood event, more people are weighing in on the issue.

Some, like me, are openly excited about this moment. Some might be a little more skeptical. Others are probably unaware that anything is happening.

Regardless of what we ultimately believe about Lupita’s role in fighting colorism, it’s clear that she’s helping to spark discussion about colorism in ways that very few other celebrities have.

After watching and reading Lupita’s speech, I went back and parsed out six big takeaways to share with you.

1) Images matter a lot.

“And then Alek Wek came on the international scene. A celebrated model, she was dark as night, she was on all of the runways and in every magazine and everyone was talking about how beautiful she was. . . . a flower couldn’t help but bloom inside of me. When I saw Alek I inadvertently saw a reflection of myself that I could not deny. Now, I had a spring in my step because I felt more seen, more appreciated by the far away gatekeepers of beauty. . . . I could never have guessed that my first job out of school would be so powerful in and of itself and that it would propel me to be such an image of hope in the same way that the women of The Color Purple were to me.”

I’m not going to say too much here, because I think you get it.

2) It helps to admit that colorism affects us in deeply personal ways.

“I remember a time when I too felt unbeautiful. . . . I got teased and taunted about my night-shaded skin. And my one prayer to God, the miracle worker, was that I would wake up lighter-skinned. . . . And when I was a teenager my self-hate grew worse, as you can imagine happens with adolescence.”

It’s refreshing to hear a celebrity open up about their personal struggles, past or present, especially when so many claim they’ve never struggled with self-love. It helps people who are currently struggling to see that there’s hope and that they can live a brilliant life despite the difficulties.

For us as individuals, we can’t really heal if we pretend we’ve never been hurt. We have to start by admitting it to ourselves. But when we reach a point where we can admit it openly and publically, to those we know and love, and to others, we release an even greater burden.

It takes courage, but the first step to healing is acknowledging the pain.

3) A loving parent’s affirmations aren’t always enough.

“My mother reminded me often that she thought that I was beautiful, but that was no consolation: She’s my mother, of course she’s supposed to think I am beautiful.”

I’ve written before about the mistake that many parents make in thinking that merely telling their daughter she’s beautiful means she should have no self-image issues.

The truth is, even if parents tell their children several times every day how gorgeous they are, the rest of the world may be saying something very different. Parents must acknowledge this outside influence and realize that they have to be more proactive in building a positive self-image in their children.

4) Colorism isn’t just about the media.

“but around me the preference for light skin prevailed. To the beholders that I thought mattered, I was still unbeautiful.”

256px-Gabourey_Sidibe_2010 greg hernandezAlthough we often focus on the media as a force that perpetuates colorism, many of us, including me, first experience colorism from the everyday people around us. The media is an easy target because if we focus on the media, we don’t have to face our daily reality, relationships, and interactions with people in real life.

If we focus on the media’s role in keeping colorism alive, we don’t have to confront our parent, aunt, best friend, or coworker whose words and actions continue the cycle of colorism.

Even when people in the media, like Lupita Nyong’o or Gabourey Sidibe, present a change from the norm, many people don’t accept them. They reject the alternative image because it goes against what they’ve really believed all their lives.

It’s not enough just to demand change in the media. We must also demand it from ourselves and the people around us.

5) Colorism can use celebrity spokespeople just like any other cause.

“And so I hope that my presence on your screens and in the magazines may lead you, young girl, on a similar journey.”

Many celebrities use their influence to campaign for special causes and to bring attention to issues that would get very little attention otherwise. Over the past several decades those causes have included HIV/AIDS, poverty, cancer, racism, gay rights, women’s rights, war, child abuse, domestic violence, human trafficking, immigration reform, visual and performing arts, literacy, employment, prison reform, climate change and the list goes on.

It’s time for colorism to be added to that list.

But one person, celebrity or not, can’t make change on their own. We must continue to be the everyday spokespeople every day.

Will you join us in speaking out about colorism?

Fair Weather: A Poem About Colorism

3 siblings close up, one boy and two girls, for a poem about colorism

I wrote the following poem about colorism when I was in junior high, circa 1997. I don’t remember my exact age or the exact time. I do know that this was the first time I’d ever expressed my thoughts about colorism, and It was more than a decade later before I ever tried to speak or write about colorism again.

One of the reasons I wanted to launch the Colorism Poetry Contest is to give people the kind of platform that I would have benefited from. Rather than writing poems and tucking them away in notebooks, never to be shared with anyone, this contest will give people the chance to offer their expressions to the whole world.

What I hope the collection of poetry submissions will show is the diversity of ideas and experiences with colorism, as well as the similarities.

For those who have never attempted to write a poem about colorism, the Colorism Poetry Contest serves as a prompt that can get people to really think about colorism–what it means, how it makes them or others feel, and how it affects individual lives.

The professional, career writer in me could make a thousand revisions and edits to this poem, but I left it as it was originally written, true to who I was at that time. What’s published below is a peak into what’s driven me over the years to eventually dedicate myself to this work.

3 siblings close up, one boy and two girls, for a poem about colorism
Me and my two siblings in the 90’s

 

Fair Weather: A Poem About Colorism

by Sarah L. Webb circa 1997

It took a while for me to remember

That rainy, gray morning in September

A girl with skin like the sun

Didn’t stop me from having fun

A lot of attention is what she got

Friends try to bring me along

I say I would rather not

Because right here the will is strong

The two of us they try to compare

But I’m used to it, so I don’t care

I don’t care if her hair is long

With my hair I see nothing wrong

So what if I have darker skin

I’m not deprived of any finesse

And might I say again

It adds to my gracefulness

The guys try to put her in my place

Because they claim she has a prettier face

But I can, without the slightest hint of a try,

See myself as beautiful until I die

Colorism and Black History Month

Everyone has a different opinion about February as Black History Month. Some wonder why it’s necessary, or even if it’s a form of “reverse racism.” Others think it’s very necessary, but poorly executed. While I’ve always been a supporter of celebrating Black History Month, this year I want to discuss colorism and Black History Month.

Colorism Healing through Black History

One way to heal from colorism is to cultivate pride in being people of African descent. Since colorism is the result of white supremacy, it’s necessary for our communities to celebrate black history as a way to reverse the harmful effects that centuries of white supremacy have had on us.

As Malcolm X said shortly before his death in February 1965:

Malcolm X by Ed Ford, World Telegram staff photographer
by Ed Ford

As these Europeans dominated the continent of Africa, it was they who created the image of Africa that was projected abroad. And they projected Africa and the people of Africa in a negative image, a hateful image.

Those who oppress know that you can’t make a person hate the root without making them hate the tree. You can’t hate your own and not end up hating yourself. And since we all originated in Africa, you can’t make us hate Africa without making us hate ourselves. And they did this very skillfully. And what was the result?

They ended up with 22 million Black people here in America who hated everything about us that was African. We hated the African characteristics. We hated our hair. We hated our nose, the shape of our nose, and the shape of our lips, the color of our skin. (Malcolm X, 1965)

With those words, Malcolm explains the direct connection to black history and colorism. As long as others are responsible for telling our history, blacks around the world will struggle with the internalized racism that we call colorism.

And the celebration of Black History does have to be explicit, overt, and blatant, just like racism has been for hundreds of years. The white supremacist message has been loud and clear for centuries, and we can’t effectively fight against it simply by being subtle, silent, or scared.

One month out of the year is not enough, however, so we must take the celebration of black culture and black beauty beyond February, and make it an everyday norm in all of our institutions. Yes, schools are important, but so are churches, organizations, teams, clubs, and families.

Colorism as a Potential Blind-Spot in Black History

I also caution us not to assume that celebrating Black History in and of itself heals us from colorism. Typically, Black History month focuses on the accomplishments of black Americans over the years. However, if we’re not careful, we may send the message that light-skinned blacks are the ones who are most accomplished and worthy of celebration.

A wall or book filled mostly with light skinned blacks sends a similar message as a wall or book that doesn’t include blacks. Because lighter skinned blacks are disproportionately represented in politics, education, entertainment, and other fields, it’s easy to compile a list of black figures for your students or children and end up with very few dark-skinned people.

Diversity and inclusiveness require conscious efforts, whether it’s skin color, race, gender, profession, sexuality, or religion.

In fact, discussing this aspect of Black History is a good way to bring up a discussion about colorism. It also shows that focusing merely on race without analyzing the role of skin color can perpetuate group disparities. (I’ll get more into that in another post.)

Questions about Colorism and Black History Month

If you haven’t already been talking about colorism, February, Black History Month, is a great opportunity to start. Here a few questions to get you going.

questions about colorism and black history month

⇒ Is there disproportionate representation of light or dark skinned blacks during Black History Month? If so, why might that be the case

⇒ Who were/are some of the people who have advocated against colorism or internalized racism among blacks?

⇒ What can we learn from the “black is beautiful” movement that took place during the 1960’s and 70’s?

⇒ How can the study of Black History heal individuals and communities from colorism?

A Brief Introduction to Colorism for Children and Young Adults

brief introduction to colorism for children and young adults

I. The Purpose of this Resource

brief introduction to colorism for children and young adultsThe purpose of this Introduction to Colorism is to help parents, educators, mentors, and counselors facilitate discussions about colorism with young people of all ages.

The following is meant to give youth an introductory glimpse of what colorism is, where it comes from, and how it affects people. This is done primarily through literature and discussion/written responses.

Whether or not they’ve ever heard of the term “colorism,” you will find that many people have observed or experienced acts of colorism at some point in their lives, while others have not. These materials are designed with both sets of audiences in mind.

II. What is Colorism?

Colorism is prejudice toward others because of their skin color or features such as hair texture and eye color. It may also be a dislike for your own skin color and features.

Two people may be the same race and still be treated differently because of how dark or light their skin is.

Colorism is something that happens all across the country and all around the world. There are a few different explanations for why it exists, but most historians say it’s the result of racism during colonialism and slavery.

During slavery in the United States, for example, many Native Americans and Blacks were mixed with white ancestry. Although they were not treated as equal to whites, some people believed that being mixed with more European ancestry made them more acceptable than Native Americans and Blacks who were not mixed.

Since those times, colorism has taken many forms, and people of all colors have been perpetrators and targets.

III. Suggested Readings on Colorism with preliminary questions

A. Elementary

1.Same Difference by Calida Rawles (also in video format via YouTube)

a) How do Lisa and Lida treat each other before they see their differences?

b) How does Lisa and Lida’s grandmother help the girls feel good about their differences?

2. Skin Again by bell hooks

a) What can a person’s skin tell you about who they are?

b) What can a person’s skin NOT tell you about who they are?

3.Nina Bonita by Ana Maria Machado

a) How does the bunny feel about Nina’s black skin?

b) What does this story show us about different skin colors in families?

B. Middle

1. The Skin I’m In by Sharon G. Flake

a) How or why does Maleeka develop a dislike for her skin color?

b) What does Miss Saunders teach Maleeka about being comfortable in her own skin?

2.Fall Secrets by Candy Dawson Boyd

a) How does Jessie’s relationship with her sister affect her feelings and actions at school?

b) How does opening up about her secret start to change Jessie’s attitude and feelings about skin color?

C. High

1. Like A Tree Without Roots by Teresa Ann Willis

a) How does history play a role in Jasmine’s attitude about her skin color and features?

b) What steps does Jasmine take on her journey to self-acceptance?

2. “Team Lightskinned” YouTube video via CNN

a) According to the poem, what are some of the burdens and privileges of being light- or dark-skinned?

b) How does this poem demonstrate a need for empathy among people of different colors?

3.Maud Martha by Gwendolyn Brooks

a) How does colorism impact family dynamics in Maud Martha?

b) How does colorism affect romantic relationships in Maud Martha?

D. College

1.The Blacker the Berry by Wallace Thurman

a) How is skin color tied to class and social status in Blacker the Berry?

b) How does Emma Lou perpetuate colorism toward herself and others in the novel?

2.Coffee Will Make You Black by April Sinclair

a) How or why does Stevie learn to appreciate her own skin and hair?

b) What can we learn from this novel about how and why colorism is perpetuated?

IV. Colorism Writing Prompts/Discussion Starters

A. Have you ever heard someone make negative comments about another person’s skin color? If so, what did you hear them say, and how did you feel about it?

B. How is colorism similar to or different from other types of prejudice?

C. Do you think a person’s skin color is really what makes them smart, nice, or beautiful? Why or why not?

V. Next Steps

After you’ve reviewed these materials and have attempted to use them, please give me your feedback. Any ideas, suggestions, or critiques would be quite helpful in the future development of educational resources on colorism.

Lupita Nyong’o Strikes a Blow to Colorism in Hollywood

Lupita Nyong’o Strikes a Blow to Colorism in Hollywood
photo by Steve Rhodes

Lupita Nyong’o has skyrocketed into the national and international spotlight since the release of 12 Years a Slave and the buzz surrounding the current award season.

12 Years came out in October of 2013 with Nyong’o playing the supporting role of Patsy.

Since then, Nyong’o was a favorite for all of the national Hollywood awards. She didn’t take home a Golden Globe, but she recently snagged a SAG and a CCA (Screen Actors Guild and Critic’s Choice Award). She’s also been nominated for an NAACP Image Award and an Academy Award.

She’s been the talk of fashion and entertainment circles and can be seen on magazines, news broadcasts, social media, and websites of all types.

This is all amazing news for Nyong’o. But her explosive fame is also good news for the rest of us.

How? Well, to explain how, I must first put Nyongo’s success in the broader context of colorism in Hollywood.

Colorism in Hollywood

Today, dark-skinned women are still under- and misrepresented in Hollywood. Sadly, this is the case no matter the race of the filmmakers.

In fact, colorism is more obvious in films with all or majority black actors. In films such as Baggage Claim or Best Man Holiday or Coming to America, it’s clear that lighter skin (and “whiter” features) is the feminine beauty standard for women in Tinseltown.

Beyond movies, the lack of dark-skinned women in all forms of media has been noted before.

That’s why the ubiquity of Lupita Nyong’o’s image, the fact that we can see her almost everywhere, is such an exciting phenomenon.

More about Lupita Nyong’o

Lupita Nyong’o is a Kenyan woman who was born in Mexico in 1983. Her father was a politician and university professor. She and her family lived a middle class life in Nairobi.

At 19, she pursued studies in filmmaking at Hampshire College in Massachusetts, and not too long ago, she graduated from the Yale School of Drama with a Master’s in Acting.

Before her big break as an actress on the big screen, Lupita wrote, directed, and produced the 2009 documentary “In My Genes,” which looks at the treatment of albinos in Kenya.

In a Telegraph interview, Lupita’s own words about watching The Color Purple as a young girl so clearly illustrate the issue of colorism in Hollywood:

“It was the first time I’d seen someone like me on screen. Whoopi Goldberg had my kind of hair and was dark like me. I thought, maybe I could do this for a living.”

It’s safe to say that Lupita is now doing the same thing for other young girls right now.

Undermining Colorism in Hollywood

Here are a few ideas I have about exactly how Lupita Nyong’o and the buzz surrounding her could help fight colorism in Hollywood.

1) The simple fact that a dark-skinned actress with short, natural hair and “black” features is getting so much recognition and so many accolades will hopefully make filmmakers question their assumptions about who can appeal to a mass audience.

Too often people excuse colorism in casting by saying that “racially ambiguous” people are more relatable to a larger audience.

I say, please give me a strong break! If that were true, we wouldn’t see movies like Best Man Holiday with very dark-skinned male actors.

Lupita’s success exposes the lie in that excuse and reveals that movie makers repeatedly cast light-skinned women because they are caught up in colorism.

2) Lupita Nyong’o helps fight colorism because she is unmistakably dark-skinned (even when editors try to make her appear lighter than she really is), and yet people of all races all over the world are acknowledging her talent and beauty.

3) Lupita consistently wears her hair short and natural, helping to redefine what women must look like to gain acceptance in Hollywood.

Most black actresses on the red carpet wear straight hair, often with extensions or wigs. And there’s a common notion among many blacks that straight hair is necessary for mainstream success. Hopefully Lupita can move the needle on that harmful attitude as well.

Of course, Lupita might very well straighten her hair or don a wig or weave someday, maybe even soon. However, her courage to rock short, natural hair while first breaking into Hollywood (versus people who did so after already achieving a certain level of success) has definitely sent a strong message to the public.

4) I think her comment about Whoopi Goldberg suggests that Lupita is well aware of how her image impacts viewers around the world.

Many Hollywood stars attempt to be ahistorical. They want to pretend there’s no larger context for the roles they play on and off the screen. Such obliviousness, ignorance, or denial only supports the status quo.

By merely acknowledging the power of imagery in her personal life, Lupita has done more than many in progressing the fight against colorism (whether that was her intent or not).

Based on the subject of her 2009 documentary “In My Genes,” the role she chose to play in 12 Years a Slave and other comments she’s made, I’d say Lupita is the kind of person who would embrace the idea that she’s making a difference in Hollywood, even if only indirectly.

5) It’s not just the fact that she was cast in a movie and won awards that makes a difference for colorism in Hollywood. It’s the casting and awards, plus the mainstream media buzz surrounding this beautiful newcomer that somehow makes it significant.

One blow doesn’t win the battle

Before I close, I must say that colorism in Hollywood still exists despite Lupita’s recent rise to fame. We need to see more women like her (and continued positive responses to women like her) if we’re to actually see a significant reduction of colorism in Hollywood.

However, I think the attention she’s getting suggests that we can make progress.

I also think we should take advantage of all the attention she’s getting in Hollywood to strike a blow to colorism in our everyday lives, in our families, workplaces, schools, and personal relationships.

Let me suggest a few ideas of how we can do that.

♦ Watch her on television and in movies and get others to watch with you.

♦ Buy the magazines that are featuring her and share them with your kids, relatives, coworkers, etc.

♦ Share a picture of her and/or positive comment about her on social media.

♦ Do the same for other under- and misrepresented Hollywood actresses whenever possible.

Remember that you can like ColorismHealing.org on Facebook for more positive images.

Are You Doing Enough to Help Your Child Deal with Colorism?

black girl with plaits via blue skyz media on flickr; help your children deal with colorism

“I always tell my daughter she’s beautiful,” said one father in response to our discussion about colorism. He, like many parents, believed that she was too young for any discussion beyond that. Like many parents, he thought that this vague show of affection was enough to ward off the world’s animosity toward dark skin and Afrocentric features. Yet despite his regular proclamations of his daughter’s beauty, she herself actually saw very little beauty or worth in dark skin. I could see it, but he was clearly in denial. If you really want to help your child deal with colorism, it’s time to stop relying on the easy excuses.

Why merely telling her she’s beautiful isn’t enough

The typical human mind processes negative feedback more deeply than positive feedback. It’s said that for every instance of negative feedback, it takes 5 to 6 instances of positive feedback to balance the negative. I first heard this in an intro to psych class in undergrad, and I’ve never forgotten it.

There’s a lot of negative messages about dark skin and Afrocentric features floating around our communities, institutions, media, family, and other places that our children frequent. Research shows that even if we told our children that they are beautiful every day of their lives, it probably won’t be enough to balance out all of the negativity that says otherwise.

Then there’s also the idea that a parent’s love is blind, that parents believe their children are beautiful because they’re theirs. For some children, the fact that you’re their parent may limit the effectiveness of you telling them they’re beautiful.

Finally, telling your child that she is beautiful doesn’t necessarily communicate to her that you think dark skin and Afrocentric features are beautiful in general. Remember that eradicating colorism is about more than individual self-esteem—it’s also about being able to see beauty in all its shades and forms. So even if telling your daughter that she’s beautiful causes her to really believe that she is, that doesn’t automatically mean that she’ll be able to appreaciate dark-skinned beauty in others. I’ve met a lot of dark-skinned girls over the years who see themselves as beautiful, yet believe that they are an exception and that light-skin is generally more beautiful.

Why you can’t wait for her to be the “right” age

Studies show that children can recognize differences in skin color, hair, and other features as early as six months old, and that by age four, many children have already begun assigning positive and negative traits to those differences.

My own mother often tells the story about how I was able to verbalize my awareness of colorism at the age of five. At age six I had already been called a “black n****r,” and was told by a playmate: “I like your sister better than you because she’s white and you’re black.” At age nine, a girl in my dance class said, “Eeww! You’re so black!” And those were only the blatantly stated messages of hatred for dark skin. Consistently throughout the years there were countless other messages about skin color, hair, and other features.

Many parents make the mistake of waiting until their child is old enough to have intellectual conversations, possibly even as late as adulthood. But the evidence points to the need for parents to intervene as early as possible before attitudes solidify and are thus harder to change.

As far as not saying or doing anything, just remember that ignoring an issue is the same as condoning it. Imagine what message you’re sending to your child when they can clearly see discrimination, but for some reason they’re parents act like everything is normal.

What it really takes to help your child deal with colorism

Courage. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to talk to our children about any tough issue, whether it’s drugs, sex, death, or racism. But the tougher the issue, the more they need our guidance as parents. Better they learn from us than from the media, or peers, or other sketchy sources.

It also takes honest and direct conversation. We must be honest about the fact that colorism and racism do exist and that they cause a lot of pain. We must not skirt around the issue or make our children think it’s such a taboo topic that they can’t talk to us about it. In order to let our children know that they can come to us, we must first go to them.

Finally, it requires proactive effort.

We must be careful with our comments about the attractiveness of others, including ourselves. If you always tell your dark-skinned daughter she’s beautiful, yet she never witnesses you acknowledge the beauty of other dark-skinned girls and women, what message are you really sending?

We must be mindful of how we treat others. Even without words, children can recognize preferential or unfair treatment, and they will recognize whether there’s a pattern based on skin color or hair texture.

We must also be mindful of who and what our children are exposed to. Limit their interaction with people you know are color-struck. Expose them to a wide diversity of skin tones, races, features, languages, etc. Limit their viewing of general media, and increase their viewing of racially diverse media, especially media that affirms the beauty of darker people.

In the end, you’re not doing any more or less than you would normally be doing as a good parent. For example, you’re probably already buying books for your daughter. Now just consider the kind of books you buy.

What do you do to help your child deal with colorism?